Symptoms of Insanity
by But Friends Make Secrets
Summary: The Marauders make a list. Nuff said. Read the title . Marauders era. It's sorta friendship, humor, general, with some other genres in there too. PLEASE R&R! NOW COMPLETE!
1. Prologue: the creation of the list

**Ok, so this is my SECOND Harry Potter fic. I did this cause all my other angsty stories were starting to get to me. XP Although, I do have some not as humorous chapters planned, it's still mostly humor. Hope you enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER!!! I own nothing!!! It all belongs to Miss. J.K.**

"Sirius, I think you're insane."

Sirius looked up at James. They had only been back at Hogwarts for a week and so far their third year had started off pretty boring. Till now. "What? No I'm not! What makes you say that?"

James pointed down to Sirius' plate where he had been sculpting his food into various figures and buildings. He even made a replica of a slytherin student (identifiable by the peas adorning the figure) being beheaded by a surprisingly well crafted guillotine.

"Oh, this? It's not insane, it's ART!"

James just shook his head and grinned. "Yeah, well, your 'art' is still insane." Sirius scowled at him. "How would you know? You got some kind of list of what's insane?" James looked thoughtful for a moment. He then broke out into a grin that Sirius would have commented on as being 'insane' had he not been so worried.

"Not yet." James then quickly stood up from the table and took off. "Hey!" Sirius immediately stood and ran after him ignoring the confused looks of the remaining two Marauders. He followed him all the way back to the Gryffindor common room where he found James holding a long piece of parchment. He looked over his shoulder and saw written at the top of the paper in James' big curly letters,

SYMPTOMS OF INSANITY

1.) Playing with your food and calling it 'art'

Sirius shook his head. "You're actually going to make a list of the signs of someone being insane?" James shook his head vigorously. "Yep. I only got the one now, but I'm sure I'll find more." He gave Sirius a pointed look.

He smirked. "Here, I'll add one too." He stole the parchment away from James before he had a chance to protest and quickly added his own symptom.

2.) Making a list of symptoms that most likely apply to yourself as well.

"Are you calling ME insane!?" James looked at Sirius shocked. Sirius rolled his eyes. "Duh. Come on, I may do some insane things, but you've got your fare share of insane instances too." "Like what?" "Like the time you added that extra ingredient in potions class because it was Lilly's favorite color." Sirius thought for a moment. "Actually, if we're making a list, that should be on it too."

James tries to grab the paper back, but found himself being held at arms length while Sirius wrote.

3.) Basing your ingredients list off your obsession's favorite color.

James blushed furiously as Sirius howled with laughter. "Oh yeah, well what about the time you tried dog food to see if it would taste different to you because of your animagus?" Sirius stopped laughing as James stole the list back and began writing.

4.) Eating dog food. For ANY reason!

Now it was Sirius' turn to blush as James laughed. "Give it time James. I'm sure there'll be more of you on that list than me!" James stopped laughing and the two friends mock glared at each other, each challenging the other.

That night, Peter and Remus returned to the room shared by all four Marauders to find a strange piece of parchment hanging on the back wall.

Perhaps this was going to be an interesting year after all…

**Love it? Hate it? I'd love to know! Also, if you have any suggestions for 'symptoms' I'd be very grateful! I have a couple planned out, but I absolutely adore input!**


	2. Tail chasing

**Chapter two! I like this chapter better, but that's probably because the last one was just a prologue. Hope you like it!**

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"Wormtail! Come on, let's go!" James sighed impatiently as he and Sirius waited for their friend. It was the first full moon of the year and the three wizards were on their way to meet Remus at the Shrieking Shack. Well, trying to at least.

"Wormtail! Seriously! Move it!" "I'm coming! I'm coming!" The short blond coy ran up to his friends. "I had to finish that essay, my grade depends on it!" Sirius laughed. "We've been in school barely a month and your grade is already that bad?" Peter scowled, but stayed silent as James took out his invisibility cloak. "Come on, let's just go already."

The three made their way outside to the Womping Willow. They got out from under the cloak. Sirius turned and made a grand gesture to Peter. "After you." Peter just rolled his eyes and quickly turned into a rat, running under the vicious tree and stilling it. James and Sirius ran and ducked under into the tunnel. After a few moments, they reemerged in the shack. They transformed immediately as they saw Remus, already in wolf form.

The four animals all looked at each other before silently agreeing to go for a run. Peter crawled up James' leg and sat on his head, gripping his antlers. They then exited the shack and headed straight into the forest.

James and Sirius were sure to keep Remus between them, just in case something went wrong and they needed to control him. They all loved nights like this. The weather was perfect. It wasn't as hot and uncomfortable as the summer, but it also had yet to gain the biting winds and snow of winter.

Sirius breathed in the night air and gave a doggy grin. The wolf gave a great howl, and Sirius couldn't help but join in. He loved the sense of freedom he got while in his animal form. He loved Hogworts more than his home, but still. Nothing beat running free through the wilderness, feeling like nothing in the world could stop you.

Too soon, they were back at the Shrieking Shack. Peter had crawled up onto the windowsill, James was laying on a rug in the center of the room, and Remus was curled up on a pile of blankets in the corner.

Sirius was laying against the wall, utterly bored. By now, they were all so use to these monthly excursions that, other than the runs (which Sirius would never grow tired of), it had lost most of its excitement. A slight movement caught Sirius' eye as he turned his head. He turned back when he found it was just his tail, which had twitched a little. However, he found his eyes drawn back as it twitched again. He didn't even notice he was doing that! After watching his tail twitch a few more times, he focused all his energy on NOT moving.

One second…

Two seconds…

Three seconds…

Twitch.

He frowned. Why did it keep doing that? He moved, hoping he could stop that persistent twitching by laying his head on top of it. Unfortunately, he found that when he moved toward his tail, it would slip just out of reach.

Then twitch.

He growled slightly. He moved a bit more, stretching his neck out to catch to annoying extremity. But no matter what he did, his dog body was just too short to reach his own stupid tail!

He growled more, now completely annoyed with, well, himself. He jumped to his feet, determined to catch that Merlin forsaken tail that kept mocking him with it's twitching!

He turned his body, making a full circle and almost had it, when at the last second it whipped back to the other side of his body. He continued running in a circle, convinced that if he just gained enough momentum, he would succeed.

After a good minute or two, he FINALLY managed to close his jaws firmly (though not enough so to hurt himself) around his tail, successfully ending it's twitching.

He grinned to himself, proud of his 'victory'. That is, until he heard the small squeak in the corner. He tuned his head, tail still in mouth, only to find himself being stared at by a stag, a wolf and a rat, who had been watching the entire scene. Silence ran through the building. Sirius slowly let go of his tail (his feeling of triumph now gone), glanced around awkwardly before sitting back down, refusing to look at any of the other creatures in the shack for the rest of the night.

The next morning, James walked into their room, grinning from ear to ear as he grabbed a quill and moved over to the parchment on the wall.

5.) Chasing your tail.

He turned around to find a very red Sirius shuffling into the room. He jumped onto his bed, face down in his pillow. James opened his mouth but was quickly cut off. "Don't. Say. Anything."

James grinned as he glanced back at the list. He shook his head as he headed to his own bed.

"Don't have to, Padfoot. Not this time."

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**Love? Hate? Some form of emotion? Anything? please tell!**


	3. Laughter

**New chapter! I'm hoping to get more reviews this time *wink*wink*hint*hint*. Hope you enjoy it!**

**P.S. Be honest, how many of you have done something like this before? I know I have. ;p**

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James stared at the ceiling, utterly bored. He, Sirius, and Peter were sitting in detention for hexing Snape. James was quite proud actually. Sirius had intentionally started a fight with Snivellus to distract him. Meanwhile, James and Peter had come behind him and hexed him to speak gibberish right as he was casting a spell at Sirius. Once he realized he couldn't cast any spells, he had turned to physically attacking Sirius which then led to Peter and James stepping in and joining the brawl. The best part had come when Professor McGonagall had stepped in and, not trusting the Marauders side of the story, had asked Snape what had happened only to receive his angry gibberish as an answer.

Which brings us back to the present. Where the three Marauders were being forced to sit in silence for the next hour and a half. While James still thought it was worth it, it didn't change the fact that he was utterly bored. He glanced around the room. Peter was being a good student and studying for the potions test they had the next day, though he had a bored look on his face. Sirius was alternating between looking out the window with a bored look on his face and doodling on his papers with a bored look on his face. He looked up front and even McGonagall had a bored look on her face.

James sighed and put his head down on his desk. Normally, he would pass notes or use some form on communication with his fellow pranksters, but the Professor had been smart enough to put them on separate sides of the room. Now he had nothing to do but let his mind wander…

He really should be studying for that potions exam like Peter. Wow. James Potter even considering studying? Wait… James potter considering acting like PETER!? That's messed up…

Oh well, he'd study last minute and manage to scrape by, as usual. This left him more time to contemplate how to get Lilly Evans to date him. Why did she hate him so much? Sure he and his friends pranked Snivellus and others on a practically daily basis, but still… Couldn't she see they'd be great together? Yes, he'd just have to find a way to convince her.

He found his thoughts straying again as he looked back up at the teacher. Was she even awake? Her eyes were open, but only a little. And James wouldn't put it past her to develop a way to sleep with her eyes open. Merlin, it was so quiet! He hated when it was so silent. He wondered what his parents would say if they saw him sitting so quietly, even if it was in detention. Heh, they'd probably interrogate him and test him for any spells to prove he was an imposter. He chuckled at the thought.

Sirius looked over at him, wondering why he had chuckled. He looked so…. Serious. Hehe, serious Sirius. James chuckled a little harder. Now Sirius was really confused. Perhaps it was the boredom, or the awkward silence finally got to him, but for some reason James found the look on Sirius' face simply hilarious.

He couldn't stop himself. He full out laughed. He tried to stop, but every time he did, he could feel Sirius, Peter and McGonagall looking at him, which just made him laugh harder. McGonagall (apparently awake now) stood at her desk.

"Might I ask what is so funny Mr. Potter?" But James only laughed harder. By now he had his face down on the desk, trying to control his breathing.

After a few minutes and a bit of yelling on the Professor's part, he finally managed to stop laughing. _Wow_, he thought. _That was pretty weird. I wonder what the others thought of that?_ He looked over at Peter, who still looked confused. He probably figured it was something that only he didn't get and was trying to figure it out. Sirius, on the other hand, had a positively smug look on his face. It took James a moment to figure out why.

_Oh no…._

Sure enough, as soon as they were back in their rooms, Sirius made a beeline for the parchment on the wall.

"No wait! You have to let me explain!"

"Nope."

"But it was just cause I was thinking and-"

"Sure, Prongs. Sure."

"No really! I just-"

"Give up. You're not getting out of this one."

Sirius walked away and James looked up at the newest addition to the list.

6.) Laughing for absolutely no reason. None.

"But I HAD a reason! See-"

"Prongs, forget it. You're not gonna win." Sirius gave him a pat on the shoulder and a wink before walking out of the room, smirking. James groaned and put his face in his hands. He then glanced up and glared at the offending piece of paper.

"Stupid list…"

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**Remember kids, reviews equals encouragement! Unless you didn't like it, but even then I still want to know so I can stop wasting my time. In other words... REVIEW! PLEEAASE!!**


	4. Morning people

**New chapter! Thank you all who have been leaving positive reviews! Also, those of you who gave suggestions, I will be using them. This chapter was already started when I got the reviews, so the next chapter will probably have some of your ideas. Hope you enjoy!**

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"Prongs! Wakey wakey!"

James groaned as he felt a large weight on his bed. He cracked an eye open to see Sirius jumping up and down on his bed.

"Up! Up!"

James merely groaned again before pulling his pillow over his head.

"No! Don't go back to sleep!"

The jumping became more persistent and James felt himself being moved dangerously close to the edge of his bed. He sat up and put his arms up in surrender.

"Alright! Alright! I'm up!"

Sirius grinned before jumping off and moving on to do a similar routine for Peter.

"He get you too?"

James looked over and saw Remus straightening his robes.

"Yeah. When'd he get you?"

"Like fifteen minutes ago. We actually should be getting down soon if we want to have a leisurely breakfast before class."

James looked at his clock and saw it was 7:30.

"Ugh. I hate mornings…"

_The next day…_

"PRONGS! WAKE! UP!"

Sirius yelled, jumping up and down on James' bed to accentuate each word. James growled and looked at his clock.

"Sirius! It's 7:00! Breakfast doesn't even start for half an hour!"

But Sirius just ignored him and jumped higher.

"Alright! I'm getting up already! Geez…"

_The next day…_

"James, you've got till the count of three…"

James just buried himself further in his blankets.

"One…"

Ignoring him.

"Two…"

He's bluffing!

"Three!"

Sirius gave a hard shove and James suddenly found himself landing hard on the floor, his blankets falling around him.

"Sirius!"

He simply shrugged.

"I warned you."

_The __**next**__ day…_

"James, let it be known that I am giving you sufficient warning. If you are not out of this bed in the next three seconds, you **will** regret it."

James glared up at him.

"You can push me if you want. I've taken the liberty of placing a softening spell around my bed. So HA!"

Sirius glared at him.

"Five seconds have passed. And I did warn you so…"

James screeched and leapt out of bed as ice cold water shot out of Sirius' wand.

"SIRIUS! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

Remus and Peter looked up to see a soaking wet, shivering James chasing after a hysterically laughing Sirius.

"I warned you!"

_You guessed it, the next day…_

"Come on Prongs! Up and at 'em!"

James moaned. And looked up.

"Sirius, it's 6:45! And SATURDAY! Why are you waking me up?"

"Because I'm booored!" Sirius whined.

"ARG! You're like such a little kid sometimes!"

James fell back on his pillow and pulled the covers over his head.

"Now James, we don't want a repeat of yesterday, do we?"

James was suddenly wide awake and out of bed.

"I'm up!"

Remus sat up and noticed that Sirius was fully dressed and everything.

"Padfoot, how long have you been up?"

"About an hour."

James stopped moving and stared at him. He then walked over to the list on the wall.

7.) Waking up at an Ungodly hour every. Single. Day.

Sirius looked at the new item on the list and turned to James.

"First off, it's not an _Ungodly _hour and second it's not insane!"

James shook his head and turned to flop back onto his bed.

"Yes, Padfoot. It is."

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**Don't you hate people like that, who always wake up early and then drag you up with them? Being nocturnal myself, I find them quite insane. Please review and leave any suggestions you like!**


	5. Books for boys

**Alright, so this chapter is actually a combination of two people's suggestions. Why? Cause I thought they went well together. Hope you all enjoy!

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Remus sighed and put aside his book. He had just finished yet another book from the library. This latest one had been thick and heavy and Remus had hoped it would last longer than he other books he had been reading. Unfortunately he wasn't that lucky, as it had only lasted him three days.

Gah, he was so BORED! James and Sirius were in detention for provoking yet another fight with Snape and Peter had a tutoring session for potions in a desperate attempt to save his grade. Remus had planned on spending his uncharacteristically quiet evening reading. But alas, he no longer had a book to read.

He sighed and fell back on his bed. He toyed with the idea of going down to the library to get another book, but he was still sore from the last full moon and really didn't feel like leaving the room.

Remus stood up and walked over to his trunk to see if there were any books he had brought from home worth reading a second time. He rummaged through his stuff when he happened upon a book he had never seen before. His first instinct when he saw it was to toss it aside, but he was curious as to how it got there in the first place.

He wracked his brains as he read the back cover. Then he remembered. The day he had left for the Hogwarts Express, his little cousin had been visiting. She, despite her young age, enjoyed reading as much as Remus. She had gone on and on (and _on_) about all the books she had found at a muggle book store. Then at the last minute, she threw in one of her books, stating that Remus should read more fun stories, instead of all informational and text books.

And now he stood, months later, with said book in his hands. The plot did seem kind of interesting and possibly a little funny, and it wasn't like he had anything better to do anyways. He glanced around the room, as if to make sure he was really alone before shrugging to himself. He then sat back down with his new book and started to read.

A few hours later, Sirius and James were making their way up to their dorm.

"Uh, I never want to do that again!"

"Really, cleaning the whole room with no magic? It's just cruel."

"I know…"

"…"

"…"

"So we're on for hexing Snape tomorrow, right?"

"Oh, you know it."

They opened the door to there room to find Remus sitting up in his bed, but clearly asleep. The two friends looked at each other and grinned mischievously. James held up three fingers and brought them down.

Three…

Two…

One…

They both leapt at the same time, landing on either side of Remus on his bed.

"Moony! Time to wake up!"

"Your fabulous friends have return and require entertainment!"

Remus jumped up in shock and despite his efforts to steady himself, found himself crashing to the floor, bringing James with him.

"Ah! Guys, what gives? It's like 10 'o' clock at night!"

Sirius lay down across the bed and looked down, grinning at the heap Remus and James were in.

"Exactly! The night is young! Live a little Moony!"

Remus grumbled as he picked himself up and dusted off his clothes. He looked back to where James was still lying on the floor, groaning a little.

"You alright there Prongs?"

"Ooooh, I think I landed on something."

He sat up slowly and pulled out a book from underneath him. But not just any book. Remus paled slightly. _Oh no…_

"What's this?"

James looked at the book. Then at Remus. Then back to the book before he burst out laughing. Sirius was immediately interested after seeing James' reaction and how red Remus had just gotten.

"What? What is it? Let me see?"

"NO!"

Reus dove for the book, but James pulled it out of reach and threw it over his head where Sirius caught it and also started laughing.

"'_The Frog Princess_'? Remus, what the heck?!"

"Shut up! It's not even mine! My cousin just threw it in my trunk and-"

"And you decided to actually READ IT!?"

"It's not that bad, I mean the plot's kinda interesting and-"

"It's a girl book!"

"Not necessarily...!"

At this, Sirius started laughing even harder.

"Dude, if the cover is PINK, it's pretty safe to assume it's a girl book."

"I mean really Moony, reading a book like this-"

"And then DEFENDING it-"

"It's just.."

James and Sirius exchanged glances before breaking out into hysterical laughter again and running to the side of the room. Remus saw where they were heading and immediately went even redder than he already was (if that was possible).

"NO NO NO!"

"Oh, yes yes yes!"

Remus desperately tried to steal the quill out of James' hand but Sirius held him back, still laughing. Remus groaned as the two Marauders stepped back, STILL laughing, to admire the newest addition to their list.

8.) Reading a book CLEARLY meant for Girls. And then trying to defend it.

Peter chose that moment to walk in. What he found was James doubled over in laughter, Sirius on the ground also laughing, and Remus sitting on the floor with his head in his hands.

"Uh, did I miss something?"

"I've been sucked into these freaks' stupid list."

Sirius and James finally managed to get themselves under control and went to sit on either side of Remus.

"Come on, cheer up Moony. It's not that bad!"

Remus simply glared and started banging his head against the wall. Peter, meanwhile, stared at the list on the wall, feeling slightly left out. He pouted.

"Aw, I'm the only one not on it..."

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**I've actually read Frog Princess and I thought it was ok, but then again, I am a girl. XD This reminds me!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Frog Princess! I own so little I'm realizing...**

** Please review! It brings joy to my soul!**


	6. Wants

**I know this chapter is shorter, but it just sort of came out this way. What can you do? Hope you like it despite it's length!

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The four Marauders were sitting at the Gryffindor table, casually eating their breakfast. Peter, one of the lesser known students, was pouting, as he had been for several days now.

"It's no fair that you three get to be on the list. I feel left out!" Remus groaned.

"For the last time, Wormtail, you don't WANT to be on that list!"

"Besides, you've never done anything really _insane_ before." James commented.

"Stupid, maybe. But not insane." Sirius chimed in. Peter scowled.

"I'm just as insane as you guys!" Remus put his head in his hands.

"Peter, do you even hear what your arguing!?"

Peter simply frowned and turned back to eating his meal. He wasn't going to let this go. No way…

Later that day, during Potions class, Peter leaned over to James.

"What about the time I slipped and knocked all those beetle shells into my potion and turned my hair orange?"

"Stupid. Not insane." Peter sighed and went back to taking notes.

Then, during herbology, he turned to Sirius.

"What about when I got lost and almost walked into the Slytherin common room?"

"Stupid. Not insane." Peter sighed. There had to be something.

At lunch, he turned to all three of them.

"Ok, how about when I accidentally hexed myself to blow bubbles every time I spoke?"

"Stupid."

"And Annoying."

"But not insane."

"Ugh!" Peter banged his head on the table, making Remus twitch a little.

This went on for most of the day. Every time Peter saw one of the Marauders, he would list of random things he had done in the past, only to be shot down as stupid, annoying, or a lie (he had hoped they wouldn't realize the last one). Each time Remus found himself getting more and more annoyed (and twitchy).

Finally, that night, the four were all sitting in their room doing last minute homework before going to bed. However, Peter once again broke the silence.

"What about when I-"

"ARGH!!!!!!" Remus yelled causing everyone in the room to jump and effectively silencing peter. He jumped up and stalked over to the parchment on the wall and scribbling furiously on it. A moment late he threw the quill on the ground.

9.) Actually WANTING to be on a list of insane things.

"There! Are you happy now!? You're on the freakin' list! So now you can SHUT UP ABOUT IT!!!"

The three watched as Remus stomped back to his bed and began doing his homework again, mumbling to himself with an irritated glare still plastered to his face. He was so focused on angrily finishing his work, that he didn't notice the smug look on Peter's face as he turned and mouthed to the other two:

'I'm on the list.'

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**And now they're all on the list! Yay! Please review! Pretty, pretty, please!**


	7. Howlers and what comes with them

**Ok, this chapter is WAAAYYY different from the others. I just wanted to try something new out. You see, I want this story to be mostly humor, but with some more serious chapters mixed in, just to round out the story. It would only be every now and then and most chapters would still be humorous, but if you really hate it, let me know and I wont add any more. I hope you do like it though!

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"Alright class, I'll be handing back you tests now. Despite my previous doubts, many of you did surprisingly well."

McGonagall walked around the class passing back the parchments from the week before. The Marauders were in the back of the room, awaiting their fate as the professor made her way back to them.

As soon as they all had their papers and where outside the classroom, they began exchanging their grades.

"How'd you do Moony?"

"I got a 94. Not my best."

"Yeah, well don't expect us to be feeling sorry for you."

"What'd you get James?"

"80 exactly."

"Well that's not bad. What about you Wormtail?"

"76..."

"Well, that's still passing. And it was a hard test."

"Yeah, I guess…"

"What about you Padfoot?"

Their friend, however, was silent. He seemed deep in thought. The others looked at each other, concerned. Sirius was very good in charms and normally wasn't above bragging about it every time he got a grade only slightly below Remus'.

"What's wrong? Did you not do as good?" Sirius suddenly seemed to snap out of his thoughts and grinned at his friends.

"Naw, I did alright. I got an 85."

"That's still good Sirius. Like I said, it was a hard test." Sirius shrugged.

"Yeah I guess. Just as long as this doesn't reach home, I'll be good." The others exchanged another glance, this time confused, but decided to let it drop. James then smiled at his friends.

"Come on, lets figure out something to do to Snape. That always makes me feel better after tests…"

Unfortunately, none of them noticed a certain girl by the name of Bellatrix walking slightly behind them. She grinned evilly. Oh, her relatives would _love_ this…

The next week went by uneventfully other than the hilarious prank they had pulled on Snape, causing his hair to stick straight up in the air during dinner. By the time Monday came around, Sirius had completely forgotten about the test in charms. The four were eating their breakfast and chatting when the owls carrying mail flew in. James, Peter, and Remus each got a letter from their parents and began opening them. At first, Sirius didn't think he'd get anything, but he hadn't expected anything either. So it came as a shock when he saw his family owl flying towards him and even more of a shock when he noticed the bright red color of the envelope.

"Oh no…"

The other three looked up as Sirius was removing the letter and watched as the owl flew away. He stared at the letter in his hands and took a deep breath before opening the letter and releasing the fiery demon of Hell that was his mother's voice…

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK! AN 85 ON YOUR CHARMS TEST!? IT'S BAD ENOUGH HAVING YOU IN GRYFFINDOR ASSOCIATING WITH MUD-BLOODS AND BLOOD TRAITORS, BUT NOW YOU'RE LETTING YOUR GRADES SLIP TOO!?!! AND DON'T THINK WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT THOSE PRANKS YOU'VE BEEN PULLING ON THE SLYTHERIN STUDENTS, EITHER! YOU DISGRACEFUL CHILD! AND WE WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN KNOW HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR YOUR COUSIN! YOU HAD BETTER PULL YOUR ACT TOGETHER BEFORE YOU SHAME THIS FAMILY EVEN MORE THAN YOU ALREADY HAVE! STUPID, FILTHY CHILD! SOMETIMES I WISH YOU HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!"

And with those final words, the howler burst into flames, becoming nothing more than a pile of ashes on Sirius' plate. For a moment, the entire hall was silent. Then suddenly, laughter was heard from the Slytherin table and James, Remus, and Peter looked up to see Bellatrix and her friends grinning wickedly as they and the rest of the house laughed. James stood up and was about to pull out his wand when Remus pulled him back down.

"Not now Prongs." James nodded slowly, but continued t glare at the Slytherins. Over time, the hall returned to normal. This wasn't the first howler Sirius had received, although it was admittedly one of the worst. The Marauders were silent as Sirius continued to stare at the ashes in front of him, his appetite vanishing. Remus finally broke the silence.

"Come on, we better get to class now." The others nodded and stood up, Sirius' eyes still lingering on the ashes.

REMUS POV

I'll never be able to understand how a parent can be like that to their child. Sirius has never done anything to warrant that kind of behavior. I can't help but think about it most of the day. It's easy to see how shaken up Sirius gets after these letters. He tries not to show it, but it clearly upsets him. And how could it not? Having to live with a family like that? A family that's just…

I can't help it. I run up to the dorm before lunch. I never even wanted to be a part of this crazy thing, but I feel compelled to add to it now. I grab a quill out of my bag and hurriedly scrawl out my note.

10.) Treating your own son like dirt when he NEVER deserves it.

I don't know why it's so important to me. I guess I want him to know if he sees it, that we know how wrong his family is about him. Although I hope he knows already…

PETER POV

There's so much tension in the air. I feel so awkward, like I should say something, or do something, but I don't know what. I always feel bad for Sirius after those letters. He doesn't deserve them. It's especially bad, cause I you can always tell he feels bad about what his parents say about US. It's like he feels responsible for the things they say and do. But he shouldn't! Taking responsibility for his parents is just…

I have a few minutes before dinner, so I hurry up the stairs to our dorm. I see the list hanging on the wall. I grab a quill from the table and walk up to the list. I see that Remus has added something as well, letting him know his parents are insane. I smile at that, but still feel the need to add mine, to let him know how insane HE'S being. I write as neatly as I can:

11.) Acting like the things your family says or does is your fault, when it's obviously not.

JAMES POV

I watch him. It eats me up, how there's nothing I can say to make him feel better. I try, I really do. But every time I open my mouth, it's like the air escapes my lungs, leaving just an awkward silence in it's wake.

I can tell it's not just me, too. All of us are trapped in this place where we can't speak to each other. It's happened before, after particularly nasty letters from the Black household, so I know it'll pass by tomorrow, but while it's here it seems so wrong.

That night, we all sit in our room, still not saying anything. It's practically suffocating. After a bit, Remus sighs and gets up to go to bed. Sirius, seeing this, simply closes the curtains around his bed where he'd been sitting. Peter also goes to his side of the room. I guess we all just want tomorrow to come so we can let all this tension melt away with the night. But as I sit here, even knowing it'll be gone soon, I can't shake the quietness. It's just too…

I get up slowly, taking my quill with me. I wonder if the others even notice my movement, or if they even care. I see the other two additions to the list and smile, but it quickly dies with the reminder of why I'm even standing here. I write quickly and neatly. I turn to spare one last glance at the figures of my friends before sighing and turning off the lights and allowing us to all sink into our own version of insanity.

12.) Silence.

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**Well? I hope you liked it even though it wasn't funny like the other chapters but like I said, tell me if you don't so I wont do it again. PLEASE REVIEW!!!**


	8. Hogwarts Musical

**Ok, I gotta say, this chapter is probably my personal favorite so far. Mostly cause I use instances from my actual life in it. You'll see. ;)

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**

"Uhg, I'm so BORED!"

"Well, what do you want us to do about it, Prongs?"

"I don't know…"

"Well then, stop complaining!"

"But I'm bo-"

"BORED! We know! You've only told us like, twenty times!"

"*sniff* You didn't have to yell at me…"

"Yes, James. He did."

"Hey! Whose side are you on!"

"Moony's."

"… I didn't expect you to be so blunt about it…"

"How long have you known me?"

"Will you two be quiet! I'm trying to get my work done!"

"Hey, so am I! He's the one who started this whole argument!"

"Sure Padfoot, blame me for everything!"

"I don't blame you for everything! Just everything that's your fault."

James and Sirius glared at each other for a few moments before the room went silent. Remus sighed with relief as he began his homework again. Sirius and Peter were also working as they had, for once, decided to do their work in advance. James, however, had been dead set against the idea, saying that it was simply 'un-marauder' like (unless you were Remus) to do your homework before the last second. Unfortunately, seeing as the others disagreed, this left him the only one with nothing to do.

"Bored, bored, bored, boooored."

"James…"

"What! I'm just saying…"

"We know! We've been listening to you for the last forty-five minutes!"

"But I'm-!"

"Don't say it!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…bored."

"That's it!" Remus and Sirius yelled at the same time. The two boys began gathering up there things. Peter, a little confused by what was going on, simply followed the other two's lead and got his things as well.

"WE are going to the library so we can actually get something DONE!"

"What!? You can't leave me here!"

"Oh yes we can."

"But I'll be all alone!"

"That's the idea."

"But I get so sad when I'm by myself!" James gave is best pitiful look, but the other's were not swayed.

"We'll be back in a bit James."

"But, but…"

The other three closed the door on James face. He pouted and sat back down on his bed. He looked around the room. It was so empty without the others. It reminded him of a song he heard once…

Meanwhile, the other three had made it all the way to the bottom of the stairs from their dorm when they heard an awful sound coming from their room. It was a sound they had never heard before and hoped never to hear again (although they would soon find out they are not that lucky). It was the sound of James… singing.

At the top. Of his. Lungs.

"ALL BY MYSEEEEELLLLFFFFF!!! DON'T WANNA BE! ALL BY MYSEEEELLLFFFF!!!"

The three Marauders looked at each other before running back into the room. There, they found James lying on his back on his bed, still singing.

"ALL BY MY- oof!"

James was cut off by Sirius sitting on him.

"Gah! Padfoot! Can't! Breath!" Sirius merely grinned.

"That's the idea." Remus shook his head.

"Do us a favor, mate. Never sing again."

James laughed as Sirius finally got off of him, but in his mind, he had just thought of a wonderful way to spice up the Marauders' lives.

The next day, Sirius ad James were running to Potions class. They were late because they had taken too long eating the piles of food at breakfast. By the time they noticed they were the last ones left in the hall, they had ten minutes to run to class.

"Curse Moony and Wormtail for not getting us!"

"Something tells me they tried. It can be hard to get our attention when we're eating…"

"Whatever! Let's just get there already!"

"Right!" A few moments later, Sirius noticed an inconveniently placed puddle on the tile in front of them.

"STOP!" Unfortunately, while Sirius managed to stop, James hadn't heard him in time, causing him to run straight into Sirius' back, causing them both to slip forward in the puddle and down a flight of stairs. Sirius landed with a grunt as James landed on top of him. He was dazed for a moment before trying to lift his head.

"James?" His only response was… a song.

"GRAVITY! IS WORKINGGGG AGAINST MEEEEE!!! AND GRAVI- ah!"

Sirius had sat up in the middle of James' singing, cause him to fall off of Sirius onto the floor.

"JAMES! CLASS!" He blinked a few times before remembering.

"Oh… right…" Sirius just glared at him before continuing his run down the hall, praying that his friend hadn't just made them late(r) to class.

Later that day at lunch, Sirius still wasn't talking to James as they had, in fact, been late to class. As such, James found himself sitting next to Remus at the dining table. They were all eating and chatting as usual. Sirius eventually stopped glaring at James and joined the conversation. Soon, things were going as normal as they could for the Marauders.

However, in the middle of the meal, Peter happened to notice Remus absentmindedly reaching for a silver platter. Not wanting to see his friend hurt, he quickly yelled at him.

"Stop!" Remus immediately froze and, noticing the silver, was about to thank Peter when James decided to pick up where Peter left off…

"IN THE NAAAME OF LOOOOVE!!! BEFORE YOU BREEAAAK MY HEEAAART!!" The three friends (and every other student in the room) were staring at James. Remus blushed furiously as he noticed the raised eyebrows of a few of the students.

"STOP! IN THE NAAA-" Remus quickly threw his hands over James' mouth, who continued his muffled singing through his hands. After giving Sirius and Peter a desperate, pleading look, the three dragged the still-attempting-to-sing boy out of the hall, all three keeping their hands firmly over his mouth.

After finally making it back to the dorm, James burst out laughing as Remus, still slightly red-faced, steadily glared at him. Sirius just shook his head before walking to the other side of the room. James immediately stopped laughing as he watched Sirius pull out a quill. A moment later, James got up to see the newest addition to the list.

13.) Spontaniously bursting out into song at the most inappropriate/ inopportune/ awkward times.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"… I can't really argue that…"

"Nope."

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**Every song used in this chapter is sung by me and friends on a regular basis at home, school, and various social events (so yes, we are insane). And that's just three of them. There are other songs too, but these are just the once used most frequently. XP Which reminds me (again)!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the songs used in this chapter no matter how frequently I sing them.  
**

**Hope you enjoyed! Please review with thoughts, opinions, criticisms, or symptoms (or any combination of the four).  
**


	9. Deck the Halls with Utter CHAOS: pt 1

**Alright, number one of my two Christmas chapters (What? I like Christmas!) I'm uploading them both now cause I'm probably gonna be pretty busy over the holidays so I may or may not get a lot of writing done. Hope you enjoy!

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It was two weeks till Christmas, and the Marauders were casually eating their breakfast in the Great Hall. They were discussing possible plans for the Christmas holidays. Well, three of them were.

For you see, the week before, Remus, James, and Peter, had all received letters telling them that they were to stay at Hogwarts over the break. James and Peters' parents were leaving to visit family, and Remus always stayed for Christmas to give his mother a break from his lycanthropy. Sirius, hearing that his friends were all staying, had written a hopeful letter to his parents asking to stay as well. Now as the other three Marauders talked and joked, Sirius was eagerly and nervously awaiting the reply from his family.

"So, how should we do gifts this year?"

"How about a secret santa?"

"No way! Then we only get one gift each!"

"*sigh* James, have you ever heard the expression, 'it's better to give than to receive'?"

"No, that's preposterous! It's Christmas! It's all about receiving!"

"You've got mixed up morals my friend."

"No, I've got holiday spirit!"

"YES!"

The Marauders, and the rest of the school, looked over to find the source of the yell. What they found was Sirius, jumping up and down, hugging and kissing a letter the others had been too busy to notice he got. James exchanged a glance with the others before turning back to Sirius.

"Uh, Padfoot?" Sirius sat down and gave a James a bone crushing hug.

"James! Sweet, sweet, James! Oh, and Peter and Remus too!" The mentioned marauders soon found themselves in a similar bone crushing hug.

"Sirius…can't…breath…" Once Sirius calmed down enough to notice Remus turning blue, he released his friends and returned to his seat, grinning like a mad man.

"They said yes! I get to stay here for Christmas! That means two less weeks of horrid family, and two more weeks of holiday marauding!" The others ginned as well.

"That's great Padfoot!"

"Now we all get to be together for Christmas!"

"Speaking of which, I believe we were discussing gifts before we were so rudely interrupted"

"Oh right. So I believe that was a 'no' on a secret santa?"

"Duh, you only get one gift each!"

"See! Sirius agrees with me!"

"You guys need to watch some cheesy Christmas movies and learn the true meaning of Christmas!"

"Which is?"

"Uh… I'm not entirely sure. I usually fall asleep before the ending. But I'm pretty sure it's not gifts!"

"Well how would you know? You never saw the endings."

"Oh, forget it! Lets go to class already…"

* * *

Later that day, the Marauders were sitting around a desk in charms, waiting for class to end and continuing their Christmas discussion.

"So, most of the students are leaving on Friday. Do we want to do something before, or after they leave?"

"Before! I need a chance to catch Lilly under the mistletoe!"

"Well if that's the case, definitely after."

"Hey!"

"Come on James, none of us want to spend our Christmas nursing your wounded pride after Evans shoots you down again."

"But what if she DOESN'T shoot me down?"

"Well that really would be a Christmas miracle, now wouldn't it?"

"Ugh, will you two knock it off?"

"He started it…"

"Well, I'm finishing it! Now I say we wait till after everyone leaves and have something with just the four of us."

"I guess that sounds good."

"Yeah, this way we can prank people and not have to worry about people revenging us at a Christmas party!"

"Yeah, that too…"

At that point, class ended and the four friends ran out, excited with their plans for the holidays.

* * *

That Friday, Hogwarts was surprisingly silent. The school was practically empty as most of the students had left earlier that morning. Most of the teachers were happy to have a few weeks of peace, however there were still those wary of the fact that the four most troublesome students were staying for the break. In fact, one Professor McGonagall couldn't help but be suspicious when she saw James, Remus, and Peter each carrying a large box too big for them to see over, being led by Sirius through the halls.

"Alight, now a little to the left. Careful… careful… Peter you're getting a little close to Remus there… Careful! Careful!" Sirius yelled as Peter almost ran into James and drop both their boxes. McGonagall watched as they slowly made their way up the stairs. Deciding no good could come from this, she quickly slipped out of her office to follow them.

By the time she reached the Gryffindor common room, the four boys were already inside. She slowed her pace to listen to a bit of their conversation.

"Now be careful, these have been in storage for a while."

"What'll happen if we drop them?"

"I don't know, and I don't care to find out."

"Hey Peter, where did you say you found these?"

"Uh, Aaron, that kid from Transfiguration, showed me the ones in the closet, and Peeves showed me that one."

"…"

"…"

"….Peeves."

"Uh, y-yes?"

"Alright James, now I want you to stay calm."

"Calm? CALM!? I could be holding my death in my arms and you want me to be CALM!?!!"

"He's right. Panicking makes much more sense."

"Guys, just chill! James, just, don't move…" At this point, McGonagall decided it was time to step in. Quickly reciting the password, she stepped into the common room. There, she saw Sirius, Remus and Peter (who had put their boxes down) standing around James, who was standing and holding his box as far from him as he could (which wasn't very far) and shaking in the middle of the room.

"What's going on here?" It all happened very quickly. Startled at hearing the Professors voice and already on edge, James yelped and dropped his box. Even as it was falling, Sirius and Peter were jumping behind the couch behind them and Remus dove behind the large chair in front of the fireplace. McGonagall, not sure what to do, stay rooted to the spot. As the box hit the ground, they were all shocked as… nothing happened. The three Marauders peeked their heads out from behind their hiding places.

"Uh, false alarm?" However, just as Remus said this, the box began to shake, sending the three back behind their shields. At that moment, dozens of what looked like tiny fireworks ripped out of the box and flew around the room. But instead of erupting into lights, some exploded into bursts of red, green and white paint while others spewed glitter across the room. McGonagall and James, who hadn't moved through the entire event, found themselves covered in the Christmas paint and glitter.

As the chaos ended, the other three reemerged. They, too, had been hit by the blasts of color and sparkles, but only in small amounts as opposed to the two figures in the center of the room, that no longer even looked human so much as giant sparkling masses of color.

James slowly raised his arms and wiped the paint from his eyes. He looked at the room to survey the damage. It was then that he noticed Professor McGonagall standing in the room, also covered in paint.

She too was admiring Peeves' handiwork. She looked over to see the Marauders all staring at her, waiting for her to do something (punish them most likely). She merely smiled and pulled out her wand. She cleaned herself first, then turned to the rest of the room and swished and flicked her wand till the room was spotless. Soon, James was the only thing in the room still covered in the remains of the mishap.

"Uh, Professor?" She turned to see Remus looking at her, waiting for some sort of punishment. She saw the others expecting the same and smiled again.

"Yes, Mr. Lupin?"

"Uh, are we in trouble?"

"Why would you be?"

"Well…" He gestured to the room.

"Well, it was an accident. And it was cleaned easily enough. Although I must ask what you were doing with all these?" She pointed to the other three boxes. Sirius grinned and opened the boxes to reveal a plethora of Christmas decorations.

"We were gonna decorate the common room. Guess peeves figured out a faster way." McGonagall nodded.

"Yes, well I'm afraid you'll have to do it the slow way." She smiled and nodded at the now clean room.

"So, we're not in trouble?"

"Consider it an early Christmas gift boys. Enjoy the rest of your break." She turned and was about to leave when James cried out.

"Wait! What about me!?" McGonagall turned back to look at James who was still covered head to toe in paint and glitter and had a half pleading half hopeful look in his eyes. The Professor smirked.

"Merry Christmas Mr. Potter." And with that, she was gone.

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Half an hour later found Sirius sitting on his bed, rummaging through the Christmas decorations, Remus on his bed reading, and Peter on the floor writing a letter to is mum. In the corner of the room next to the bathroom, lay James' robes which, after careful inspection, they had discovered had been _completely_ (as in, not a single spot untouched) covered in Christmas colors and glitter. Behind the bathroom door, one could hear the water running and, if you listened carefully, a steady string of curses directed at a certain poltergeist. And, on a certain piece of parchment, one would find ink, not even dried yet.

14.) Accepting ANYTHING from Peeves! _Especially_ strange packages, and then handing them off to your FRIENDS!(because said friends may try to kill you).

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**Well, I hope you liked it! Please review! It's good for the soul!**


	10. Deck the Halls with Utter CHAOS: pt 2

**Christmas Chapter number 2! WOOT! I know this one is shorter than the last one, but what can ya do? Hope you enjoy!

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"So, I think we've all learned a valuable lesson." Remus said as James finished drying his hair from his two hour shower. James glared at Peter, who gulped.

"Y-yeah. Lesson l-l-learned." Sirius clapped his hands together.

"Great! Now that Peter is smarter and James is the color he's suppose to be, let's start decorating!" Remus smiled.

"Right. Now, we still have a couple more boxes down in the storage closet that we know are untampered with, so I suggest that Sirius stays here and starts putting things up while we get the rest." The other two nodded, but Sirius looked almost horrified.

"What?! I can't decorate without you guys! I don't even know what to do with this stuff!" Sirius gestured to the boxes while the others gave him weird looks.

"What do you mean, 'you don't know what to do with this stuff'?"

"Well, my family never decorated our house before, and I never really went to other peoples' houses and even when I did the stuff was already up." The other three exchanged looks.

"Wait… you're serious?" Sirius rolled his eyes.

"I'm going to ignore the very obvious pun there and just say, yeah. Like," Sirius fished through the box and pulled out a handful of tinsel, holding it out to the others. "what the heck is this stuff?" There was silence as the others thought about how to respond. Finally James just shook his head.

"You know what, you can figure it out Padfoot. You just… get started while we get the rest and then we'll help."

"But-!"

"Don't worry about it!"

"But I-!"

"We have faith in you!" And with that, the three left Sirius alone, still holding the handful of tinsel. He looked at it before tossing it aside.

He sighed. He might as well try to figure some of this out. He sat down cross-legged and began going through the box again. After looking through it for a few minutes, he decided to simply turn the box upside down so he could see everything at once. He looked at the pile of stuff in front of him.

_Alright, I've got a big pile of that weird, silvery, string stuff. A big circular bush thing, a long shiny gold thing… Christmas lights, at least I kinda know what those are… WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSE TO DO WITH ALL THIS!?!!_

He growled in frustration, raking his hands through his hair. He glanced at everything again. _Huh. Some of this stuff looks like it could be…_A plan started forming. He knew he was doing this wrong, but right now he didn't care. If he was going to do it wrong anyway, he would do it wrong… with _style_!

* * *

A little while later, the other three Marauders returned to the room. Remus grunted as he put his box down. James came in behind him and Peter came last.

"Well, that was all of it."

"Right. And Peeves didn't get to any of this so we should be good."

"Right. Hey, where's Sirius?"

"You called?" Remus turned to where he had heard his friend's voice and his jaw dropped. James, who looked up just as Remus had, immediately proceeded to fall over the box he had just put down on the floor. Peter meanwhile simply dropped his box, the contents spilling over as he opened and closed his mouth. Sirius had slid down the railing of the stairs from their dorm and was now skipping towards them.

"You like my decorating?" Sirius was now standing before them in a corny model pose. He had a tinsel covering the top of his head like a silvery wig with his natural black hair showing like highlights and a Santa hat on top. He had two red ornaments hanging from his ears like earrings and a gold garland wrapped around his neck like an old fashioned boa. There were red, green, and blue Christmas lights wrapped around both arms from him wrists to his shoulders and had been charmed to blink like they would if they were plugged in. Around his waist was a large wreath like a belt and bells tied onto his shoes.

Sirius grinned even wider as he looked at his friends. James was still on the ground, Remus looked like his eyes were about to pop out of his head, Peter kept blinking, like he was trying to wake up from a dream, and all three were opening and closing their mouths like a bunch of fish.

"You… you know that's not… how they're _suppose_ to go… right?"

"Oh Really…" Sirius smiled and skipped up to Remus. He picked up a silver garland off the floor and drapped it around Remus' neck, much like his own.

"Could've fooled me." He gave Remus a wink before turning to the other two.

"Come now, where's your Christmas spirit?" At that moment, they finally seemed to snap out of it and began laughing. Within moments, it turned into an all out battle, the four friends battling to decorate each other with the piles of decorations. They were chucking tinsel and throwing the wreaths at each other like a ring toss and tying each other up with garland. There was much laughter and soon they were all on a heap on the floor surrounded by Christmas supplies, hardly able to breath.

That night, the Marauders went to bed. James, Remus, and Peter smiled as Sirius refused to take the tinsel out of his hair, stating that he "liked it that way". They all thought they were going to teach him about Christmas, but really he had taught them. Who cares if the decorations were used properly or not? At some point, they would teach Sirius how to decorate the traditional way, how the decorations were really suppose to be used. But for now, it didn't matter. This was the _Marauder_ way now.

Regardless, there was still a new item on a certain list on the wall…

15.) WEARING the Christmas decorations (even if they do look better that way).

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**Well, there you have it! Please let me know what you think! HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!**

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	11. CAUTION: Idiots!

**Hey! Sorry this chapter took so long, but the holidays were kinda hectic. Although (and I have no idea how this happened) this is actually the longest chapter so far. Also, a word of warning, I'm planning on working on some other stories as well soon. So if you see any of them, it doesn't mean I've _stopped_ working on this one. It just means I'm good at multi-tasking. ;) The next chapter shouldn't take as long though. Hope you enjoy!

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The week started off so perfectly normal, one Remus Lupin couldn't help but foolishly hope it would stay that way. But alas, it was not to be. But what could you expect when you're a member of the famous Marauders?

This particular "normal week" began in the stands of the Quidditch pitch. There was no game going on, but James had dragged his three friends with him to practice and once it was over, they had decided to just stay seeing as they had nothing better to do. Remus had a book open in his lap, reading and grinding his teeth as he listened to his friends complain for the millionth time…

"I'm boooored…"

"Me tooooo…."

"Should we go back to the common room?"

"Naw, it's too far away."

"But there's nothing to do here!"

"Nothing to do in the common room either."

"Hm. Good point." Remus twitched a little and sent a glare in his friends' direction. James picked up on the werewolf's steadily declining good mood, so decided to get himself out of harms way.

"Uh, come on guys! Lets fly around a bit." The other two merely shrugged and mounted their brooms and flew away, leaving Remus to sigh in relief at the peace and quiet. About twenty minutes later, Remus had finished quite a few chapters and decided to spare a glance up to see what his friends were doing. He quickly wished he hadn't.

You see, what he found when he looked up was Sirius hanging upside-down over the side of his broom, his knees keeping him from falling; James standing on his broom, similar to a surfer and holding on to Sirius' hands above him. Both of them were shouting at a poor nervous Peter (the only one who was properly on his broom) to throw the quaffle he was holding through the ring their arms made.

Remus just about had a heart attack. It was no secret that Peter Pettigrew could not throw to save his life (or in this case, his friends'). This was the entire reason he was hesitating to give in to his friends' request. If he tried to throw it through their arms, it would probably hit either Sirius' face or James' stomach, either of which would cause both to fall a significant distance probably to their deaths.

Dropping his book, Remus jumped to his feet and ran to the edge of the stands. Being a reasonable person, he was mildly freaking out at the prospect of his friends getting themselves killed.

"JAMES! SIRIUS! WHAT ARE YOU **DOING**!?!!" The two over at him and grinned.

"We're being a human goal! Cool, huh?"

"Cool!? Were you two listening at ALL during flying lessons first year? You're suppose to grip the broom with BOTH HANDS!!" James rolled his eyes.

"Oh come on Moony, Quidditch players use one hand all the time!"

"Fine! One hand! Right now I'd be **happy **with one hand, seeing as you are both currently using NO HANDS!!" The two boys sighed and flew over to Remus together (still in their "human goal" position).

"But we're fine!"

"Sure you are _now_. But you were both egging on _Peter_ to throw a quaffle at you!"

"Hm… he makes a good argument." Remus sighed and ran his hand over his face.

"Just… get down please."

Walking back to the common room ten minutes later, Remus still hadn't regained all the color in his face.

"I don't even want to know what was going through your heads…"

"We were bored!"

"…of course…"

* * *

It was the next day, lunch had just ended and the Marauders were standing outside the Ravenclaw common room. Remus turned to his friends with a sigh.

"Look, I'll only be in there for a couple minutes. I just need to talk to Kevin about the group project on Wednesday. So just stay her and _try_ to stay out of trouble, ok?" Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Moony, you worry too much. We'll be fine!" Remus shook his head doubtfully, but knocked on the door none-the-less.

A good fifteen seconds after Remus had been let in found James and Sirius having a very familiar conversation.

"I'm booored."

"Me toooo." Sirius looked around before grinning at James.

"Hey, watch this!" Looking both ways to make sure their were no professors coming, he turned and started jogging down the hall way. After a moment, he pointed his wand at the floor directly in front of him.

"Aguamenti!" Immediately, a jet of water was released from his wand and James and Peter looked on as he slid across the floor, balancing on his heels and looking undeniably very cool. Once he ended the spell and came to a stop, he turned back around, grinning at his two friends, who were grinning back.

"Wicked!"

"That was awesome, Padfoot!"

"Let me try!" James ran forward towards Sirius and pointed his wand down at the floor.

"Aguamenti!" Unfortunately, James pointed the want too close to his feet and only managed to soak his shoes and trip himself up, falling forward and barely managing to catch himself. Sirius laughed and helped him up.

"Good effort though."

"Ah, shut up!"

"Come on, Peter! Give it a try!"

"N-no thanks. I'll just watch from back here." The three laughed before James insisted on having another go. He managed to get it, although he didn't look as graceful or cool as Sirius. Soon, a small crowd had gathered to watch the two Marauders sliding across down the hallway. James suddenly got a mad grin.

"Hey Padfoot! Wanna race?" Soon, Sirius was wearing the same grin and they ran to the end of the hallway. The crowd got very excited at the prospect of a competition and soon Peter was surrounded by people, taking bets on who would win. A Ravenclaw boy, who had gotten caught up in the game on his way back to his common room, was chosen to start the match.

"Alright! On the count of three…" James and Sirius were grinning like Cheshire cats as the prepared to run.

"One…two….three!" And the two boys were off their wands soaking the floor in front of them as they slid down the hall. They were neck in neck, each trying to gain the upper hand as the crowd cheered them on. It was at this moment that Remus chose to reemerge. For the second time that week, he found himself paling at the sight of his friends. The two weren't even looking where they were going any more. They were just grinning at each other, going faster and faster, not even seeing what was right in front of them.

"PADFOOT! PRONGS! LOOK OUT FOR THE-" But it was too late, as the two boys looked up just in time to watch themselves slid right down a flight of stairs. Now normally this, while probably painful, would not worry Remus too much as they tended to fall down the stairs a lot. What _did_ worry him was the fact that the second flight of stairs, which James' body was about to push Sirius into, had just moved, leaving nothing but empty air. Remus watched in slow motion as Sirius hit the landing of the first flight of stairs, soon followed by James who crashed into him sending him over the edge where the stairs _would_ have been had they not been magical stairs.

They entire crowd gasped as Sirius began to fall. However, he somehow managed in his disgruntled state to reach out and grab the banister before he fell to his death. Remus immediately pushed through the crowd and ran down to his friends. James had hit his head and, while still conscious, was not coherent enough to realize the danger his friend was in. Remus quickly reached out and grabbed both of Sirius' wrists and pulled with all his might. In a moment, both his friends were groaning on the floor while Remus was panting from the strain of lifting his friend out of the air. After getting his breath back, Remus sighed and turned to the crowd.

"Someone wanna help me get them to the hospital wing?"

Half an hour later, Remus was standing in front of two hospital beds. One held Sirius, who had managed to crack two ribs in the fall and bruise his back in the landing. The other held James, who had a mild concussion and a few bruises. The two had had to be half dragged to Madam Pomfry by himself, and a Ravenclaw Prefect. Now, Remus was pacing in front of the two.

"I was gone for ten minutes. TEN! And you two go and throw yourselves down the bloody stairs!"

"We were bored!"

"ARG!" Remus, looking like he was about to tear his hair out, simply stormed from the room. The two idiots- I mean, Marauders, were still grinning through the pain. Once outside, he ran into Peter.

"Wormtail! Were've you been?" Peter grinned and held up a large sac, jingling with money.

"Collecting my winnings."

* * *

The next night Remus, James, and Peter were sitting in their dorm room when Sirius burst in, holding a weird black box thing in his arms.

"Hey guys! Guess what I got!"

"What?"

"Dave, that fourth year, got this from his muggle cousin and didn't know what to do with it so he said I could have it! Apparently it's called an x-box, or something like that."

"Well, what is it exactly?"

"Uh, I'm not entirely sure…"

"So what are you going to do with it then?" Sirius simple shrugged before placing it on his bed to look at more. Remus shrugged as well before getting up.

"Well, I've got to get a book from the library for this charms homework. I'll be back in a couple minutes, k?" The others nodded and Remus left to get his book.

Fifteen minutes later, Remus opened the door to his room. He immediately dropped the book he had gotten and, for the THIRD time, lost all color.

"Remus! It's not what it looks like!"

"Well, it probably is…"

"Er… it's not what you think?"

"No, he's probably got a pretty good idea." Remus was still staring at the scene in front of him. James had many ropes around him, tying him to a chair. The 'x-box' or whatever had been torn open and had many wires sticking out, sending sparks of electricity out. Sirius was holding two of these wires in his hand, holding them in front of James so the sparks were mere centimeters away from James' body. Peter was sitting on his bed, his face a mixture of curiosity and nervousness. Sirius quickly dropped the wires and he and James began explaining.

"You see-"

"we were bored-"

"So we opened up the weird box thing-"

"and it had all these wires in it-"

"that were sparking!"

"And one of them shocked me-"

"And he said it had hurt-"

"So we were wondering-"

"if it hurt more than that shocking spell-"

"but James is the only one who's been hit by it recently enough to compare-"

"darn those Slytherins!"

"But then he started getting cold feet-"

"Cause those shocking spells hurt!"

"But he had already agreed to it and I wasn't about to let him just back out!"

"Admittedly it would be un-Marauder like."

"So I tied him to this chair!"

"And then you walked in…"

"And got really…pale…"

"Amd haven't…said…anything…."

"…"

"…"

"…"

Remus sighed and walked silently over to the parchment on the wall.

16.) Almost getting yourself killed on a **regular basis** out of BOREDOME!!!

Putting his quill down, Remus walked over to his bed and fell into it, his arm covering his eyes. Sirius chuckled as he looked at the list.

"How on Earth did we become friends."

"I don't know, but I'm starting to regret it. You two are going to send me to an early grave!"

"Awww, Moony cares!"

"Please, maybe next time I'll let you two kill yourselves, if only to save me anymore stress!"

"You know you love us."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…yeah…"

"Told you so."

* * *

**Ok, so this is another chapter sorta taken from my life (not the actual instances though, obviously. I don't have a flying broomstick, moving stairs, or an x-box). I actually tend to be the Remus of my group cause I always worry about my friends cause they're idiots when they're bored. Anyway, please review! And any suggestions for symptoms would be much appreciated! Thanks!**


	12. It's raining, it's pouring

**Wow, this chapter is coming much sooner than I expected. You see, I was working on a different story, but I was in a really good mood and it was too angsty to write at the time. So I wanted to write something fun, so you all get this chapter! Yay! This was inspired by a suggestion that reminded me of another insane thing I do. Hope you enjoy!

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**

It was quiet. Which was weird, but not unappreciated by Remus, who was once again attempting to read his book, and James, who was attempting to finish his charms homework. They were sitting by the fire in the Gryfindor common room which was relatively empty despite it already being after dinner and being pretty cold outside. Again, weird but they weren't about to complain about it.

Remus was enjoying the peace when he frowned slightly._ What was that?_ His heightened werewolf hearing just heard something. He heard it again and his head jerked up. James looked up at him quizzically.

"Remus? What's-"

"Shhh! Listen…" They both stayed silent and listened. Then they both heard it.

Thunder.

James paled slightly. "Ooooh no. Oh no no no!" Remus too looked slightly worried.

"Well, maybe it's _just _thunder…" But this idea was quickly crushed as they hear the steady _pitter-patter_ of rain against the window. The two Marauders leaped to their feet, homework and book forgotten.

"Where is he?"

"I think he was going to go outside for awhile…"

"Well if he's already out there, maybe he'll forget about us?"

"Come on, let's check the Map." They nodded at each other and were about to go to retrieve the map when Peter burst into the room, panting and with a slightly panicked look on his face.

"Wormtail!" Still gasping for breath, Peter turned to his two friends.

"He's coming! He's on his way right now! I just barely lost him in the hall…"

"Come on! Let's get back to our room! Maybe we can lock him out!" The three immediately ran up the stairs, taking two at a time and threw themselves into their dorm room. Remus quickly went to work placing as many locking charms as he knew on the door before James pushed a chair against the door knob, just for good measure.

"Ok, do you think we'll be safe?"

"I don't know Moony. We just have to wait." And wait they did, but not for long. After a few minutes, they heard the sound of the common room door being opened and closed loudly. They listened as loud, heavy footsteps came thundering up the stairs. There was a large thud as something hit the door. There was a series of thuds against the door, seeming to shake the room as the three boys held their breath.

Thud.

Thud.

Thud.

There was silence. Suddenly, the door seemed to glow lightly. Another moment of silence before the door knob turned bright red and exploded, throwing the door open and blasting the chair back into a wall. James, Peter, and Remus watched in horror as the dust settled and a tall, soaking wet figure stood before them, grinning like a mad man and loudly announcing his presence.

"PADFOOT'S HERE!!!"

"NOOOO!!!!" The three tried desperately to split up, scattering to try to avoid the dripping Sirius Black.

But alas, it was all in vain. He got peter first, pointing his wand at him and shouting "Wingardium Leviosa!" leaving the chubby boy floating in midair. James was next. He tried to run past through the door, but Sirius saw him and bent over slightly, causing James to run into his friend, his stomach hitting his shoulder. Suddenly, Sirius straightened out, using James' momentum to throw him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Remus was last and the least difficult. Being the lightest of the group, Sirius found it easy to grab his friend and hold him under his arms like he was nothing.

All three were complaining loudly as Sirius carried them out of the common room and began making his way outside, Peter floating behind them.

"Padfoot, you do this every time it rains! Can't you give it a rest?"

"I would, but A.) what would be the fun in that? And B.) you three always end up enjoying yourselves anyway. Don't even try to deny it." And they didn't. This was one of those things that was fun once you got there, but you need some one to drag you there first. Or carry you in this case. Speaking of which,

"Sirius, I'm like three inches taller than you and ten pounds heavier. How are you carrying me!?"

"Please, Prongs, I'm a beater! I'm much stronger than I look." James merely groaned before falling silent. Soon enough, they were outside, soaking almost as soon as they stepped outside of the castle. Sirius unceremoniously dropped his three friends, landing in puddles of mud.

"Gah! Padfoot it's freezing!" Sirius rolled his eyes.

"You know, you guys complain too much."

"Excuse us for complaining about being dragged outside in the freezing rain!"

"I would accept that if this was the first time I've done this. I stand by, you know you enjoy it." The three glared at Sirius' grin, only causing him to roll his eyes again.

"Come on, haven't you ever heard the express on 'it's not about surviving the storm, it's about learning to dance in the rain'?"

"Yes, but you're a terrible dancer."

"Oh really now?"

"Yes rea-" James was cut off as Sirius yanked him to his feet and began dancing and spinning through the rain with him. James tried to break free when Sirius began doing the tango with him, but he hadn't been kidding when he said he was stronger than he looked. After a moment, Sirius released one of James' arms to pull out his wand, casting a spell causing music to play before he began spinning with James again.

(AN: When I wrote this, I imagined Australia by The Shins playing here. But when I re-read it, I imagined All Star by Smash Mouth. But it's not relevant to the story, so just imagine whatever you want. XD)

Sirius began spinning, faster and faster, still holding onto James' arms.

"Ah! Padfoot! Let me go!" Sirius grinned at his friend's poor word choice.

"Alright. Since you asked so nicely…" Sirius released James while still spinning, causing him to go flying backwards into a rather large puddle. He stood up slowly and scowled as his three friends laughed at him. Looking around, he grinned and grabbed a handful of mud and chucked it at the back of Sirius' head.

For a moment, Sirius was shocked, but them he just laughed more and picked up his own handful of mud and throwing it at James. They battled for a moment before turning to their two, mud-free, laughing friends. They exchanged a devious grin before each filling their hands with mud and attacking the remaining two Marauders. Soon, All four were laughing amidst a flurry of flying mud and grass. Sirius was the hardest to get a good hit, cause he kept skipping and dancing around the other three, throwing in the occasional cartwheel now and then. However, they were still all equally dirty.

The battle died down a bit, mud still being thrown sporadically, but now they were running around, dancing and skipping like Sirius, jumping into puddles to see who could make the biggest splash, and letting their mouths hand open to catch the fat drops of water falling from the sky.

Lily shook her head at the sight in front of her. She had been sent by Professor McGonagall to retrieve the Marauders, as it was nearing curfew. Which brought her here. Standing under an umbrella and staring at the four boys. Sirius had pinned Peter on the ground and was alternating tickling him and rubbing mud in his face and hair. Remus and James were holding hands, spinning much like Sirius had done with James earlier, and jumping up and down in a giant puddle. All four were laughing like their lungs would burst.

Sighing, Lily lifted two fingers to her lips and let out a loud, shrill whistle, silencing the boys immediately. James and Remus, seeing the red head, immediately pulled their hands back and blushed slightly.

"McGonagall wanted me to tell you to come inside, it's almost curfew." She was about to turn around, but could help but shake her head and give a small grin.

"Honestly. Running and dancing around like that is childish enough. But in this weather? It just... insane!" There was silence for a moment as the Marauders looked at each other. Suddenly, they started laughing even harder than before (which Lily hadn't thought possible) and ran past her back into the castle (though James did pause for a moment to give a small polite bow.)(Which really just looked ridiculous considering his soaking, muddy appearance). Shaking her head again, still slightly confused by what had just happened, she began walking back inside. _Was it something I said?_

Meanwhile, the four boys were running through the halls, still laughing and completely ignoring the fact that Filch was going to skin them alive later for tracking so much mud into the castle. Soon enough, they burst into the common, now much fuller than when they had left. The entire room looked up to stare at the four hysterically laughing, soaking wet, muddy boys that ran past them into their dorm. Many just shook their heads. By now, they really shouldn't be surprised any more. And yet every day…

The boys entered the room and began fighting to get to the front of the parchment, each holding his own quill and trying to write at the same time. The result was a four letter sentence, each word in a different handwriting.

17.) **Dancing** in the _rain_.

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**And there it is! i actually did this with a friend of mine once. She actually called me at my house and was like "Hey! Want to come to my house and play in the rain!?" And I was like "Heck Yes!" And we spent an hour and a half in the rain and by some miracle managed not to get sick. But it was so much fun and I totally want to do it again!**

**But enough of my reminiscing, hope you enjoyed! Please review! You've all been so wonderful so far! Thanks a million!  
**


	13. Why are we friends again?

**Hey everyone! I am SOOOO sorry this chapter took so long! My life had been taken over by final exams and the SAT. XP I've been working on this in between my hysterical studying. Tomorrow, exams start and then I've got that pesky SAT, so wish me luck! Also, obviously, due to these tests my next update might take a bit (although hopefully not nearly as long as this one took). After that, the updates should become more regular. **

**Now, for this chapter, it's sorta half serious, half funny, so do with it what you will! **

**Also! A note to Princess Ducky: I know I said I would use your suggestion, but I started it like, three times, and it just wasn't working. I still want to use it! It'll just be in a later chapter when my brain decides to cooperate. **

**Hope you all enjoy!

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**

Remus awoke to darkness.

Oh wait…

His eyes were closed so that doesn't count.

Opening his eyes a crack, he was met with light that normally wouldn't have been that bad, but this morning was blinding. He squeezed his eyes shut with a hiss. He then waited a minute before once again attempting to open his eyes. Blinking rapidly, his vision slowly adjusted to the room that had seemed a lot brighter when he first awoke. It took his groggy mind a minute to remember where he was.

The shrieking shack. His monthly getaway to go through his painful werewolf transformations. He sighed before easing himself into a sitting position. He first inspected his surroundings, but the shack was such a mess it was hard to tell the old damage from the new. Next, he turned to himself. He had a few scratches and bruises, but nothing too bad. Nothing compared to what it had been like before his friends had been there to keep him company. He could never remember the nights spent with the Marauders, not fully at least, but they kept the wolf occupied and stopped him from hurting himself and he would be eternally grateful for that.

However, despite the minimal damage, he was still incredibly sore and had a splitting headache from the actual transformation. Seeing it was getting later in the morning and knowing that madam Pomfrey would be here soon, he carefully lifted himself off the floor and made his way over to the corner where he had left his clothes the night before.

Madam Pomfrey arrived a few minutes later to find Remus straightening his robes, waiting for her. She gave him a comforting smile. The boy went through too much.

"Hello dear."

"Good morning Madam Pomfrey."

"How are you this morning?"

"Alright. No major wounds. I'm just sore and tired." The nurse nodded before helping Remus through the tunnel back to Hogwarts. After a brief check up to make sure the werewolf wasn't lying about being hurt, she sent him off with orders to rest for the remainder of the day. Remus had barely made it out the door before he found himself surrounded by three figures, who joined him in his walking.

"Hey Moony!"

"How you feeling?"

"We didn't beat you up too badly did we?" No matter how often it happened, Remus was always startled at the bombardment of questions about his wellbeing. He couldn't help but smile as he thought about how he had always feared being rejected and hated for his lycanthropy, and yet here were three boys who had never abandoned him.

"Guys, I'm fine. Just a little sore is all." James nodded.

"Well good! Cause Sirius and I have this idea for a prank next week…" The rest of the walk was filled with James and Sirius going into great detail of how they wanted to use a sticking charm to stick Snape to the ceiling of the charms classroom the day the first years were to learn _wingardium leviosa _with the occasional comment from Peter about what a great idea he thought it was.

Soon, the four boys were back in their dorm room. Remus sighed and fell back onto his bed. He smiled as James and Sirius argued over something or another which inevitably led to a small wrestling match on the floor of the room. However, mere moments later found the two standing and laughing, not really sure why or at what, but enjoying their morning. Unfortunately James, in his distraction, gave Sirius a light punch on his right arm, resulting in Sirius letting out a loud yelp of pain and clutching his arm.

"Oh! Padfoot I'm so sorry! I completely forgot…!"

"Forgot what?" Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs looked over to see their forth friend sitting up in bed and staring at them. They had apparently forgotten he was there.

"Well-"

"Uh-"

"You see-"

"It's quite simple, really-"

"It's just, uh-"

"just-"

"WOMPING WILLOW!!!" Three sets of eyes turned to look at a nervous Peter who had shouted out the first thing that had come to mind and interrupted James and Sirius' ramblings. The two immediately picked up on his train of though and continued.

"Right! We were going to the tunnel-"

"as usual-"

"and Wormtail was going to still the tree-"

"but before he got there-"

"I sneezed-"

"and he took a step forward-"

"and got too close to the tree-"

"and WHAM! Right in the shoulder!"

"But it wasn't too bad at the time-"

"So we forgot about it till now."

"But it's still not that bad, so there's nothing to worry about!"

"Right!" The two Marauders seemed quite proud of their story until they saw Remus, standing with his arms crossed, one eyebrow raised, and a completely unbelieving look in his eyes.

"…The willow."

"Er-yes."

"So, in that case, you don't mind me taking a look?" He said, pointing to the arm Sirius was still clutching lightly. The other three knew they were caught. If they didn't show him, he would know it wasn't from the willow. If they did show him, he would know it wasn't from the willow. Check mate.

Sirius sighed before lifting his sleeve to expose his upper arm. Remus' eyes widened, though he tried to hide it. There on his best friend's arm, were three jagged claw marks. They looked deep and were surrounded by dried blood, making them look all the more gruesome. And what made it worse, was Remus knew exactly what had made them. He slowly let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding before carefully lifting his wand from his bedside table. He mumbled a quick spell and soon Sirius' arm was healed, leaving only the blood dried onto his arm as a reminder. Remus had always been good at healing spells, since he use to use them on himself all the time. The others didn't know as much, so the wound probably would have had to heal on its own if Remus hadn't discovered it.

Unfortunately, using the extra magic just made Remus even more exhausted than before, causing him to heave a sigh and sit back down on the bed. The other three were left shuffling awkwardly on their feet. Sirius spoke first.

"Er-thanks Moony."

"It's fine. It was my fault anyway…"

"_No_ it wasn't! You know you can't control anything on the full moon!"

"Yeah, I guess…" They knew he didn't agree with them, but there wasn't much they could do now.

"Well, we'll see you when we bring you lunch, ok?"

"Sure." And with that, they left the werewolf alone with his thoughts.

Remus felt guilty. The others always told him he shouldn't, but he did. Even if he couldn't control himself on the full moon, he still shouldn't have gotten the others involved with this. He should have just kept to himself like he had planned, he shouldn't have sucked them into his cursed life.

It wasn't that he wasn't grateful for everything they had done for him, he was! But sometimes he wondered if it was worth risking his friends' safety every time he went through a transformation. He would never understand why they had even stayed friends with him. They knew about werewolves. They had learned about them, heard all the ghastly stories. They must be…

He was so tired, he had no idea how he managed to leave his bead, let alone walk across the room. A few minutes later, he was lying on the bed again, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. He pushed them back and closed his eyes to finally sleep, the parchment on the wall playing behind his eyelids.

18.) Befriending a werewolf.

* * *

Remus opened his eyes for the second time that day. The light didn't seem as harsh this time, though his head still throbbed behind his eyelids. He looked at his bedside and saw a plate filled with meat and chocolate (separately. not like chocolate covered meat or anything. XD) his favorites after the full moon. He gave a small smile and began nibbling on a chocolate bar. His smile fell a little when he looked at the list on the wall and recalled his previous thoughts. But then he noticed something else… The list seemed... longer... than when he went to sleep. Still chewing on the chocolate, Remus stood and walked to the opposite wall. His chocolate fell to the floor as he saw the newest additions to the list.

19.) Befriending a Quidditch-obsessed, love-sick puppy who can't even keep his hair flat.

20.) Befriending a walking bully-magnet who can't even take a spelling test without hyperventilating.

21.) Befriending an egotistical, pranking-machine who seems to be in a constant state of sugar-high.

Remus stared at the list for a few minutes, his mouth hanging open. After re-reading it a few times, though, a small smile crept onto his face. His head was now filled with particular instances throughout the Marauders' friendship in which each of those descriptions applied. He let out a chuckle. Then a small laugh.

Within moments, he was doubled-over with laughter at the memories of James, following poor Lily around trying to impress her with his knowledge of Quidditch and ranting at every meal about the best teams and spending twenty minutes each morning trying to keep his hair from flying off his head and never succeeding. And Peter, constantly hiding behind James and Sirius as the Slytherins just seemed to _know_ where he was at all times and how he always needed Remus to help him study for even the simplest quizzes and even then he'd have a panic attack. And of Sirius, who always entered a room like he owned the place, and flirted with girls like he was God's gift to the female race and could whip up a hex in the blink of an eye and could never sit still for longer than thirty seconds, if that.

Half and hour later, when the other three Marauders returned from classes, they found Remus, once again asleep, but this time with a grin on his face, his dreams filled with happy memories and all the reasons they had become friends.

* * *

**And there you have it! I found Sirius the hardest to come up with stuff for the list, probably cause he's my favorite so I have trouble saying bad things about him. XP Hope you liked it and please review!**


	14. Battle of the Box

**Hey! I'm sorry again, for the long wait. It was a combination of school and writer's block. Any who, this is yet another chapter taken from my life. You know, I'm starting to wonder if I should be worried by how many of these symptoms are from my life... Well, hope you enjoy!

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Professor Minerva McGonagall had seen many things in her life.

She had seen Albus Dumbledore's eyes light up the first time he tried a lemon drop. She had seen Hagrid break down in tears when he was offered the job as Hogwarts Game Keeper. She had seen a countless number of students come and grow up only to leave and enter the adult world. She had seen bullies and loners and cliques of all kinds. She had seen enough that little surprised her any more.

Except, of course, the Marauders. They never ceased to stop her in her tracks. Like right now, for instance…

The Professor had just been returning to her office to finish grading some exams. It was probably around 6 'o' clock or so and though it was still relatively early, she had expected most of the school to have returned to their common rooms by now. However, when she turned the corner, she was immediately halted by the sight of the four infamous Marauders (yes, even Remus) sitting in the middle of the hall, surrounding a large cardboard box. And as if this wasn't strange enough, all four were glaring at said box as if they were trying to burn a hole through it.

McGonagall was speechless for a few moments as she debated what to do. Did she quietly back away? Get one of the Prefects to deal with it? Question them herself? Did she even really want to know?

Sighing, she decided she had best find out what was going on as the circle of boys hadn't moved at all in the past few minutes (which was really saying something, especially as Sirius was among them). Taking a few steps forward, she loudly cleared her throat, causing all four Gryffindors to whip their heads around at her.

"And what, pray tell, are you boys doing?" She questioned. James scowled, but it was directed more at the box than her.

"We're teaching this hunk of cardboard a lesson!" This caused a raised eyebrow from their teacher.

"…The box?"

"Yes." McGonagall sighed.

"I know I'm going to regret asking this but, why?" The Marauders shared a look.

"Well…."

FLASHBACK

(Earlier that day…)

Remus and Sirius were sitting on Remus' bed with Peter beneath them on the floor. The three were watching as James paced the room looking more and more like he was simply running in circles. The messy-haired boy was in a mild panic because there were only two more quidditch practices left until their match against Ravenclaw on Saturday. They had to win this match to have a chance at the cup, and Ravenclaw's team had improved a lot since last year. As such, James was now switching off between ranting, and listing off different plays.

"We just need to beat them by 30 points, so I'll have to hold off on catching the snitch till then… If Davidson and Sirius can hold off their beaters for awhile, we can try the double loop fall back play…. I can't _believe_ the Ravenclaw seeker got a new broom! I've been asking for one for months! I'll have to compensate with my clearly superior skill…" At this point, Remus happened to notice something James might want to know.

"Er, Prongs?"

"Their keeper's a little weak on his left…"

"James?"

"so if we can keep in that area…"

"James."

"maybe fake him out a few times…"

"JAMES!"

"What!?" Remus pointed to the clock next to the bed.

"You're gonna be late."

This, of course, immediately sent James into panic mode.

"OH MY GOSH! I'VE GOT TO GET OUT THERE! WHAT WILL THE REST OF THE TEAM DO WITOUT ME THERE TO LEAD THEM!?!?!!!" Sirius quirked his head.

"Wait, isn't Devins captain?"

"He doesn't know what he's doing!! He may have the title, but I clearly have more knowledge then him!" James suddenly paled more. "Oh no! What if Lily actually decides to come watch practice like I always tell her to! She'll never go for a guy who can't arrive in a timely manner!"

"Yes, James. _That's_ why she wont go out with you…"

"And if your so worried about being late, why don't you actually _go_ instead of just standing there and panicking?"

James was out the door before he could respond. Sighing, the other three got up and ran after him in case he ran into a wall (*cough* again *cough*) in his rush to get to the field.

The four boys ran through the halls. James practically ran over anyone in his way, pushing and shoving any who stood between him and his beloved sport. Sirius was close behind, nimbly weaving between bodies, never slowing down yet still avoiding everyone with a swift grace that James hated him for. Remus was behind him, going slower due to his constant turning to apologize if he so much as brushed shoulders with someone, and helping up those that James had shoved to the ground or into walls, apologizing for his friend as well. Peter was last, going the slowest because nobody even bothered to move out of the way for him. Whenever he ran into someone, it was usually _him_ that ended up on the ground.

As James was running, however, he turned a corner and saw in front of him: a box. It looked plain enough, so he simply planned to run it over like everything else in the hall. But when he hit it, he found the cardboard to be hard as lead. Soon, the boy was flying through the air, tumbling over the box. When Remus and Peter finally managed to catch up, they found Sirius awkwardly trying to comfort James who was moaning and wailing and clutching his hand to his chest.

"Padfoot! Prongs! What happened?" Sirius look up at Remus with a bewildered expression on his face.

"I don't know! I got here and he was on the floor, and he's been like this ever since!"

"James! Come on, what happened? Are you hurt?" James sniffed and at last looked up to his friends.

"I broke a nail!"

Needless to say, this was not what the three were expecting.

"Er, come again?"

"My nail! Right there!" He held out his hand dramatically, and sure enough the nail on his index finger was quite a bit shorter than the others. Peter hesitantly spoke up.

"But… it's just your nail…" Peter jumped as James began wailing again.

"But it's my _Quidditch _hand!" Sirius sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"James, your still late for practice."

And he was gone again.

* * *

A few hours later, the four Marauders were making there way back to their dorm room, James scowling between them.

"How am I suppose to play on Saturday with a broken nail!" his three friends moaned.

"Prongs, does it even make a difference?"

"Of course it does! Were you even watching me today? My balance was all off!"

"Your broken nail… threw off your balance?" James rolled his eyes.

"Quidditch is more than just a game guys, it's an exact _science_." A moment later, they turned the corner to find themselves face to face with the same box that had caused them all so much trouble. James immediately leapt forward, hissing with narrowed eyes.

"_**You!**_" James kicked at the box violently, forgetting that it was much harder than normal cardboard. He howled with pain, hopping on one foot and clutching the other. As he was cursing the high heavens, Remus kneeled in front of the offending box.

"What is this?" James glared.

"Who cares, lets make it _pay_." Sirius snickered and pointed at James, still clutching his foot.

"Yeah, cause that worked so well last time."

"Shut up!" James sat down on the floor, crossed his arms, and continued to give the box the evil eye. For a moment the other three stared at him, not quite sure what to do. Eventually, Sirius looked at the other two and, shrugging, sat beside James and joined him in his glaring. Soon after Peter, in a mixture of confusion and a need to follow James and Sirius, sat down as well so that three sides of the object were now covered by their angry looks. Remus shook his head, covering his face with one hand.

"You realize you're trying to intimidate a cardboard box, right?"

"Shut up and sit down Moony." With a sigh and a final shake of his head, the werewolf relented and sat down, completing the circle of glares.

* * *

"…and you've been here ever since?"

"Yes."

"Glaring at a box."

"Uh-huh."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"You're all insane. Go to bed." McGonagall had started to walk away, but quickly turned back when she heard the boys' muffled snickers.

"What?"

"Nothing professor, nothing at all." Minerva watched as the four, still obviously restraining their laughs, ran around the corner towards their dorm room. She shook her head.

"I was right… I do regret asking…" And with that, the hallway was empty.

…Or, so it seemed.

Mere moments later, a certain poltergeist by the name of peeves stuck his head out of the wall, glancing in both directions to make sure the coast was clear. Seeing it was, he giggled and retrieved the box he had left in the hallway that afternoon, whisking it away to some other part of the castle, excited at the prospect of more mayhem.

Meanwhile, Four Gryffindors returned to their common room, ascending the stairs to their bedroom. After much pushing and shoving, it was surprisingly Peter who ended up with the quill in his hand, stumbling forward to add to the list.

22.) Glaring at inanimate objects to "scare them".

* * *

**So yeah, I was walking backwards and talking to my friends at school, when I very painfully fell over a trashcan. Once I was on my feet again and my friends had stopped laughing, they agreed to help me stare the trash can down, so we circled it and gave it the evil eye. The next day, it was gone. We stand by we scared it out of town.**

**...**

**Oh my God, I am insane...**

**Regardless! I hope you enjoyed and please review! You've all been so wonderful!  
**


	15. Organization for Dummys

**Hey everyone! I'm sorry this took awhile, but this time it wasn't entirely my fault! You see, I had the chapter almost finished, when I return from school to find that someone had hacked into my computer and corrupted it. Luckily, none of my files were lost, but I still had to send my computer away and wait for it to be fixed. But better late than never right?**

**Any who, in regards to this chapter, it's one of those that I don't really know how I feel about it. I don't think I did bad, but I feel it could be better. However you all may disagree (for better or worse) so PLEASE review and let me know! Especially if you don't like it cause then I can work on not making the same mistakes in future chapters.**

**Also, a HUGE thank you to Chaucolai and Princess Ducky for their combined suggestions in this chapter! I did tweak it here and there, but I hope I did it justice and you enjoy! And of course, thank you to all who have been leaving suggestions! You're all amazing!!!**

**Which reminds me, I'm sorry if I haven't been replying to reviews. It was a combo of lack of computer and time slipping away from me. But I hope you all know that your reviews are greatly GREATLY appreciated!  
**

**And finally (sorry for the long AN), but the next chapter should hopefully be up by the end of the week. I have a Valentine's Day chapter planned, so I'm hoping to get it up before, well, Valentine's day. I still want suggestions for symptoms and what not, but they just wont be used in the next chapter most likely.**

**Hope you enjoy!

* * *

**

The common room was quiet.

This immediately caused everyone in said room to be on edge. When things were quiet, it usually meant that either some on was plotting something, or one of the Marauders (usually Sirius) was about to do something random and loud because the silence was causing them to die a little on the inside.

However, before Sirius had a chance to disrupt the calm, and different Marauder came in to do the job for him.

The door to the room slammed open as James burst in, panting as though he had been running.

"MOONY!" This loud exclamation was followed by the thump of one Remus Lupin who had fallen off his chair at the shout. Standing up quickly, he yelled back frustratingly,

"WHAT!?"

"CAN YOU HELP ME WITH MY HOMEWORK!?"

"NO!"

"WHY NOT?"

"CAUSE YOU'RE BUGGING ME!"

"WHY ARE YOU TWO YELLING!?!!?" The last statement came from Sirius, who couldn't help but notice that they were yelling from three feet away from each other. After an awkward silence, in which the two Marauders could find no good excuse for their yelling, they sat down to discuss things more quietly. Remus, now in a right state of mind, turned to James.

"Now what were you saying about homework?"

"Uh, help me with it?"

"What class?"

"History of Magic." Remus rolled his eyes.

"We were given one assignment for the whole week and you waited till the day before it's due to start it?"

"Well…" Remus sighed.

"Look, if I help you, I'd only be enabling your procrastinating ways, and I get enough dirty looks from professors and Prefects for enabling your pranking ways."

"So you're not going to help?"

"Nope." Immediately, James fell to his knees and clutched the werewolf's ankles for dear life.

"Pleeeeaaase, Moony! I neeeed youuuuu!" But his friend merely kicked him in the head.

"Get off me! The longer you complain, the longer it'll take you to do the assignment. Now off to the library with you!"

"But-"

"Go!" With a pitiful look on his face, James shuffled out of the room. Once the door had closed behind him, Sirius turned to Remus.

"You know sending him any where alone is probably a bad idea, right?" Moony sighed.

"Yeah, but at least I can tell the judge I had good intentions…"

* * *

James was moping through the hallways, utterly dreading the work he was about to do. He _hated_ history of magic. It was so boring and he saw no relevance to it what-so-ever. There were so many better things that could be done with the time he was about to waste on homework! He could work on another prank with Sirius or practice his Quidditch skills, or find Lily!

Lily…

And of course, this thought immediately sent James into his own little fantasy world filled with Lily's gorgeous red hair and sparkling green eyes…

If only he could convince her to go out with him. Just once! He was sure she would rethink her opinion of him if they spent some time together. Then, once she realized how perfect they were for each other, they could proceed to grow up, get married, and have the most beautiful children. He wondered if they'd have Lily's red hair... Well, either way, he'd have to get her to got out with him first. Hm, maybe he could try cornering her at Hogsmead again, or bribing the potions teacher into making them partners, or…

"Mr. Potter!" James snapped out of this thoughts as he looked towards the source of the shrill voice. It was the librarian. Apparently he was in the library. Strange…

"Is there something you need, Mr. Potter?" James thought for a moment. What was he doing in the library any way? He was working out a way to date Lily. He didn't need the library for that.

"Er- no, I'm good." James backed away as he saw a vein starting to bulge from the librarian's forehead.

"Then please leave. You are disturbing the other students!" He was tempted to point out that there were only three other students in the library and they were playing cards, but decided he liked his head on his shoulders, so he simply nodded and rushed back into the hallway.

Reentering the common room, still mulling over Lily and the incident with the librarian, James sat down next to Remus and Sirius. Remus looked over at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Finish your homework already?" James blinked a few times before slapping his forehead and running out of the room again.

* * *

The next night, all four Marauders were sitting in their dorm room. After being informed of the events of the previous night, Peter had taken the liberty of adding to ever lengthening list on the wall.

23.) Yelling at someone right next to you.

and

24.) Walking into a room and forgetting what you're doing.

Eventually, James had finished his homework, but it had taken a long time and had been barely passable. Remus had decided that all of them needed to start managing their time better so as to avoid last minute homework like James. As such, he had instructed Sirius, James, and Peter to make a weekly to-do list that would help them keep track of their assignments. The three were scribbling on pieces of parchment while Remus kept a watchful eye on all of them. Suddenly, Sirius leapt up.

"Finished!" Remus raised an eyebrow and picked up Sirius' list.

"Already?" However, as his eyes scanned the list, he sighed.

SIRIUS' TO-DO LIST

1.) Make a to-do list.

"Padfoot, I think this kind of defeats the purpose…" However, now James had jumped up.

"Done!"

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this…" Sure enough, Remus read his list as well.

JAMES' TO-DO LIST

1.) Prank Snape

2.) Prank Snape

3.) Prank Snape

4.) Prank Snape

5.) Ask Lily out.

6.) Prank Snape.

Remus groaned and put his head in his hands. After a moment, he looked to the fourth Marauder.

"Please Peter, tell me _you've_ got something." Peter went slightly red and stuttered a bit before Sirius grabbed his list and handed it to Remus. The paper was messy with inkblots and had at least six items that Peter had started to write before being crossed out. Eventually just leaving:

PETER'S TO-DO LIST

1.) Ask Remus.

The three friends exchanged looks as Remus began banging his head against his desk.

"Something wrong Moony?"

"Yes! You all SUCK at any form of organization!" The werewolf stood very suddenly, making the others jump. Remus turned to them. They couldn't deny, he looked almost scary, his hair sticking up at different angles from hitting the table, a maniacal grin on his face and his eyes were wide and crazed.

"Fine! I take this as a challenge! By the time I'm through with you miscreants, you'll be the most organized students in Britain!" He let out an insane laugh that made him sound like a mad man. The other three gulped and paled slightly. Sirius turned to James.

"I think we broke him…" James merely nodded mutely. Remus seemed to have ended his evil laughter and turned once again to his friends/victims.

"Now, about your to-do lists…" He cracked his knuckles and James, Peter and Sirius immediately dropped to the floor to make proper lists.

Sometime in between their hurried scribbling, one of them managed to make it back to the other list…

25.) Completely LOSING IT over a lack of organization.

* * *

Eventually, Remus went a little too far by attacking Sirius with a pair of scissors (stating that he needed a hair-cut to look more presentable). This led to James and Peter dumping a bucket of water on him, effectively breaking whatever sort of weird, maniac trance he'd been in. However, before getting the normal Moony back, they did manage to actually create real to-do lists for each of them. Sirius stood up and stretched.

"Well, now that that's over with, I'm going to bed!"

"Yeah, dealing with a murderous Moony can be tiring."

"Was I really murderous?"

"You practically attacked me!"

"Oh I'm sure you had it coming." Before the argument could go any further, the lights were put out, and the four boys fell into a deep sleep.

Unfortunately, a week later…

"MOONY!!!" Remus suddenly found himself being yanked out of the crowd of students in the hallway. Regaining his balance, he found himself standing in front of a panicked looking James and a confused looking Sirius and Peter.

"What?"

"I need your help! I didn't study for the test in transfiguration today!"

"How did you forget! It was at the top of your to-do list!" James shifted from foot to foot, looking embarrassed about something.

"Well, yeah. But… you see…"

"You lost it didn't you."

"There's just so much more important stuff I can keep in that pocket!" Sirius snickered.

"Let me guess, you took it out to make room for dungbombs and pictures of Lily."

"That's not the point! Will you guys just help me already!" Remus sighed.

"Fine. But after this, we're finding something that actually works!"

"Deal." And with that, the four hurriedly went through their notes in a desperate attempt to help James.

* * *

After their Transfiguration test, which James had just barely managed to pass, Remus had attempted to track down James to help him sort through his organizational problems. However, James had been quickly pulled away by Sirius and rush to some unknown corner of the castle. Try as he might, he could not seem to locate the two Marauders, especially since James had the Marauders' Map with him so he couldn't use it. Also, due to the fact that he had his own homework to do and could not spend every second of his time searching for them, it was not until the next day before breakfast that he finally ran into his friends just as they were about to enter the Great Hall. Remus ran up to them.

"Padfoot! Prongs!" They looked over at him and smiled.

"Hey Moony!"

"Where've you two been? I was looking everywhere for you!" James and Sirius exchanged glances.

"Well, we were kinda scared you might go all freaky/ murderous on us again, so we decided to work out James' planning on our own!" Remus sighed.

"Ok, I guess that's understandable… What'd you come up with?" The grin on their faces gave Remus a very bad feeling. At that moment, James pulled up the sleeve of his robes to reveal…

"Post-it notes!" Remus suddenly regretted showing his friends the muggle papers the year before. Looking closer, he saw each post-it covering his arm had different writing on it.

" 'Prank Snape.' 'Potions essay.' 'Study for Charms test.' 'Stalk Lily.' … 'Breath'? Is that last one really necessary?" James shrugged.

"Just wanted to be safe." Moony shook his head.

"Well, whatever works, I guess… Come on, let's go get breakfast already." Rolling his sleeve back down, James and Sirius followed him into the room.

* * *

Soon, James was actually keeping up with his assignments. He got his work in on time, and managed to remember to study for his tests. Regardless, Remus still added to the list.

26.) Having to wear post-its on your arm to remember anything.

Unfortunately, this didn't last long. For you see as time went on, strange things started to happen. It was subtle at first, like eating his vegetables and giving his dessert to Sirius. Then it got progressively stranger, like writing his essays in pink ink, and wearing his robes inside-out. Then it got down-right bizarre as he entered the common room one night to find James sitting on top of the coffee table in the center of the room… meditating. This was when Remus decided he should start looking into things.

The remainder of the week, Remus watched James very closely. He noticed that James almost always consulted the post-its on his arm before doing anything. Glance at arm, do homework. Glance at arm, walk backwards. He was starting to notice a pattern. That night, he entered the dorm he shared with his four friends and found James attempting to tie his mattress, which he had pulled off his bed, to the leg of his very disgruntled owl. His blankets were in a corner, transfigured into stuffed animals. Remus approached cautiously.

"Prongs… What are you doing?" James didn't even look up, still fighting the struggling bird.

"I'm suppose to mail this to my parents, but this owl is being stupid!" Remus stood there for a moment, his jaw hanging open. When he finally regained his senses, he figured it was time to sort this out.

"James, let me see your arm for a sec?" As he absentmindedly held out his arm, Remus looked very closely at the post-its. Some of them (the logical ones) were definitely in James' hand writing. But many seemed to have been written by someone else. Some one whose writing Remus instantly recognized.

"Padfoot…"

"Huh?" James finally looked away from the angry owl to stare at Remus quizzically. Sighing, Remus turned to the confused boy.

"Now James, I want you to listen. Very. Carefully."

"Ok…"

"Focus only on me."

"Alright."

"Are you focused?"

"Yes!"

"Now, You're trying to send _your mattress _to your parents."

"Uh…"

"By _owl_."

"Well…"

"Your _**MATTRESS**_ James!!" He blinked, and it was almost as if he woke up.

"…Oh…" Sighing again, Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. At that moment, the cause of all this chaos skipped merrily into the room.

"Hey guys! Wazzup?" Keeping his head in his hands, Remus answered.

"Sirius… Have you been messing with James' post-its?" Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Geez, it took you long enough! I thought you would call me on it after the first day." Now James, looking like he had just woken from some sort of trance, looked down at his arm.

"…I thought some of this stuff seemed weird…"

"I can't believe you messed with his post-its!" Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Think about it Moony. What's worse: Me messing with James' post-its, or the fact that it actually _worked_?" Lifting his head, the werewolf turned to James, who was still examining the directions on his arm. Wordlessly, he rose and walked to the back of the room.

27.) Obeying the commands of random post-its on your arm without question when they make NO sense and clearly weren't written by you.

Sirius shook his head as he watched Remus forcebly remove all of the post-its from James' arm.

"Dang, and I had such fun stuff planned for the next Quidditch match!"

* * *

**And there you have it! #25 (the organization one) has actually happened to me. (*cough*twice*cough). My friend freaked when she had the unfortunate horror of seeing the inside of my backpack. She started like, practically hyperventilating and talking in this high pitched voice and tried to dump everything out and organize my stuff. I had to take my back pack out of the room and give her a cookie to calm her down. Luckily for both of us, she never saw my room...**

**Well, please let me know what you thought of the chapter! Thanks again to ****Chaucolai, Princess Ducky, and every one else! I love you all!  
**


	16. I heart you too

**Hey everyone! Ok, so you know, this chapter's had some difficulty getting here. See, remember how my computer got messed up and I had to send it away to be fixed? Well, it bit the dust. For real this time. It's dead. And I lost like, every document on my computer. Luckily, I was able to scavenge this one and get it onto my mom's computer, but the next chapter will have to wait till I get a new computer. My apologies to all. :(**

**A note on the actual chapter, this is another one of my experiment ones. Cause I've never (EVER) done romance of any kind. And while this is pretty mild, I still wanted to try a bit. So please let me know what you think! Happy Valentine's Day!  
**

* * *

"No."  
"But-!"  
"No!"  
"But I haven't even-"  
"NO!" James was left standing in the hall as a pretty red-head by the name of Lily Evans stalked away from him. Sighing, he turned the opposite direction back towards the Gryffindor common room. Once he entered, he walked up the stairs to his dorm room where he dropped with a dramatic huff into his bed by next to his three best friends. Sirius turned to him first.

"Uh-oh. He's got the 'turned-down-by-Lily-again' face."  
"What happened this time?" Remus asked. James sighed again.  
"Well, I was coming back from McGonagall's office, and I saw her, so I tried to invite her to come to Quidditch practice again, but, uh, she wasn't to keen on the idea." Remus shook head, not able to look too sympathetic due to the number of times this had happened before.  
"Tough break mate." Sirius sat up again.  
"You know, I'm sure there are loads of girls who'd actually _want_ to go out with you. Why don't you try one of them?"  
"Because they're not Lily!" Sirius rolled his eyes before returning to his homework. Peter piped up next.  
"You know, Valentine's Day is coming up this weekend. Are you gonna do anything then?" There was a moment of silence before James groaned.  
"Valentine's Day... I'd completely forgotten! What am I gonna do guys!"  
"Well, that's a tough one seeing as you're not actually dating her..."  
"And she doesn't seem to like you much..."  
"And she's shot you down every other day of the year." This was not what James wanted to hear.  
"Come on guys! I've got to do something! Maybe if I do something special, she'll finally go out with me!"  
"James..."  
"I think I love her..." The room was immidiately filled with a suffocating silence. They all knew James liked Lily. Heck, he'd been chasing after her since their first year. But he'd never said the L-word before. No one was quite sure what to do or say. Even James seemed surprised by the words that had just come out of his mouth. Finally, heaving a sigh, Sirius stood and walked over to the list on the wall.

28.) Falling in Love.

James' face fell as he looked at Padfoot.  
"Does this mean you're not going to help me?" Sirius rolled his eyes.  
"Of course I'm gonna help you! I just wanted you to know exactly what I think of the whole thing." James smiled, glad that he would have his friend's assisted. Soon, Remus and Peter also sat down next to him.  
"I guess we could help too."  
"Yeah, you're going to need us too. Every time you two try to do something by yourselves, it almost always ends badly!" They shared a quick chuckle. Then the four boys huddled together to discuss the master plan...

* * *

On Saturday, Lily woke up early like usual. Had she been more observant, she would have realized that it was Valentine's Day. And had she been more observant, she would have seen one Peter Pettigrew jumping behind a wall to avoid her when she left the common room. And had she been more observant, she would have realized that it was far too early for any of the Marauders to be awake. But alas, a teenager can only be so observant on a Saturday morning, so it all went unnoticed.

She spent a majority of her morning in the library, hoping to get her homework done early so she could have the rest of the day free. She had gotten a good portion done when some of her friends from the dorm came and dragged her away, insisting she eat lunch with them. Lily was pretty hungry by now, so she didn't mind and chatted pleasantly with her friends down the hall. A few of the girls were holding red and pink Valentine's, reminding her of the date. But she didn't think much of it and simply smiled as they showed off their gifts.

They were almost there when Lily looked down at her bag, suddenly wanting to make sure she hadn't forgotten her favorite quill back at the library. As they turned the corner, she heard some of her friends giggling.

"Um, Lily? I think those are for you." Lily looked up and followed the girl's finger until her eyes landed upon what had caught their attention. There, in front of the doors to the Great Hall, floating in the air, was a single white lily. As she looked further down the hall, she noticed that there were more floating above the ground every few feet.

Turning her head back, she noticed the Gryffindor girls, still giggling slightly, had already entered the hall. Glancing around, making sure there was no one there, she took a cautious step forward. When she reached the first flower, she reached out a hesitantly took it, half expecting it to attack her. However, as she stood there holding the lily, nothing happened. Walking a few feet, she grabbed the next one as well. She followed the trail of lilies, collecting them as she went, down the hall. After a few minutes, she had practically a full bouquet and was standing in front of a door she had never seen before. She would later find out it was known as the Room of Requirement. Stepping forward, still slightly cautious, she slowly opened the door. Her jaw almost hit the ground.

The room was huge and circular and decorated with huge, silk, purple banners, her favorite color. There were also moving paintings of large herds of galloping horses, her favorite animal, and along with several lilies, there was also an abundance of orchids, her favorite flower. Glancing around, she noticed the room was full of her favorite things. Her favorite song, which she often listened to while doing homework, was playing in the background and she noticed the the room had a soft peach smell to it, the scent of her favorite bubble bath. Then she noticed, in the middle of the room, stood James Potter, awkwardly holding a large slab of Hunyduke's chocolate.

"Er- Happy Valentine's Day?" Lily's jaw still wouldn't work quite properly, so she settled for staring dumbly.  
"So... you like it?" This time she nodded dumbly. Blinking a couple times, she finally managed to speak.  
"How-how'd you know about all this stuff?" James smiled sheepishly.  
"Just sorta picked it up over the years." She nodded dumbly again. There was a short silence as she stared around the room more.  
"So...er-you wanna go to Hogsmead with me?" James looked hopeful, and Lily managed to pull herself together enough to at least answer normally. She tried to look indifferent, but it was sort of wrecked by both her previous awe and the fact that she still had a slight smile on her face.  
"Well, I suppose seeing as you're not quite the arrogant jerk I thought you were, I suppose I could manage a trip to Hogsmead." James grinned wildly.  
"Seriously!?" She nodded and chuckled as James jumped up happily. Then suddenly, the flowers she was holding began shooting out little puffs of glitter while the rest of the flowers in the room shot multicolored fireworks. Out of nowhere, Sirius jumped out and began skipping in circles. throwing hand fulls of confetti around as he went.  
"She said yes! She said yes!" Soon, Remus and Peter were there too, also looking happy, though more calm than their two friends.  
"Hey Padfoot, maybe we should let the two lovebirds have some alone time, eh?" Sirius pouted, but gave in.  
"Fine, just left me get rid of the rest of this confetti..." He whipped out his wand, muttered a quick spell, and suddenly what seemed like four pounds of confetti burst out of his pockets, covering the room. James looked irritated, until he noticed Lily laughing as she pulled confetti out of her hair, still holding the bouquet of glitter spewing flowers.

They all laughed as the other three left, leaving James and Lily to enjoy the rest of their first Valentine's Day together.

* * *

6 YEARS LATER

James Potter and Lily Evans held hands as they walked down the quiet road. It was evening and the sun was just setting, giving everything a golden glow. The street they were on was empty, with just a few birds chirping from the trees to disturb the silence. James turned and kissed Lily lightly on the lips.

"Happy Valentine's Day, love."  
"I had a wonderful time tonight James." They smiled and walked a little farther until James stopped her.  
"Lily, you know I love you so much, right?"  
"Of course."  
"And, I know times had been bad, and they seem to be getting worse, but..." Lily's eyes widened as James bent down on one knee, pulling a small felt box out of his pocket.  
"...I want to spend the rest of my life with you."  
"Oh James..." He opened the box, revealing a small, but beautiful diamond ring.  
"Lily, will you marry me?" Lily felt tears well up in her eyes as she smiled.  
"Yes... Oh James yes!" James smiled widely as he stood up and embraced his love, kissing her deeply. They broke away as James slipped the ring onto her finger. They stayed in each others arms until...

"She said yes! She said yes!" An older Padfoot jumped out of the nearby bushes, skipping around the couple, throwing a combination of flower petals and glitter over their heads. Remus and Peter emerged from the bushes as well, smiling at the two.

"Would you believe us if we said we tried to stop him?" Lily laughed, still being showered with petals and glitter.  
"Not a bit." The friends embraced and exchanged congratulations until Sirius ran out of his petals and glitter and they made their way home, smiling joyfully as another Valentine's Day passed.

* * *

**And, there you have it! Er- I don't actually know how old James and Lily were when they got engaged or anything, sooo I took some artistic liberties. I also don't know what Peter was up to at the time, so I just put him in the background. :P But I hoped you enjoyed! Thank you again for all the reviews and everything! You're all AMAAAAZING!**


	17. Emotions Running Insane

**Ok, I am so so so SOOO sorry this took so long! I've been having a "series of unfortunate events" month. See, after my computer broke, it took me awhile to get a new one. Then after I finally did, I got _really _sick (I have no memory of feburary 15th or 16th). Then once I was better enough to think straight, I got one of the worst hits of writer's block I've ever had. Then when I finally got an idea, my teachers decided to stick me with two essays, three tests, and a giant pile of homework (Junior year sucks). So I say agin, SORRY!**

**Now, as stated above, I did have a lot of trouble thinking of this chapter, so I hope you like it, but tell me if you don't. Thanks everyone! Enjoy!

* * *

**

It was one of _those _days.

A day when, though no one could explain it, everyone seemed just a bit touchy. Like every one in the entire school woke up on the wrong side of the bed. And even the four Marauders were affected by it.

Remus Lupin had the most decent excuse. It was a week before the full moon and, being a werewolf and all, often got antsy or irritable the closer it got to "that time of the month" as his friends liked to call it.

James Potter had a reasonable excuse for his bad mood as well. Today was the Quidditch match against Slytherin that would determine whether or not they would win the cup or not, so he was stressed. And when James was stressed, he tended to get a bit snappy.

Peter Pettigrew was in a mild panic due to upcoming end of the year exams. Normally the quietest of the group, he had now taken to biting the heads off any one who remotely disturbed his frantic studying.

Sirius Black, unlike his friends, didn't have a real reason to be in such a bad mood. Everything was fine for him, but unfortunately, he was very in tune with the emotions of those around him. Normally, if someone was in a bad mood, he could manage to stay happy or at the very least find someone else who was. But now he was surrounded by people who were stressed and angry and that made _him_ stressed and angry.

At the moment, James was sitting on the stairs, his head in his hands, with Sirius sitting on the railing above him. James was mumbling to himself while Sirius glared at passers.

"Just need to end the game quick… not give them a chance to score… wish Davis would take this seriously…"

"STOP LOOKING AT ME!" James looked up it time to see Sirius firing a string of curses and hexes at a group of first year Slytherins who were now running screaming down the hall trying to avoid Sirius' rapid fire. James, normally all for the torture of Slytherins, was now just annoyed.

"Great Padfoot! You broke my concentration!"

"It's their fault for looking at me funny!"

"Well, couldn't you deal with it somewhere else?"

"You're the one who dragged me here to discuss the stupid match!"

"It's not stupid!" Sirius opened his mouth to reply when both he and James turned, hearing screams behind them. They saw the same group of Slytherins Sirius had just chased off now running back, a very angry Remus yelling after them, his wand drawn though he hadn't hexed them yet.

"Next time watch where you're going, gits!" The poor students in their haste to escape Sirius, had run straight into an irritated Moony, who was trying to find some peace and quiet.

"Would you all shut up!" Now Peter had stuck his head out of the library across from the other Marauders where he had been attempting to study.

"Don't you yell at me, Wormtail!"

"You can't tell me what to do!"

"Wanna try me?"

"Potter! Black!" All four looked up. It was one of the other members of the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

"Time to go. Match starts soon." Still glaring at each other, they nodded and followed him out while Peter and Remus resumed their argument. They'd go to the pitch later.

An hour later, the game was starting. Moony and Wormtail had made it to the stands, though they still weren't looking at each other. The two teams walked out to the cheering crowd. After shaking hands, the whistle was blown and the players rose into the air. James immediately began searching for the snitch while Sirius defended his team from oncoming bludgers.

The match was slow. Neither side seemed to be able to score or establish any kind of lead. This just made James more anxious, as he wanted more than anything to win this game. However, much to the annoyance of his team, this anxiety translated into him being very critical of the rest of the team. He kept shouting out instructions and criticisms to everyone, even the captain. This only really became a problem when he started harassing Sirius.

"Padfoot! Stop fooling around and get those bludgers!"

"I am! Maybe it would help if you would stop distracting me!"

"I would if you would take this seriously!"

"Why don't you just do your job and let me do mine?"

"I am doing my job!"

"Oh yeah? Then how come we haven't got the snitch yet?"

"Maybe if I didn't have to worry about dodging rouge bludgers…"

"Or maybe if you actually _looked_!" In his anger, James flew a few feet to the other Gryffindor beater and grabbed his bat, swinging at a bludger and aiming it at Sirius. Sirius easily deflected it, sending back to James and soon the two were hitting the ball back and forth as they yelled.

"Now you're beater too? We're never gonna get that snitch!"

"It's not _my_ fault I have to do everything myself!"

"If you just left everyone alone, this match could have been finished ages ago!"

"Not with the way you've been playing!"

"You're right, what was I thinking? Besides, it's not like you would've found the bloody snitch anyway!" Now the rest of the team was getting sucked into the fight too. The chasers were alternating arguing with each other and with the keeper, while the other beater yelled indignantly at anyone who could hear about his bat being taken away, until everyone on the team was in a full on screaming match.

Now you would think that this would be a good opportunity for the Slytherin team to make a bunch of goals, seeing as the entire team was busy yelling instead of playing. Unfortunately, their team was in a similar state. The green-clad players were now at each others' throats for their playing abilities and other things.

The audience was silence in their shock. Now fights had broken out in Quidditch before, especially games with Gryffindor versus Slytherin. But this was the first time they'd ever seen the players fight members of their _own team._ The crowd watched on as a mass of red and a mass of green continued to fight, James and Sirius still hitting the bludger back and forth.

"You've never cared about this game! I don't even know why you're on the team!" The second bludger started to head for Sirius, but he absentmindedly hit it away before hitting the other one back to James.

"I do care! I'm just not obsessed like you! It's just a game!"

"Don't you dare call it that!"

"What, a game? That's what it is!"

"Shut up!"

"Game! Game! Game! Game!"

"You're such a-!"

CRACK!

The field went silent. After hitting the bludger, James had swung his bat to the side in anger when the "crack" had reverberated through the field. He glanced over at his bat. There, embedded in the wood, it's tiny wings spread out to the side, was the golden snitch.

James watched as the snitch slowly peeled away from the bat, and began to fall, like a bird that had hit a window. There was another moment of silence as James watched the snitch fall before Sirius yelled:

"CATCH IT YOU IDIOT!"

Coming to his senses, James immediately dove and in a few seconds, had the snitch firmly between his fingers before the Slytherin seeker had even figured out what was happening.

Thhe crowd erupted into applause. The Gryffindor team seemed to forget their previous arguments as they cheered and circled the pitch in victory. They then flew to the ground, landing and running to hug each other. They jumped up and down as they celebrated. James and Sirius happily embraced, all anger erased and forgotten from their minds as Dumledore appeared, an amused grin on his face, to hand the cup over to the team. Remus and Peter ran to their friends, their fight also forgotten as the four hugged each other and cheered with the rest of their house.

That night, the mood was considerably lighter. Their was a party going on down in the common room to celebrate their win. The Marauders were sitting in a circle in their dorm room, having retreated their after many hours of partying with no sign of it ending anytime soon. They each laughed and sipped on butterbeers as they discussed the events of the day.

"Oh man, of all the ways to catch a snitch…"

"Really! And I wasn't even trying!"

"Maybe it was trying to commit suicide to avoid all the fighting?"

"True, that was pretty intense."

"Yeah. I don't think that's ever happened before. Teams fighting themselves instead of each other I mean."

"Pretty insane." James, Sirius, and Remus all whipped their heads around to stare at Peter, who looked confused at their reaction to his innocent comment.

"Er, what?" Sirius rolled is eyes before giving him a pointed look. After a moment, realization dawned in his eyes.

"Ooooh." He quickly stood up, grabbing a quill as he went, and ran to add to the list.

29.) Fighting with your own team.

The four friends laughed as they joked about the game and the day in general, eventually falling asleep on the floor in a much batter mood than when they had woken up.

* * *

**Well I hope you liked it! This is one of the few chapters that actually _doesn't _come from my life. Mostly cause I don't play any sports... But I _have _had days where it seems like every one's in a bad mood. **

**Please review with thoughts and suggestions! I'm gonna try REALLY hard to get the next chapter out sooner (Sorry again about that...). Thanks everyone!**


	18. M Day

**Hey everyone! So I actually managed to finish this chapter pretty fast! Yay! It's pretty long, but I kinda have mixed feelings about that. On the one hand, it's longer, so there's more for you to read. On the other hand, I don't know, maybe I put too much in? I don't know...**

** But there are a couple of things you should know. First, I have made a very minor change to the story. It doesn't affect the other chapters or anything, but in the first chapter I said that the Marauders are second years, but I've decided to make them third years. I don't know, second year just seemed too young. Also, this chapter takes place at the end of their third year, but this does not _necessarily _mean the story is ending. In fact, I have plans for it to continue, but I'm letting you decide! I'm trying to decide between A) Continuing through the summer and showing the insane things the Marauders do outside of school, or B) skipping the summer and have the next chapter be them starting their fourth year. Of course, you also always have the option of begging me to spare you all and just end it, so please just let me know!**

**Ok, this AN has gone on long enough. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

**

The Great Hall had been turned into a battle field.

The four house tables had been moved at various points. One had been tipped on it's side to act as a shield, the others pushed around closer to the walls, leaving a relatively open space in the center of the room. Throughout the hall, students were firing hexes and jinxes of every kind in every direction. People were screaming, jumping under tables for protection, trying desperately to get to the door that would exit the chaos. A few brave professors were attempting to fight as well, screaming for order. By the teachers table, one could just make out the tip of Dumbledore's hat as he hid from oncoming attacks. A young red-headed girl cried out from under what use to be the Hufflepuff table.

"This is insanity! INSANITY I TELL YOU!!"

On the other side of the room, a boy with round glasses was valiantly continuing to fight what was quickly becoming a loosing battle. He heard a grunt from next to him and looked over to see a young student, clutching at his red splattered robes.

"I'm hit!"

"No Lewis! Don't give up on me!" He knelt down by the boy.

"Come on, man! Open your eyes!" The madness continued around him while he shook the boy. Someone put their hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up, startled.

"It's over, James. It's all over…"

**ONE WEEK EARLIER…**

Sirius burst out of the potions classroom, quickly followed by his friends and fellow Marauders, James, Peter and Remus.

"Finally! Exams are over!"

"Ugh, I never want to do that again!"

"Uh, you both realize we're going to have to do this every year till we graduate, right?"

"Stop being a killjoy, Moony."

They continued chatting as they returned to their dorm rooms. James jumped onto his bed and turned to the others.

"I can't believe we only have a week left now."

"Yeah. What're we gonna do?" Remus looked up.

"What'd you mean, 'What're we gonna do'?" Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Well we gotta do something! You know, a final prank of the year."

"Like first year when we decorated the entire school-"

"-including the Slytherin common room-"

"-in Gryffindor colors!"

"Or last year when we managed to cover everyone in the Great Hall with slime!" Remus sighed.

"I was hoping you would forget and skip this year."

"You don't know us at all, do you Moony?"

They spent the rest of the night discussing possible ideas for their end of the year prank. A few hours later, James and Sirius were arguing. James thought they should get all the suits of armor in the school to randomly follow people around all day, while Sirius felt they should aim for making it rain indoors.

"Come on, armor following people? That's more creepy than funny."

"Oh, and what's so great about having to use an umbrella indoors, other than giving everyone bad luck?"

"Hey! I like the rain!"

"So? Doesn't make it any better a prank!"

"It's still better than yours."

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!" James jumped from his bed and tackled Sirius so that they were both rolling around on the floor, with Remus shaking his head at the two of them.

"Honestly you two, can't you settle your arguments in some other way?" The boys in question froze.

"Like what?"

"I don't know, make an army to fight for you." Remus said this in a very sarcastic manner, but James and Sirius' eyes lit up all the same. Remus paled.

"No. No no no. Do _not_ tell me I just gave you an idea!"

"It's perfect!"

"Yeah! I mean, we've been complaining about how useless the first-years are all year!"

"What!?"

"Yeah! We'll each create an army of first-years-"

"-that'll do our bidding and battle it out!" Despite Moony's many attempts to shoot the idea down, they were set. Eventually, he gave up and decided to join in and at least help ensure that no one gets killed.

"So what are the rules?"

"Uh, rules?"

"Yeah. Like, there are four of use, so do we each get a house or something?"

"Oh Merlin, no!"

"Why not?"

"I don't want to risk getting stuck with just Slytherins or Hufflepuffs!"

"Good point…"

"Ok, how bout this: I heard the teachers at the beginning of the year say that exactly 160 first-years came to Hogwarts this year. So we each get 40."

"Assuming they all join."

"Oh they won't have a choice."

"Padfoot…"

"Well, I'll give them a choice. I'll just make the second one much less desirable."

"Riiight…"

"Anyway, first person to grab a certain student gets them. That way there's no fighting over one person. First one there wins no matter what."

"Sounds fair."

"What about methods of war?"

"Ok, only _harmless_ hexes, jinxes, and charms are allowed. We want to cause mayhem, not get anyone hurt."

"Right."

"So we're all agreed?" They all nodded.

And so the game began…

* * *

James poked his head out from behind a corned. The hallways were mostly empty, as most people were spending their free afternoon either outside or in their common rooms. However, James had his eye on a Gryffindor first-year boy who had stopped to tie his shoe. He was tall for his age, and James had seen him perform a well aimed hex or two.

James looked both ways, making sure the coast was clear, before jumping out from behind the wall and sprinting over to the boy.

However, before he could reach him, a black blur jumped at the first-year from the side, knocking him out of the way causing James to land on his face in the exact spot the boy had been a mere moment before. Groaning, he looked up to see Sirius clutching the first-year and sticking his tongue out.

"Hah! Nice try Prongs, but you know the rules! I got him first!" The poor kid had a mixture of confusion and fear on his face. But, seeing as all first-years had learned early in the year not to oppose the Marauders, he obediently followed Sirius as he was dragged away.

James cursed to himself. He'd only managed to get about half his army put together. He needed to work faster if he wanted to get the good ones. Jumping to his feet, he raced off to find more first-years.

Meanwhile, Remus and Peter were also searching for minions. Remus, understanding that diversity would give him an advantage, was trying his best to get an equal number of students from each house. Peter, on the other hand, was grabbing anyone he could see. Being the slowest of the group, he knew that if he had to race for a first-year, he would lose. So he had spent the day gathering as many students as he could find.

He had just been looking for a few Hufflepuffs he had seen earlier when he ran headlong into none other than Sirius Black, dragging a disgruntled Gryffindor behind him.

"Wormtail! Just the man I was looking for!"

"Er, really?" Sirius nodded vigorously.

"Yes! You see, I have a plan…" He glanced over his shoulder before leaning down close to Peter.

"What if, the two of us formed an alliance? That was, it'd be us two against them, and they'd be fighting each other too. Then we'd have a better chance of winning!"

"Er, is that against the rules?"

"We never made a rule that specified against these circumstances. So no." Peter blinked a few times.

"Uh, if you don't mind me asking… why me? This is the sort of thing you and James would do." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Please, Wormtail, if James wins this, we wont be able to fit his head out the door!" Peter nodded, keeping to himself the fact that Sirius would probably be only slightly better than James. Still, the lesser of two evils…

"Sure, sounds good!" Sirius slapped him on the back, causing him to stagger forward a little.

"I knew I could count on you! Now, get out of here before someone sees us together." Peter nodded again and took off down the hall. With Sirius on his side, he stood a much better chance of winning. Or, at the very least, not losing pathetically.

As he was thinking this, Peter found himself once again colliding with a friend. This time, James Potter.

"Oi! I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"Huh?"

"Look, I was thinking…" He glanced over his shoulder before leaning down close to Peter.

"If the two of us fought together as a team, while the other two were fighting alone, we'd have no problem coming out on top!" Peter stared dumbly at his friend.

"Uh, Wormtail? You in there?" Peter shook his head to clear his mind.

"Yeah, yeah it's just…uh, why aren't you asking Sirius?" James rolled his eyes.

"Because if he wins, his ego will inflate so much, he'll float away." Peter nodded, though he still maintained that James was worse.

"Ok, sounds like a plan!" James slapped him on the back, once again causing him to almost lose his balance.

"Always knew you'd come through, mate! Now scram before one of the others shows up." Peter nodded again and made his way back down the hall. He had almost made it outside when he ran into another friend (not literally this time). Remus called to him from across the hall.

"Hey Peter!"

"Hello Remus!" The werewolf stopped when he reached his fellow Marauder.

"Listen, I wanted to talk to you…" _You and everyone else…_ Thought Peter.

"Really?"

"Yes. You see…" He glanced over his shoulder before leaning down close to peter.

"I know it's dishonest, but I don't think I could stand the train ride home if James or Sirius wins this. So how about we work together?" Peter thought his jaw would fall off. Remus looked at him curiously.

"Peter?"

"Huh? Oh, right. Uh, yeah, I'm in!" Remus smiled.

"Good. So I'll talk to you later, I don't want Padfoot or Prongs to catch us." Peter waved as his friend walked away before dropping his hand to his side.

He wasn't entirely sure what had just happened, but he was pretty sure it would work in his favor. And with that, he returned to his search for first-years.

* * *

Finally, the day had arrived. The week had been full of planning. Even the teachers were suspicious due to the lack of chaos in the castle and the apparent separation of the four trouble-makers. Each had found an empty room in which to plan their attacks during breaks. Most of the students had been willing to partake in their game for the fun, glory, or to avoid threats. All were being educated in the art of battling (without hurting anyone, of course). Remus taught all his soldiers strategy, while James and Sirius each taught every hex and jinx they knew. Peter meanwhile, was desperately try to keep his soldiers moral up. Unfortunately, it was pretty well know within Hogwarts that Peter was not quite as skilled as his counterparts. He spent much of his time trying to pep talk his first-years and convince them that they would not be forced to forfeit in the first five minutes.

"Really guys! It'll be fine! I've got a plan all worked out! We'll win this no problem!" There were forced murmurs of agreement. Peter sighed.

"You know, I'm part of the Marauders too. How about showing a little more confidence?" The murmurs of agreement were a little louder this time as they all acknowledged the fact. Peter just sighed again as the headed toward the Great Hall.

It had taken them awhile to decide upon a location of their battle. Remus said that outside would cause the least amount of damage, so it was quickly ruled out. They eventually settled on the Great Hall during their last dinner for two reasons.

1.) They couldn't get a detention because it was the last night. And

2.) Because more unsuspecting victims = more chaos = more fun for the Marauders.

They had also decided on each wearing a specific color so that they would accidentally attack their own teammates. James chose red for Gryffindor, Remus chose blue, his favorite color, Peter chose brown for less visibility, and Sirius chose black for the irony.

At the same time that the four teams were meeting for a final run-down of the rules, the Students and Staff of Hogwarts were unbearably nervous. It was their final night, the last meal, the night the winners of the house cup was decided.

And the Marauders. Weren't. There.

Along with every first-year in the school, but it was really the Marauders they were concerned about. Everyone was poking at their food suspiciously and glancing over their heads. The Hall had been decorated in Gryffindor colors for their win, and while happy, the whole house was anxious for the inevitable arrival of their four most famous members.

Sure enough, moments later, the doors burst open, revealing the Marauders as they had never seen them before. They stood in a line in front of the first-years that had been mysteriously missing. James was dressed in red, with red war paint on his face and a few pieces of knights' armor that Filch had been looking for. Remus was wearing dark blue, with a long cape and a feathered helmet on his head. Peter was dressed in brown with a large shield held in front of him. Sirius had a black army outfit, including an army helmet with a few leaves in it, and a little less war paint than James. All four were carrying a large bag, the contents of which were unknown.

Ignoring the looks of silent shock from the rest of the school, each boy walked towards a separate corner of the room to discuss final plans. The school watched in confusion and fear as each team huddled together.

James put his bag in the center of the circle.

"I know we haven't practiced with them, but I think these will give us the upper hand…"

Sirius also pulled out his bag.

"They'll be expecting jinxes and hexes, but they wont expect these…"

Remus motioned his soldiers forward.

"I had a last minute idea and thought these might come in handy…"

Peter looked around at his team, looking smug.

"See! You all thought I didn't have a plan! But I bet none of the others thought of these…!"

At last, the huddles dispersed, and each of the four Marauders stood on top of the table nearest to them, the occupants of the tables being too intrigued to complain. James spoke first.

"People of Hogwarts! A battle in about to begin!" Remus spoke next.

"We have risen above petty pranks and arguments…" Peter continued next.

"and we shall now see who it truly superior!" Sirius added:

"Any one who wants to leave, just has to figure out how to get the door open!" A few students in the room groaned, some began to panic, amd some were already getting ready to bolt for the door. James grinned across the hall at his "enemies".

"Prepare to be defeated!"

"Not in this lifetime, Prongs!"

"You're going down!"

"Let's go!" Remus raised his wand. The room went still and silent. Waiting. He lowered his wand.

**"VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!"**

Sirius' cry marked the beginning of the battle. First-years jumped over tables, scattering plates and food, firing as many spells as they could remember. Some students made a run for it, trying to reach the door, but found it locked just as Sirius had said. They tried any unlocking spells they could think of, but the door remained shut. Other students hid under their tables, trying to avoid wayward jinxes. Still others decided to choose a side and join the fray, also shooting harmless hexes at whoever they could find. The professors leaped from their chairs, desperate to stop the madness, but to no avail. The Marauders themselves stayed as out of they way as they could, remaining behind their soldiers and shouting orders and instructions. At one point, all four of them shouted,

"USE THEM NOW!" The items within their mysterious bags soon became apparent. Balloons, most filled with water but with a few filled with paint, were soon flying through the room. It was so hectic, people hanging upside-down, changing colors, getting hit with balloons, growing fur, that no one noticed the fact that none of the teams were attacking the first-years dressed in brown.

James looked around, wondering for a moment if perhaps they were causing too much of a mess, but quickly banished the idea when he looked over to see Professor Dumbledore peek his head out from under his table and throw a well-aimed paint balloon at one of the students before quickly ducking down again.

As the battle raged on, the decreasing numbers within James, Remus, and Sirius' ranks became more apparent. And so did the fact that Peter was winning. Their soldiers being weakened by each other, all three were now open to attack from the entirety of Peter's army. They joined the fight themselves now, desperate to scrap a win, but things were looking bleak.

James, who at some point in the battle had lost his eyebrows, dropped to his knees as Edward Lewis, one of his last remaining good fighters, fell to the ground, hit by a paint balloon.

"Come on, man! Open your eyes!" He shook the boy a bit more before Remus walked over to him, his clothes soaking from water balloons and his skin covered in purple polka dots. He put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head solemnly.

"It's over, James. It's all over…" The two boys and Sirius, who now had rabbit ears, all looked up to see a triumphant Peter standing on one of the house tables. He raised his fist in the air.

"VICTORY!" His army cheered behind him, raising their wands in celebration. Sirius glared up at him.

"Wormtail, you traitor!" Peter grinned.

"Hey, we never made a rule saying I _couldn't _double-cross all of you." The other three exchanged a look. James blinked slowly as he spoke.

"Oh my gosh…" Sirius shook his head and continued.

"All these years…"

"And he's secretly an evil genius!" Remus finished. James shook his head.

"I can't even really be mad at him, I'm so impressed."

"I don't know about you two, but I feel…proud!" Sirius said. James and Remus nodded in agreement. But before the conversation could continue…

"Eh, hum."

All four turned around to find Professor McGonagall, paint in her hair and her robes turned tie-dye and looking not entirely pleased.

"I take it you have thought of a way to quickly and efficiently clean and restore the Great Hall?"

"Uh…" James turned to Peter who turned to Sirius who turned to Remus who shrugged in a very non-helpful way. They all sighed.

"We'll get started on some cleaning spells." McGonagall nodded.

"Good idea." As the friends began discussing which spells would work fastest, the Professor looked over to see Dumbledore peek his head out again. Seeing the battle had ended, he stood up more, turning to McGonagall.

"Who won?"

* * *

That night, the Marauders were back in their room. All clean and returned to their natural states, they were now finishing some last minute packing.

"I still can't believe we got defeated by _Peter_."

"Although I must admit, it was bloody brilliant."

"True, true." They laid down of the floor, sighing contently and staring at the ceiling. After a moment, Sirius chuckled.

"Did any of you happen to catch what Lily was screaming during the battle?" The others laughed as well as James stood and walked over to the list.

30.) Creating an army of first-years to do your biding.

James stood back and looked at the list, reading all of the things they had done in the past nine months or so. He smiled and turned back to his friend, returning to his spot on the floor.

"It's been a good year."

"It's been an _insane_ year." They all smiled.

"Yeah. That too."

* * *

**And there you have it! This was inspired by me and my friend discussing our plans for Senior year. I told her I was tired of getting into arguments and never knowing who won. So I am now developing legit plans to create an army of Freshman next year. It's gonna be epic.**

**Also, it took me forever to decide on who would win in the end, but I eventually decided on Peter, if only for the irony of him betraying them. XD  
**

**Please let me know what you think I should do with the next chapter and thanks to all reviewers! I love you all!  
**


	19. He said you said I said he said what?

**Hey everyone! Sorry for the slow updates. Homework + Writers' Block = Slow writing. Which is why I would like to thank Princess Ducky for yet another suggestion! Thanks to everyone else too! Even if I don't use them, I _really_ appreciate the suggestions!**

**So, my current plan, because the voting seemed pretty even, is this: This chapter take place over the summer, the next chapter will be the Marauders being insane at Diagon Alley, and the chapter after that will start their fourth year. Sound good? Yes? No? Let me know! **

**Also, on a final note, I would just like to take a moment to mention Hover, who was my 100th reviewer! Yay! *throws confetti* **

**And now onto the story! Hope you enjoy!

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**

Dear Moony,

My summer is going alright all things considered. Sorry to hear about the rough full moon. Wish I could have been there. Glad you're still having fun in America though! I can't wait to hear all your stories about it at school!

James told you I hate purple? Please. I _use_ to hate purple. Then I spent that week in second year with purple highlights and it sort of grew on me. Tell James he's mental and I can't believe he forgot that.

Hope to talk to you soon,

Padfoot

* * *

Dear Padfoot,

Oh yeah, I remember that. I think Dumbledore was jealous, cause he kept looking at you and fiddling with his own hair.

And Sirius, you _do_ have your own owl (I know cause you sent it to me) so why don't you just tell James yourself?

America is very interesting. A lot different from home. I'll tell you and the others all about it when I get back. Oh, and I hope you parents aren't being too much of a pain.

Write back soon,

Moony

* * *

Wormtail,

Hey! Sorry it's taken me so long to write back. I asked Remus about Sirius liking purple, and he said no but then he asked Sirius and Sirius said he _did_ like purple. Go figure. Apparently it had something to do with that week in second year when I messed up that spell and turned part of his hair purple. Whatever.

Sorry to hear you're bored. I can sympathize. There's absolutely NOTHING to do here. I wanted to practice quidditch, but my dad was busy and there's not much you can do playing by yourself.

Do you know if Remus started that Transfiguration homework yet? Cause I'm totally lost.

Talk to you later!

Prongs

* * *

Dear Padfoot,

I feel like I haven't talked to you in forever! How's your summer going? Surviving the Blacks alright?

There's nothing to do here! My parents are so strict on the "no magic over the summer" rule. I can't do anything! I wanted to start my homework to get it done early, but it's so difficult! James said he was having trouble too. Do you know if Remus has started yet? He's probably finished by now.

Oh, and James told me that Remus said that you said you do like purple cause of the whole hair thing. I forgot about that...

Hope to seen you soon!

Wormtail

* * *

Moony,

America sounds fun! Wish I could go too. Oh well, I still can't wait for school to start again!

Peter said that James said that you told him about me liking purple cause of my hair in second year. How did everyone forget that?

Oh, and James and Peter were wondering if you've started the summer homework yet. They actually want to try to get it done. Blasphemy, I know.

Actually, I was kind of wondering to. Some of the stuff McGonagall assigned was hard! Honestly, you're probably the only one in our class who could finish it on your own.

Help please?

Padfoot

* * *

Dear Padfoot,

*sigh* I was wondering why I hadn't heard from those two in a while. Why couldn't they have written me themselves? Oh well. Yes, I have started (and finished) the summer assignments. I think you're all exaggerating. I didn't find them hard at all. It was mostly review with some new material that was very simple if you actually looked in your books once in a while. Try to get it done yourselves, and if you're really having trouble, I can help you guys on the train.

Yeah, and that week was pretty memorable. Though admittedly I forgot too. And what's with the long chain of letters to each other instead of directly to one another? I'm confused...

Moony

* * *

Wormtail,

Remus said that he did finish the homework and that we should try it ourselves before cheating off him. I know, I'm disappointed too. But that's Moony for you. He also said he's confused, but then _I_ got confused about what he was confused about. Confusing...

That sucks about the no magic. I can at least use little spells as long as they're not directed at my brother, but that takes all the fun out of it! Besides, it's not like he doesn't ask for it. Other than that, though, life's not any worse than usual here in the ancient and noble house of Black. I can't wait to get to James' house! Remember, on the train he was saying we might be able to spend the last couple of weeks of summer at his place? Has he told anything about that since? Just wondering.

Padfoot

* * *

Prongs,

Sirius asked Remus and Remus said we should do the homework ourselves. But I already tried that, so now I don't know what to do! I expected him to make you and Sirius do your own work, but I thought he'd at least help me like he usually does.

Also, Sirius was wondering if you were still planning on having us come over at the end of vacation. I think he's dying from boredom. But seriously, have you asked your parents yet? Cause the boredom's killing me too.

And apparently Remus is confused and Sirius is confused about what Remus is confused about. Did that make any sense?

Well, hope to see you soon!

Wormtail

* * *

Moony,

Peter just told me that Sirius told him that you said you're not gonna help with the summer assignments. _And_ Peter said that he thought you would ditch me and Sirius but help him out _as usual_! Have you been helping him but not me or Padfoot all this time?! Even when you do help us, it's never willingly. What's the deal?

Peter also said that Sirius said that you said you were confused but Sirius was confused about what you were confused about and his explanation made Peter confused which made me confused. Any idea what that's about?

Also, Sirius asked Peter to ask me about you guys coming over. I asked my parents, and they said it's cool. I was thinking that we could meet at Diagon Alley, buy our school stuff, and then you guys could stay for the last two weeks. Will you be back by then? Let Sirius and Peter know.

Hope you can make it!

Prongs

* * *

Dear Padfoot,

James told me to tell you (though I don't know why he couldn't have told you himself) that we're going to meet at Diagon Alley to get our supplies and then spend the last two weeks at his place. I'll be back in the country by then, so it works out for me. Sound good to you?

Also, he seemed indignant that I help Peter with his homework but not you or him. The difference is, Peter actually _tries_ his assignments. You and James are just lazy. I regret nothing.

Prongs also said something else, but it was too confusing to try to decipher.

See you in a couple weeks,

Moony

* * *

Wormtail,

REMUS HAS BEEN HELPING YOU WITH YOUR HOMEWORK ALL THIS TIME!?!!

That is so unfair! Just because you "try". What does that even mean? I try plenty hard on my work! Well, most of the time at least…

Anyway, James said we can spend the last two weeks of summer with him. We're gonna meet at Diagon Alley first though to get our stuff. It's cool with me and Remus so we just need to know if you can make it. However, I also just realized he never specified a time or exact date. Could you ask him? Thanks.

Also, Moony said that James said something confusing. You know what?

Still mad at you for getting help from Remus,

Padfoot

* * *

Prongs,

Oh boy, Sirius is really mad about Remus helping me out with school work but not you guys. It's not my fault! I never told him to _not_ help you two.

All of us can make it to your place, but Sirius wanted to know what time and day exactly.

And Sirius said that Remus said that you said something confusing. What did you say?

Can't wait to see you again!

Wormtail

* * *

Moony,

Heh, apparently Sirius got all mad at Peter for getting help from you. Although, Wormtail did make a good point that we really should be more angry at you. You shouldn't discriminate against people who need help with homework you know!

So it sounds like all of you can make it. Specifically, I was thinking the 17th at noon? Would that work for you? Ask the others for me.

And I've officially given up on trying to figure out the confusion. It's too confusing.

Prongs

* * *

Dear Padfoot,

Don't take it out on Peter that I actually make you work on your own assignments. James told me he said you were mad at him. It's not his fault.

Also, I don't know why you all suddenly can't just write to each other, but James said he was thinking the 17th at noon. It's good for me, so we just need to make sure it works for You and Peter.

Hope to see you then!

Moony

* * *

Wormtail,

Remus said that James said that you said that I shouldn't be mad at you for Remus helping you. I suppose that's true, so I... apologize... for my previous outburst.

We're planning on meeting up on the 17th at 12. Work for you?

Can't wait to see you all again!

Padfoot

* * *

Prongs,

You'll never guess! Sirius said that Remus said that you said that I said that he shouldn't be mad at me for getting help from Remus and he actually _apologized_!! Mark this day on the calendar, it's like a historic moment!

Oh, and Sirius said that he and Moony were cool with the 17th at 12 and I am too. So I'll see you then!

Wormtail

* * *

Moony,

Oh my gosh, Wormtail just sent me a letter. He said that Sirius said that you said that I said that Peter told me that Sirius was a jerk for getting mad at him and then he actually said he was _sorry_! Crazy, right?

Oh, and Peter also told me that Sirius said that you said that you were cool with the 17th and all and they're both good too. So we'll all meet then!

See you soon!

Prongs

* * *

Dear Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs,

31.) Creating a chain of letters instead of just simply writing to each other directly like normal.

Moony

* * *

**That bit at the beginning about Sirius and the color purple? That actually happened to me. I use to hate purple, then I dyed my hair purple (Don't ask) and now I've become quite fond of the color. Hmm... There might be a future chapter in there... *plots***

**Also, Remus going to America is going to come up again, possibly in the next chapter. ;P**

**Please review! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!  
**


	20. Jk jk! LOLOLOL!

**I'm so, so sorry for the slow updates! I've been suffering from really bad writers' block. Thank you all who haven't given up on me yet! Again, sorry! (I'd apologize more, but then it'd take longer to get to the story, so you're just going to have to trust me on how sorry I am). I also apologize for the short-ness, but that's just the way it goes. Next chapter will be the Marauders starting their fourth year. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

James Potter tapped his foot impatiently. He had been happily smiling and humming five minutes earlier, enjoying the summer weather as he waited for his friends in Diagon Alley. But that was five minutes ago, and James was not a patient person. After a few more minutes, James was finally rewarded with the sight of his friend, werewolf and bookworm, Remus Lupin. He promptly began to wave and jump up and down.

"Remus! Over here!" Remus smiled as he hugged his friend.

"Prongs! Long time no see!" The two Marauders chatted until Peter Pettigrew arrived shortly after Remus. After they had run out of small talk, the three boys waited for the last Marauder. James sighed.

"Where is he?"

"It's Padfoot, mate. He's always late."

"I know! And _I_ always complain about it, and who am I to break tradition?" It was Remus' turn to sigh this time.

"Um, guys?" James and Remus turned to Peter, who was looking over their shoulders wide-eyed and scared looking.

"What's wrong, Wormtail?" Peter rose a slightly shaking finger to point behind them. However, just as they were turning their heads to look, all three found themselves being tackled to the ground. James groaned before feeling himself being picked up and pulled into a crushing hug. Sirius was hugging all three and simultaneously breaking their ribs.

"Oh James! Remus! Peter! How I've missed you three! Such a long time I've spent in the darkness that is my soul without your presence!" Sirius looked at the three with large, teary puppy-eyes until James finally broke free.

"PADFOOT! What have I told you about dragging us into your overly dramatic public displays of affection!?"

"Uh, don't?"

"Exactly. Now lets get our books and stuff so I can go home."

"With us of course."

"Oh, of course…" They began their walk around Diagon Alley, paying more attention to catching up as oppose to looking for their school supplies. But of course, before they could get very far, James found himself glued to the window of the Quidditch shop. Which is actually where the story really begins…

"Hey guys! Check it out!"

"Yes James, Quidditch. We all know you love it, it's amazing, yadda yadda, can we go now?"

"No, no! There's a new broom out!"

"Really?"

"Move over let me see!"

"Wow, look at it…"

"Perfectly designed…"

"Omg…" At this, Peter, Sirius, and James' heads all whipped around to stare at Remus. Remus blinked at his friends' stares.

"Er, what?"

"What did you just say?"

"What?"

"No, before that. When we were looking at the broom." Remus thought for a moment before realizing what they were talking about.

"Oh, that. 'OMG'. It means 'Oh my gosh'. I heard people use it when I was in America. They use it when they send each other messages to take up less time. They call it chat speak." The other three Marauders exchanged glances.

"But, we're not sending messages, so why don't you just _say_ 'Oh my gosh'?" Remus shrugged.

"Idk…" Sirius looked at Remus like he was crazy (which he was pretty sure he was).

"And what does _that_ mean, Moony?"

"I don't know."

"Well if you don't know, then why did you say it?!"

"No, no! 'IDK' stands for 'I don't know'." James shook his head.

"Just talk normally Remus, all this translating is annoying me." They all just shook their heads and continued down the street.

They decided to go to the book store first since that was where they would get most of their supplies. As they were walking, Sirius noticed a small cage in the corner. As he inspected it closer, a large grin appeared on his face as he opened it.

James, who had been looking for the fourth year potions book, turned around as he heard Sirius call him.

"Oi Prongs! Heads up!" James instinctually caught the large book that was thrown at him. At first he didn't think much of it, until the book started to growl. He was just able to read the title before it began snapping at his face. He tried to throw the monster book of monsters on the ground, but it merely began to chase him. The three remaining friends all laughed as they watched a screaming James run around the book store being attacked by a vicious text book as the store manager chased them both. Sirius was practically doubled over as he laughed.

"Haha, oh man, James screams like a girl!"

"Wow, haha, he's quite a runner too!"

"Lol!" Sirius and Peter once again whipped around to stare at Moony. James, who had also heard his friend, had stopped mid run, causing him to shriek in pain as the monster book latched onto his backside before toppling over as the manager, who didn't have time to stop, ran into his back. Yet even on the ground, James managed to give Remus a look.

"…Moony…"

"what does…"

" 'Lol' mean?" Remus blushed a bit and tried to look anywhere but at his friends.

"Uh… 'laugh out loud'?" Sirius stared at him incredulously.

"But, then why didn't you just, you know, laugh out loud?" Remus simply went redder and shrugged. James shook his head as he struggled to pick himself up off the ground, kicking the manager and the book off him. After brushing himself off a bit, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a surprisingly long piece of parchment that probably wouldn't have fit if not for magic. He then pulled out a quill and began to write.

32.) Talking in Chat Speak.

Sirius looked over his shoulder.

"You carry that with you?"

"Yup. Good thing too." Peter nodded in agreement as Remus went redder still.

"Next time, I'm shopping by myself…"

"We would've found out sooner or later." Remus just shook his head and shuffled out of the store, mumbling under his breath.

"w.e…"

* * *

**And there you have it! In case you didn't know, "w.e." means "whatever". I have a couple of friends who use chat speak when they talk to me, it's so annoying! Especially the "lol"s. JUST LAUGH DANG IT!!! **

**Oh, and I don't actually know if people in England use chat speak, so I apologize if I am politically incorrect. I hope you enjoyed, and please review!**


	21. Who ARE you people?

**I'm going to try to make this brief: Yes, it's been forever since my last update. I apologize. My life's been full of crap lately so writing wasn't high on my list of priorities. I should be writing more now though, so updates should be more regular. Sorry again and thank you all for your support. ~BFMS**

* * *

Most students experience one of a few emotions on their first day of school at Hogwarts School or Witchcraft and Wizardry. Some are excited, having heard stories of the magical place from their parents or siblings for most of their life. Others are confident, ready to prove themselves and their magical abilities to the world. And another very common emotion, was fear. Anxiety, nervousness. What if they don't make friends? What if the other students are mean to them? What if they don't get into their desired house? What if they can't do magic? Yes. Fear is very common among first-years.

And the Marauders had every intention of taking advantage of that.

The older students were confused. Over the years, it had become very difficult to discern the Marauders pranks, from when they were just being weird. They stood in the center path of the Hogwarts Express, huddled together in their black robes, whispering and mumbling to each other. As one of the first-years tried to get past, one of the mysterious four, his face shrouded by his long, dark hair, actually _hissed_ at him. This caused the poor student to squeak like a frightened rodent and promptly throw himself into the nearest available seat. The four simply smirked before disappearing to their own seats.

Upon arriving, most of the students were curious about what was going on with their four pranksters. Was this a trick? Had something happened to the over the summer? Had the dark lord gotten to them? None of them knew, and the glares the four were sending out stopped anyone from wanting to ask.

As the first years entered, the friends immediately began whispering just loud enough for the students before them to hear. One poor red-head, paled significantly as he overheard the thin, sickly one point at him and speak.

"That one… need green eyes… that stew we've been wanting to try…"

Sweating profusely, the small boy tried to indiscreetly move away from the table where the four sat. So nervous was he, he nearly jumped out of his skin when his name was called. He managed to forget the strange boys for a few moments as his fear of having his eyeballs cooked was overrun by the fear of putting on the sorting hat.

However, he breathe a sigh of relief as moments later the hat yelled out "GRYFFINDOR!" and the hall cheered. He smiled widely, but faltered a bit when he realized he was joining the table with the four scary teens at the end. He gulped slightly before hurriedly sitting down next to a red-headed witch who smiled kindly at him. He smiled back before finally voicing his thoughts.

"Um, do you know who they are?" He said, nodding towards the boys, who were now discussing the use of pure-blood in potions, causing some of the first-years still waiting to be called to lose a bit of color.

Lily Evans frowned. She was sure this was a trick of some kind, but she didn't know what to do about it. She narrowed her eyes at them as she answered the boy's question.

"Oh. They're the Marauders."

The boy gulped. Although Lily didn't realize it, the way she was glaring at them and the way she spat their names, just made them seem all the more threatening and scary to the young boy. Although, he was able to keep his mind mostly off of them once the food arrived…

Later that night, the boy and some of his fellow Gryffindor first-years were discussing their strange housemates.

"I heard them say they wanted to use my eye balls for a stew!"

"They asked me if I wanted to try to contact the Devil…"

"I saw them chanting over their food during dinner. Said they were 'purifying' it."

"One of them tried to lick me and said my brains smelled delicious!" The boys went silent and stared at the last one.

"Wow. That's-" But before he could finish his statement, they all jumped as they heard a thump coming from the common room.

"It-it was probably nothing, right?" They huddled closer as they heard a second thump and what sounded like voices.

"C-come on, let's check it out…" The boys reluctantly stood and made their way down the stairs. Their eyes widened as they looked into the room and saw four cloaked figures standing in a circle around what looked like a small body. One of them stepped forward, holding a candle below his face, casting terrifying shadows about his features.

"Oh spirits! We feel your anger at newcomers trespassing upon your land. And so, we sacrifice this first-year in hopes of pleasing you!" As he raised what looked like a dagger, the on looking students screamed and ran back to their dorm, never looking back to see the four boys grin and one of them pull the cloak off the pile of blankets on the floor…

The next morning, the new Gryffindor boys were sitting at the table, still huddled together. The rest of their house was confused as to why they were acting this way, as they had passed off the late night screams as simply some of the Hogwarts ghosts causing trouble. The group almost jumped out of their seats when the doors to the Great Hall opened, revealing none other than the source of their terror. One of them grinned evilly at them and ran over. They all cowered, prepared for the end, when all of a sudden…

"HELLOOOO LITTLE FIRSTIES!!!"

…They found themselves being tackled by an overenthusiastic Marauder. He grinned widely at all of them

"The name's Sirius Black! Welcome to Gryffindor, you little lions, you!" The boys were thoroughly confused as they were each hugged/ cuddled by the previously-thought-to-be-the-spawn-of-Satan boy. Next thing they knew, another boy, this one wearing glasses, also came over and began ruffling their hair in a friendly manner.

"Now Sirius, don't smother them!" He smirked at his friend, who was currently latched onto the red-headed first-year and rubbing his face in the poor kid's hair.

"But they're so soft!" He smirked as the other two arrived.

"Well leave it to them to forget their manners. I'm Remus Lupin, this is Peter Pettigrew, James Potter, and Sirius Black. Would you like some cookies?" The first-years' jaws dropped as the tried to comprehend what was going on. They didn't even know what to make of this boy, who had wanted to put them in a stew yesterday, now standing before them holding out a plate of cookies. Peter looked at them before shrugging to Remus.

"I guess they don't like cookies." He then grabbed one and began munching it himself as he turned back to the students. "We're the Marauders. If you ever need help with Slytherins or anything, we're the ones to go to!" Remus glanced up at the clock.

"Gee, it's getting kinda late. Here," He shoved the plate of cookies into the nearest boy's hands. "You can keep these. We must be off to get our schedules. Come on guys. PADFOOT!" Sirius looked up from the latest student he was hugging. Seeing the look Remus was giving him, he rolled his eyes.

"Fine, fine. I'm coming." He gave the kid one last squeeze before skipping after his friends, all of them laughing happily, and leaving a group of very, _very, _confused first-years with a plate of cookies behind them.

* * *

The Marauders were laughing madly by the time they made it to their dorm.

"Oh Merlin, did you see their faces!?"

"Yeah, and when Remus pulled out those cookies!"

"Nice touch Moony!"

"Well I do have my moments." The boys laughed and joked a bit more before leaving for their first class of their fourth year. Sirius lagged behind a bit, but quickly caught up to his friends.

"Guys, I have a good feeling about this year." he said as he glanced at the wall behind him, grinning.

33.) Switching personalities to scare the poor little first-years.

* * *

**And there you have it. Another Symptom taken from my life. We had a party for incoming freshman at my youth group, so me and some friends acted all scary/ goth/ emo/ creepy in general and then hugged them all as they left. The looks on their faces: Priceless. XD**

**Hope you all enjoyed! Sorry again for the prolonged update. Please review! 3  
**


	22. Notes!

**Hey all! Sorry for the slow updates. I have almost given up on ever being able to update anything regularly... So seriously, sorry! Also, I personally don't think this is my best chapter. I've been kinda uninspired lately, so let me know what you think, good or bad! Thanks!**

**

* * *

**

No one, not even Remus Lupin, would ever argue that History of Magic was interesting.

It was the unanimously agreed, most boring class at Hogwarts. Even the teacher seemed bored half the time. This is why it was well known to all that History of Magic was the Mauraders' least favorite class. Remus, despite his boredom, still remained studious and diligently took notes on the monotone lecture. Peter tried to take notes, afraid of failing, but got lost trying to write down the professor's every word. James looked like he was about to fall asleep and Sirius looked like…

Remus did a double take. While he most certainly looked bored, he appeared to be... taking _notes!_ Remus had to focus to keep his jaw from hitting the desk. Sirius didn't take notes in _any _class, let alone History of Magic! The werewolf shook his head. As weird as it was, who was he to discourage him? With a final glance at his friend, Remus turned his attention back to class…

* * *

What Remus didn't realize, was that he was not the only one to notice Sirius' sudden academic activities. James and Peter had noticed too. And while Remus insisted that it was good that their fellow Marauder was finally being productive in his classes, the other two were highly suspicious.

"I think we should investigate." James insisted. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Really, Prongs, don't you think you're overreacting?" James glared at him.

"What if one of the Slytherins got a hold of some polyjuice potion and kidnapped Sirius? We could be living with an imposter while the _real _Padfoot is lying tied up in a cellar somewhere!" Remus sighed.

"James, I highly doubt-"

"We must free him!" James had clearly stopped listening. "The first step is proving this one's a fake. But how…" Peter raised his hand.

"Oh! I know! Why don't we look in his notebook? Maybe we'll recognize the Slytherin's handwriting!" Remus was about to point out how ridiculous this all was, but James was already patting Peter on the back.

"Brilliant, Wormtail! Alright, we'll steal it tonight…" And with that, Moony found himself sucked into another one of James' wild plots…

* * *

"Alright, everyone know the plan?"

"Yes, sir!"

"This is stupid. And don't call Prongs 'sir'. It'll inflate his ego… more…"

"Hush Moony, he's coming." At that moment, Sirius entered the dorm room shared by the four Marauders. Sirius raised an eyebrow seeing his friends all huddled together by James' bed.

"Uh, what's up guys?" He placed his bag on the floor by his own bed, crossing his arms when he noticed how the other three's eyes were fixed on it.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing! Nothing at all! But uh, Peter was wondering if you could go down to the library with him!"

"Why do I need to go with him?" Sirius was getting highly suspicious.

"Come on Padfoot, you know the Slytherins have it out for him! What if he needs back up?" Eyes narrowed, Sirius waited a moment before nodding.

"Fine. Come on Wormtail." Peter quickly jumped up and hurried out the door with him. As soon as the door was shut, James ran over to his bag, fishing around for his friend's notebook.

"Ugh, where is it? It has to be in here somewhere…" Remus came to join him.

"What about that one?"

"No, that's the one he writes pranks down in."

"Oh, right."

"Let's see, maybe it's…"

"Here?" The two boys jumped about three feet in the air. You see…

* * *

**MOMENTS EARLIER!!!**

* * *

"Fine. Come on Wormtail." Peter quickly jumped up and hurried out the door with him. As soon as the door shut, Sirius pressed his ear against it and began listening. Peter began to panic slightly. This was _not _part of the plan!

"P-padfoot, what are you doing? I t-thought we were going to the library?" Sirius rolled his eyes at him.

"Oh please, how stupid do you think I am? I know you guys were just trying to get rid of me." He listened a bit harder, getting a bit angry. "Are they going through my bag?" Standing up straight, he went to open the door.

"Padfoot! Wait!" Peter grabbed onto the back of his robe, hoping to stop him, but only managed to be dragged behind him as he walked behind his two remaining friends. Realizing what they were looking for, he pulled out his tattered notebook from inside his robes.

"Let's see, maybe it's…"

"Here?" Sirius smiled smugly **(hehe, alliteration)** as he watched his two friends gape at him. Suddenly, James lept up, deciding to just come right out and say it…

"We know you're not the real Sirius, imposter!!" Said 'imposter' raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?"

"That's right! We caught on to you when we saw you taking notes in History of Magic! The real Sirius would _never _take notes! So HAH!"

Sirius spent a good minute staring at his best friend before shaking his head and handing over the notebook. James seemed confused, until he opened it up. The other two gathered around as well to look inside the mysterious notebook.

What they found, was pages and pages of tiny stick figures… committing suicide. One was jumping of a cliff, another appeared to be impaling himself with his own wand. Yet another figure seemed to be throwing itself in front of a stampeding herd of hippogriff. And every single figure had a speech bubble next to it with 'History!' inside it. Sirius chuckled at his friends' faces.

"Still think I'm an imposter?" James shook his head as Remus spoke.

"No, you're definitely you but… should we be concerned?" Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Of course not it's just…" He blinked a couple times. "Actually yes. I think you should all be concerned and I should not have to take that class ever again for my health!" Now it was Moony's turn to roll his eyes.

"Nice try, Padfoot, but you fine. Just a little…" He trailed off before quickly turning around only to see James returning to his side.

"Already took care of it." And sure enough, there on the wall was:

34.) Spending your class time drawing suicidal stick figures.

Sirius merely shrugged.

"True enough. But I must also add to the list." He took out a quill and walked over to the parchment.

35.) Being convinced your friend is an imposter simply because he took notes.

James sighed.

"True enough, Padfoot. True enough…"

* * *

**And there you have it. This one actually wasn't based on me! ... It was based on my brother. He showed me his college notebook, and his notes for his economics class consisted entirely of stick figures killing themselves while shouting "Econ!" It was quite possibly the most amazing, slightly disturbing thing I've ever seen. So he gets this chapter. **

**Hope you enjoyed and please review! Also, I could use suggestions if you have any, cause writer's block is kinda killing me. But any feed back (good bad worst) is appreciated! Thanks again!**

**~~~BFMS~~~**


	23. My favorite person would have to be 3rd

**Soooo it's been like, forever (two whole months!) since I've updated, right? Well, I feel _super_ bad about that. SO! To try to make it up to all of you, I am posting not one, not two, not even three, but FOUR CHAPTERS at once! Now, I actually ****think I**** did ok on them (this particular one is a tad short, but what can you do...) but let me know if you do or do not like any of them! I'm sorry again for the uber long wait, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate those of you who still read this story, despite my poor ability to update regularly. Seriously, it means a lot.**

* * *

"Your aim sucks, Prongs."

"Shut up! It was the wind…"

"We're indoors!"

"It's a school for magic, it can have wind indoors if it wants!"

"Whatever, just try again."

"Ok…"

"A little more to the left."

"Hey! No backseat aiming!"

"Alright! Alright! Sheesh…"

"Ready, aim…"

"EEK! POTTER!!!"

Sirius and James shrieked with laughter as they ran from the great hall, having effectively catapulted mashed potatoes with a spoon onto Lucious Malfoy's head. The Slytherin yelled and screeched after them, but found his feet mysteriously glued to the floor, making him unable to pursue them. The two ran until they had returned to their room, slamming the door shut, just in case, still laughing. Remus and Peter looked up. The resident werewolf closed his book and sighed.

"What did you do?"

James looked indignant. "Why do you always assume _we_ did something, Moony? How do you know we didn't just happen upon something funny and rushed back to tell you?"

"Because it's you two."

"Oh, right."

"So what was it this time?"

Sirius grinned. "We did things the old fashioned way this time. Slung some mashed potatoes onto ol' Malfoy's head."

"Very mature, guys."

"Sirius was happy with it." Said Sirius.

James smiled. "Oh yes, James was quite pleased as well."

"Sirius thought it was the lack of magic that made it more original."

"And James felt it was justified because it was Malfoy."

Remus looked at his two friends, raising an eye brow. "Why are you two referring to yourselves in the third person?" Sirius and James looked at each other.

"They're don't know…"

"Once James starts, he finds it surprisingly difficult to stop."

"Sirius agrees."

Remus opened his mouth to comment, when there was a sudden knock at the door. He went over and opened it only to reveal a very miffed Professor McGonagall. She looked sternly at James and Sirius.

"Mr. Black, Mr. Potter. I have just come from the Great Hall. I was called away from my meal to assist Mr. Malfoy who had his feet mysteriously glued to the floor. He also had a pile of mashed potatoes on his head. You wouldn't happen to know anything about this, would you?" The two guilty Marauders exchanged looks.

"They have no idea what you could possibly be implying."

"Indeed. James and Sirius are appalled that such an act could have occurred."

"They do wish people would not commit such childish acts."

"And wish they could help in your quest to put a stop to them."

McGonagall look at them suspiciously. "And why, pray tell, are you speaking in this… unusual manner?"

"They're not entirely sure…"

"…" McGonagall shook her head. "Regardless, I know it was you two. So I expect you both in my office tomorrow after dinner for detention." And with that, the professor left before they could convince, or confuse, her otherwise.

"Darn it! Sirius knew it was a bad idea to do that…"

"What! It was Sirius' idea! James just went along with it!"

"Prongs was the one who actually threw the potatoes!"

"And it was Padfoot who glued his feet to the floor!"

The two glared at each other, only breaking at the suspicious sound of quill on parchment. They looked over just in time to see Moony lowering his pen, fresh ink on the list.

36.) Referring to yourself in the third person.

There was silence for a moment.

"Sirius cannot deny this statement."

"Nor can James."

"Remus is going to shoot himself now."

"Peter will join him…"

* * *

**Yes, I know it was a bit short, but let me know what you think! Me and my friend always do this when we're bored. We once spoke in third person for over 20 minutes. And it really is hard to stop after you start!But then again... we're obviously insane. ;P  
**


	24. Sirius Salon

Marcus Anderson was nothing special (other than being a wizard, of course). He had plain, straight blond hair that went a little past his ears. His skin was not particularly pale, nor particularly tan. His eyes were blue, not stunning or ugly. He was not tall or short. He was over all a very average boy. Other than being a wizard.

But, his plain-ness was also a blessing, for it often made him invisible, allowing him to avoid trouble. Until now.

_Why me? _was the main thought running through Marcus' head at this moment. You see, moments earlier, he had been sitting at his desk in charms, innocently taking notes. He had been thinking about the test they had next class, when he suddenly felt something pulling at his hair. At first, he assumed it was a breeze from the windows, so he simply ignored it. But as time passed, he realized something was definitely _pulling _his hair. He turned his head only to find himself face to face with none other than the infamous marauder himself, Sirius Black.

He only got a glance at him before Sirius pulled Marcus' hair, forcing him to look forward again.

"_Hold still!" _The boy whispered, still fiddling with his confused classmate's hair. Said classmate resisted turning around again, fearing what the marauder was capable of.

Marcus tried to think of what to do. He'd never been in this situation before. Never before had he been the sole victim of one of the maruaders' pranks. Sure, he got caught in the group ones, the ones where the target was everyone in the Great Hall or Common room or wherever they were. But due to his ordinary appearance and mannerisms, not to mention the fact that he was a Gryffindor and not a Slytherin, he'd never been singled out before. And yet here he was, and he had no idea what to do. In fact, he didn't even know what was being done to him! Whispering, hoping not to attract the attention of the professor, he asked Sirius.

"Um, what are you doing?"

"Braiding your hair, duh."

This merely made Marcus speechless again. Braiding his hair? His hair wasn't even that long! And also…

"Uh, why?"

"Cause I'm bored."

Of course. It was common knowledge that most of the Marauders' tricks were spawned from boredom. Marcus still didn't know what to do. He tried to look around without moving his head, for fear of angering Sirius. Where was that one Marauder… Lupin he thinks his name is. He's known as the sane one. The one that, while still undoubtedly a Marauder, would still talk sense into the others when needed. He could see out of the corner of his eye the other three in the middle desk against the wall of the classroom. Sirius had been separated a few classes earlier due to disruptions cause by him and James whenever they were together. Suddenly, Marcus felt his head get pulled back more, forcing him to look at the ceiling.

"Stay put."

Marcus was too out of his element to even try to disobey the command. He briefly considered getting the teacher's assistance, but quickly wrote it off, knowing that turning any of the Marauders in was just asking for more trouble. Much more trouble than braided hair at least. He heard Sirius place things on his desk before resuming his work on Marcus' hair.

Finally, the class was over. Marcus breathed a sigh of relief, glad this whole thing was over with. Except… Sirius was making no move to leave. The rest of the class, even the other Marauders, were leaving. But Sirius stayed put, working on diligently on the boy's hair. Biting his lip, Marcus decided to try and just leave. Cautiously, he stood. Sirius stood with him. He took a step forward. Sirius took a step forward. He sighed. The Marauder would not give up. Marcus walked towards the door, his hair still being braided by Sirius as they walked. He exited the classroom and, upon seeing them chatting in the middle of the hallway, rushed up to the other Marauders. Hair still being braided.

At first, they didn't seem to notice him. He cleared his throat. Once he got their attention, he suddenly found himself very nervous, never before having directly faced the Marauders. Smiling sheepishly, he pointed to the boy behind him, still working.

"Um, I believe this is yours?"

James blinked before smiling and nodding knowingly.

"Ah, I see he got you too."

"What do you mean?"

The three boys turned around, showing Marcus the backs of their heads. His jaw dropped. James' normally messy hair had been done in tiny, tiny braids that still managed to stick up in every direction. Remus' hair had spiraling cornrows in it, while Peter had braids similar to James'. All three had multicolored bows scattered on their heads. They turned back to face Marcus as Peter spoke.

"He got us during Transfiguration."

Marcus blinked a few times, before suddenly realizing something.

"Why didn't you just take them out?"

Marcus felt his blood run cold as Remus shot him an apologetic look while the other two gave him looks of sympathy. His eyes widened, but he didn't even have time to turn around when he felt the tap of a wand against his skull and a tingle of magic passed over his scalp before quickly passing. Sirius stepped back and grinned.

"All done!"

Marcus was still wide-eyed and pale when he ran over to a mirror hanging in the hallway. Remus was nice enough to hand him another mirror so he could see the back of his head. His heart sank more as he saw what had been done to his hair. Sirius had somehow managed to braid a large "SB" on the back of Marcus' head in cornrows. He had surrounded the initials with bright bows and ribbons. Not feeling anything, he almost forgot about the spell Sirius had cast. Anxiously, he began pulling at the braids and ribbons, but they would not budge. No matter how hard he tried he could not get his hair to return to normal. He spun around to stare desperately at Sirius, who merely raised an eyebrow at him.

"What? I didn't put in all that work just for you to get rid of it the moment I finished."

Marcus stood gaping in the hallway. His hair was stuck like this!? Answering his thoughts, Remus gave him a reassuring pat on the back.

"Don't worry, mate. He's done this before. The spell will wear off by tomorrow."

"I'm going to be stuck like this all day!?"

"Hey, if it makes you feel better, we are too."

Marcus turned to Sirius again. He groaned at the Marauder's satisfied grin.

"I can't believe this is happening. It's… it's…" Peter cut him off.

"Don't worry. We added it to the list already."

"The what?"

"The-… you know what, never mind."

After a few more pats and apologies from Remus, Marcus Anderson was left alone in the hallway, dreading the thought of going to his potions class.

* * *

The next morning, four boys in Gryffindor woke up, relieved to find that they were capable of removing their former hairdos. Sirius Black was still grinning. He was almost proud of the newest addition to the ever-expanding list.

37.) Braiding people's hair every time you get bored.

* * *

**You don't want to sit in front of me on long bus rides. Or car rides. Or boring classes. Unless you're a girl. I will rarely braid another girl's hair. Guys are much more fun, cause they always think they're safe. Plus, they can never figure out how I do it since generally, their hair is shorter. Unfortunately, I never have ribbons with me, so that part is not taken from my life. But doing hair is a good way to pass time. ;P**

**Oh, and Marcus Anderson? He's no one. Just a random character I made up for two reasons. 1) to show an outsiders thoughts on the Marauders and 2) to show that Sirius is doing this to someone who is essencially a total stranger. He most likely will never appear again.  
**


	25. Forget Waldo, Where the Heck's my wand?

Peter Pettigrew was in a mild panic.

…

Ok, maybe "mild" was a poor word choice…

Peter Pettigrew was about to have a _panic attack, _is more accurate.

You see, the Marauder had been sitting in his dorm room, bored without his fellow troublemakers. Sirius and James were in morning detention (again) and Remus was still in the hospital wing from his transformation the night before. Nothing to do, he decided he might as well start practicing some of the charms spells they were going to be tested on in a few days. Sitting up, he reached over to his bedside table to grab his wand.

It wasn't there.

Peter scrunched his eyebrows. He could have sworn he put it there. He stood up, looking at the spot where he had been sitting to see if he had been sitting beside or on it. It wasn't there either. This is the point were he begins to get worried. He turned to look on the floor. Maybe it had fallen off the side table? But no, it was nowhere to be found. _Now _he is in a "mild panic". He quickly began running around the room, throwing the clothes and books on the ground, looking under beds, shoving papers off desks. But still, no wand. Suddenly, a though occurred to him.

_I had it when we went to the shrieking shack last night… what if I left it there!? _

Cue panic attack.

Peter's family wasn't super poor, but they weren't rich either. If he had to get a new wand, he'd be dead! And how could he go to his classes until he got a new one? No, he simply _had _to find his wand. No matter what.

With this in mind, the Marauder straightened his shoulders and tried to act confident as he left the room to go to the shrieking shack for the second time in two days.

Upon arriving, he found himself incredibly lucky that no one was around. Normally, as dangerous as the tree may be, students would gather outside on Sundays and were almost always in view of it. Glancing around just to be extra careful, Peter quickly turned himself into a rat, running into the tunnel under the tree. He scurried as fast as he could along the path until he finally reached the exit.

Despite knowing full well that nothing resided within the decrepit building (other than the occasional werewolf, which he was well aware currently resided in the Hogwarts Hospital Wing), Peter couldn't help but be cautious as he opened the door from the tunnel. He glanced around quickly before stepping into the room, human once more. Daylight took away some of the eeriness the house seemed to possess, but he was still a bit edgy. Not to mention, if someone caught him here, he'd be in sooo much trouble.

Quickly getting to work, Peter began searching for his wand. He moved some of the torn furniture, seeing if it had fallen under something. He swept away dirt and debris, search between loose floorboards, looked everywhere he could think of. No wand. Luckily, despite his search, the room looked pretty much the same as when he had entered.

Peter felt like crying from frustration as he headed back down the tunnel to return to Hogwarts. He didn't know where else to look. His panic was beginning to escalate. As he exited the tunnel, carefully making sure to be unseen, he checked the time. His three friends should have long since returned to their room. Perhaps they could help him look more.

Running desperately down the halls, even ignoring an angry Filch's reprimands about running indoors, Peter raced to the dorm room. After a few minutes, he burst into the room inhabited by the four Marauders, all of which snapped their heads too look at him as he entered.

"Wormtail! Where have you been?"

"And what the heck happened to the room?"

Peter gasped as he waved his hands anxiously.

"You guys gotta help me! I can't find my wand and I've been looking everywhere! If I don't find it I'm going to be in SO much trouble!"

Wormtail looked at his friends expectantly, waiting for them to leap into action, to come up with a plan to help him get through this crisis. However, he felt himself getting angry as they did… nothing. The three exchanged a look before James spoke.

"So… who wants to tell him?" Remus sighed.

"One of you do it, I'm too sore to move."

James shrugged before standing up and walking over to Peter. He then lifted his hand and brought it up behind Peter's ear, pulling out… his wand. Peter's jaw dropped as James handed the wooden object to him. He was still staring wide-eyed at the wand, his mouth now opening and closing without making a sound, when Sirius began scribbling on the parchment hung on the back wall of the boys' room.

38.) Losing your wand when it's behind your ear the whole time.

The three Marauders then resumed their previous activities, ignoring their fourth friend still standing, shocked, in the center of the room.

It wasn't till ten minutes later that the whole Gryffindor house heard Peter's indignant screech.

* * *

**We all know someone who's done it. Lost their glasses when they were on their head or around their neck or LOOKING THROUGH THEM (*cough*my mom!*cough*). And we all know this would happen to Peter. Poor guy just can't catch a break can he?**


	26. Side Effects of Insomnia

Full Chapter Title:

**(Symptoms of Insanity are Side Effects of Insomnia)

* * *

**

Remus Lupin resembled a zombie. Which is quite ironic considering he is actually a werewolf.

His most recent transformation had been Saturday night, two nights ago. It was now Monday morning, and he was dead tired. His skin was pale (well, paler than usual) and he had dark circles under his eyes. He dragged his feet as he walked, his whole body feeling like lead. Sore lead. His professors probably would have excused him if he wanted to skip classes and rest, but he didn't like missing lessons if he didn't absolutely have too. It was just, he had a lot of trouble sleeping the few nights before and after a transformation.

Around two nights before the full moon, he began to get very uncomfortable, like his whole skin itched and didn't fit quite right. Once he did get to sleep, he would often wake up burning hot, kick off his covers, only to wake again later to find himself freezing cold. After the full moon, even though he had been hurting himself less with the help of his friends, his whole body still ached, making it hard for him to find a comfortable position to sleep in.

Remus shook his head, trying to wake himself up more. He should be use to this by now! Squaring his shoulders, he entered the charms room with his three friends in front of him. The Marauders sat down in their usual seat towards the back as Professor Flitwick began his lesson. Remus tried to concentrate and take notes, but it was difficult when he was so tired. However, he noticed with an appreciative smile, his three normally slacking friends were diligently taking notes, trying to get as much down for the worn out werewolf to look at later if he needed to.

As the class went on, he noticed his friends shooting him concerned looks more and more often. He found this odd since, while he was sure he looked like death, they should be use to him looking like this the first couple of days after a transformation. He didn't know what their problem was. After a while, Peter leaned over, whispering.

"Moony, are you ok?" Remus blinked.

"Yeah, why?" Peter pointed down under the table. Remus looked and saw that he had been shaking his right leg. He hadn't even noticed himself doing that! He shook his head and stilled his leg.

"Oh, sorry guys." The only response he got were understanding smiles. The class continued uninterrupted for a while again. However, a few minutes later, James tapped Remus' shoulder. Once he got his attention, he pointed under the table again. Remus looked and saw his leg had been twitching again. Actually, he was getting a bit fidgety in general now. He felt like he had been injected with caffeine or something. He felt exhausted yet… awake? But that didn't make sense…

Soon, the professor ended the lesson, stating that the students could have free time until class was over. The Marauder quickly huddled together.

"Are you alright Moony?" Asked Sirius, concerned for his friend. Remus nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired." The others exchanged a look, but decided to let id drop as they headed towards transfiguration. When they arrived, McGonagall looked a bit surprised to see Remus among them, but did not comment on it. The lesson itself wasn't very long, and soon they were told to make the rats is front of them disappear.

As the class got to work, Remus found himself staring at the animal, wand raised, leg twitching, and absolutely no idea what to do. It was true, he felt strangely more awake, yet he hadn't seemed to hear anything that McGonagall said.

"Moony?"

Remus turned slightly, seeing that James and the others were looking at him, worried again.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

Remus blinked, but other than that did nothing. In his mind, his thoughts were a jumble.

_He asked me something. Right? I suppose I should answer. What do I say? What did he ask in the first place? Heh, this rat is cuter than Peter is when he transforms… was that mean? He never liked being compared to a rat anyways so…_

"Moony? Hey, Moony!" Remus blinked as Sirius snapped his fingers in front of his face. He turned to see his friends looking very concerned, he assumed for a good reason. He looked over at Peter, suddenly remembering his previous thoughts, and began chuckling. This just confused the others more.

"Uh, what's so funny Remus?"

"Hehehe, Peter's uh rah nghm cuhl nn." James, Sirius and Peter exchanged alarmed glances. Even Remus seemed confused by what he had just said.

"Um, come again?"

"Pen rha-… Pern Ruhmn-… Ugh! Petgh Rawfnl ghk…" Remus shook his head. His leg, and now his hand, was still twitching and he couldn't seem to make his mouth form words. It was all quite frustrating. He took a deep breath before attempting to speak again one word at a time.

"Petur… iz… ah… rat." He suddenly burst into giggles, although he wasn't sure why, since what he had said wasn't particularly funny. He found himself laughing a bit harder as James and Sirius each grabbed one of his arms and pulled him out of the room while Peter stayed behind to explain the situation to McGonagall.

He was still laughing when the Padfoot and Prongs released him in the hallway. His whole body was practically shaking. He resembled Sirius on a sugar-high.

"Moony? Do you want us to take you to back to our room? Or to the hospital wing maybe?"

_Hm, James is speaking again. I should try answering…_

"Ey, Prongssz… You like Gryffndar, right?" James looked confused at the random question, Moony himself wasn't quite sure where he had come up with it.

"Uh, yeah?" Remus grinned, suddenly feeling very energetic.

"What was that spell you assidently hit Sirius with that one time? The one that messed up his hair? Oh right…" Remus whipped out his wand and said a quick spell, James' hair suddenly turning bright, hot pink. James shrieked and Sirius couldn't help but join Moony against the wall, laughing. Moony rubbed at his eyes.

"Haha, My bad Prongz. It was suppose to be Gryffindor red."

"Ha, I think, haha, I like this better!" James glared at the two of them. Remus abruptly looked up at them, still smiling.

"Can we go outside?" His two friends were once again confused.

"What?"

"Outside. Can we go there. I need to run."

"Wait, wait… you want to run? Is that such a good idea?" Not only was Sirius concerned with his friend's current mental state, but he knew Remus was usually pretty sore after his transformations. But the were wolf just nodded, holding up his shaking and twitching hands.

"Yeah. Yes. I need to run. Gotta lot of energy. Running will help. Will have less energy after. See? Need to run. Yes."

"Um, maybe we should…" James trailed off. It was quite clear Remus was no longer listening. He was staring off into space, a blank look on his face. He snapped his fingers in front of his face like Sirius had.

"Moony! Come on, snap out of it!" Remus blinked a couple of times.

"Prongs?"

"Yeah. Look, I think we should get you back to bed for a while." Remus started laughing.

"Uh, what's so funny?" Remus stopped laughing.

"I'm not sure… You guys wanna play a game of exploding snap? Or where's Snivillus, I need to do something…"

"How about we go back to the common room and do something there?" Remus appeared to be thinking for a moment before smiling widely.

"Ok!" The three then returned to the Gryffindor common room, Remus humming and practically skipping in between James and Sirius. Once there, the two (currently) sane Marauders actually began to enjoy watching Remus. He kept laughing at nothing and throwing pillows at them and jumping up and down and occasionally slipping into gibberish. After about forty minutes (and some very satisfying photos) Remus finally began to calm down. By the time class ended and Peter returned, the werewolf had passed out on the floor next to the couch. The three smiled at each other.

Wordlessly, James gently picked up his thin friend, carrying him back to their room followed by the other two. A few minutes later, the three Marauders were quietly exiting the room, switching off the lights before slipping out to try to fix James' hair.

Meanwhile Remus lay, sleeping soundly in his bed with the covers carefully pulled around him and the smell of fresh ink still lingering.

39.) Becoming so tired, you actually become super hyper.

* * *

**I have suffered from insomnia since seventh grade, and while I'm not sure how it is for other people, one day every week and a half or so, this is essentially what happens to me. I seriously get so tired I go a little, well, insane. The laughter and hyperness, all things my friends and family have to deal with. And I really do have a lot of trouble speaking on days like that. So all those misspelled words (at least when Remus is speaking) are on purpose. **

**Well, I hope these chapters satisfy all of you, and I would like to once again express my apologies for being such a terrible updater. But thank you all for reading and I shall try my hardest to get better! Till next chapter (hopefully sooner than these ones)!**

**~~~BFMS~~~**


	27. Please Don't Break Me

**Hey all! So, a couple things: First off, while I personally don't think this is the _best _chapter I've written, I still think it's pretty good. At least it didn't take nearly as long as some of the others, right? Which brings me to my second point...**

**Princess Ducky. I love you. And I mean that in the least creepy way possible. XD But seriously, thanks a million for the suggestion! You rock!

* * *

**

Remus put his head in his hands, a vain attempt to physically separate himself from those he had somehow come to call "friends".

"Ready?" James grinned at Sirius, challenging him. Sirius merely returned the grin.

"Always."

"On three…"

"One,"

"two,"

"THREE!!" And with that, the two Gryffindors promptly began to stuff there faces, shoveling food from the Halloween feast as fast as they could into their mouths. Remus and Peter each held up empty plates as shield to protect themselves from the backlash of food as it was flew from forks and mouths. This went on for almost all of dinner, until the friends finally collapsed on the table, groaning from too full stomachs.

"So… much… fooood…." Sirius moaned, not even lifting his head from the table.

"I… agree…." James was in a similar state. Turning to look at the other, he continued. "Hey, padfoot… do you think there's like… a record… for most food eaten in one sitting?" The other boy merely shrugged. "cause I think we might have broken it." Remus shook his head at the two. They were impossible, really.

Suddenly, all four looked up at the sound of chuckling. Standing- or rather _floating- _in front of them, was none other than the Gryffindor ghost, Nearly-headless Nick.

"Oh ho, my boys, I'm afraid you have not broken such a record."

"What!?"

"Why yes. I'm afraid that record belongs to our very own Rubus Hagrid. It the first day of his first year, and when the food appeared, well, he cleared half the table by himself! Always had such an appetite, that boy…"

Remus tilted his head to the side. "Wow. I'm surprised you still remember that. It was a while ago, right?"

The ghost nodded. "Yes, but whenever a student breaks some sort of record, well, they're remembered _forever." _

Remus cringed. He didn't even have to look, he could _sense _the gleam in Padfoot and Prongs' eyes at the prospect of going down in Hogwarts History. Pinching the bridge of his nose, the werewolf had a very bad feeling about this week…

* * *

"Please, _please _reconsider!"

"Come on, Moony, it'll be fine!"

"Fine? FINE!? You've got nine people on a cleansweep!"

Indeed, the two Marauders had somehow managed to recruit other idiots into their newest scheme of breaking as many school records as they could. No matter how ridiculous.

"Well, the record was seven..."

"...but we _really _wanted to outdo them!"

Remus didn't even want to try to comprehend some of the positions some of the students on the broom were in. All he knew, was that he was relatively certain people weren't suppose to bend that way…

"Alright! Let's go!" And with that, James kicked off the ground as hard as he could. The broom hovered a few feet, teetering dangerously, but staying afloat nonetheless. All those on the broom gave a mighty cheer.

"Yeah! We did it!"

Sirius pondered for a moment before turning back to James. "Ey Prongs, what do you think is the record for farthest flown with nine people on a broom?"

"Well, considering they've never gotten nine people on a broom before, there isn't one."

"Well why don't we just kill two birds with one stone, eh?" The two grinned mischievously at each other, and before Remus had a chance to open his mouth to object, they were taking off down the field they were in. Admittedly, they weren't exactly flying super fast, but still fast enough to concern the sane(r) one of the group. Sirius laughed.

"Higher, James! Higher!"

"No! No higher!" But Remus' pleas were unheard, and the broom rose higher into the air. It was not long until the completely expected happened: They fell. All nine of them.

Remus flinched as he heard the nine 'thuds' accompanied by a mixture of groaning and laughing. Take a wild guess who was laughing.

"That. Was. AWESOME!"

"Seriously! We broke a record, _and_ started our own!"

Moony sighed, before turning to the other participants of the record breaking.

"None of you are seriously hurt, are you?" After receiving seven head shakes to confirm that none had been injured, he shook his own head and walked away, hoping this whole thing was over with.

…

Poor, naïve Remus…

* * *

The next few days were… stressful. In the past two days, James and Sirius had so far succeeded in breaking the records for closest person to swim to giant squid without being maimed (Sirius rode it), and number of Butter Beers drank without getting sick (James managed 13). The four Marauders were now sitting together in their dorm room, James still recovering slightly from their last escapade. Suddenly, Sirius piped up.

"So, what are we going to do next?"

Remus groaned. "Please, no more record breaking. I don't think any one would be able to handle it."

James sat up. "Come on, Moony! We've barely done anything yet! We've got to think of something that will _really _make us remembered."

There was a moment of silence as they all tried to think of other records to break. It was then that Peter said probably one of the stupidest things one could say in that situation:

"Do you think there's a record for most pranks pulled in a day?"

The mousy boy didn't quite know what to do with himself as James and Sirius grabbed his arms, jumping up and down while chanting "We love you! We love you!" at the same time as Remus lay face down on the carpet wailing "I hate you! I hate you!"

Needless to say, the school was in danger.

* * *

They attacked at dawn.

Seriously, they actually managed to wake up early enough to prank the school before the sun was even fully up. As it was, the four houses of Hogwarts awoke to find a most peculiar thing had happened to their common and dorm rooms. The house colors had switched. Slytherin was now decorated with yellow and black, Ravenclaw with silver and green, Hufflepuff with red and gold, and Gryffindor with blue and bronze. Not only that, but the guardians of the houses had been tampered with as well. The Ravenclaw door now asked questions like, "Who is the sexiest Gryffindor?" and "What is my favorite color? Never bothered to find out before now, did you?". Meanwhile, the Gryffindor portrait of the fat lady had been replaced by a painting of a rock that would only open the door if complimented.

Once reaching the great hall, they found that certain foods turned your hair different colors, while others turned you skin different colors. Drinks caused you to either make animal noises, sing, or speak a different language.

In the hallways, the stairs now hiccupped when stepped on, and sobbed about being all alone in the world when empty.

During transfiguration, McGonagall was shooting the Marauders almost constant glares, knowing that they were behind the chaos but, until finding proof, could nothing about it. As she began her lesson, Sirius and James placed their wands beneath their desks, muttering spells softly under their breaths. After a few minutes, every text book in the classroom was transfigured into a different animal, running about the room and into the hallway. Opening the door to chase after the book/animals, both students and teachers found that the spell had been cast on every class room. As such, most of the day was spend chasing the animals down, transfiguring them back into books, and finding the appropriate class in which they belonged (all the while attempting to dodge conveniently placed buckets of soapy water). Remus shook his head.

"You managed to prank every class at once?"

James and Sirius merely grinned with pride.

The day continued as such, a few people grew extra limbs, only to find they were seeing things. Inanimate objects criticized scared first years. Bubbles that sprayed paint when popped appeared out of nowhere.

As dinner ended that night, leaving many students covered in some sort of sticky, pink substance and jumping at the sounds of explosions that had replaced the usual magic sky on the ceiling, Dumbledore stood. Although many hoped he was going to bring the pranks to an end or at least punish someone, they all knew this was not very likely, seeing as the old professor was smiling as he sucked on his glasses (they had been turned into candy earlier in the day).

"Well, I think this has been a fine day! I would like to confirm however, the students to which to credit these strange happenings?"

At that moment, a particularly loud explosion rang from above the hall. Looking up, the people in the hall saw the normal sky had returned, but with a message written out it flashing lights.

NEW RECORD FOR MOST PRANKS IN A DAY, COURTESY OF THE MARAUDERS!

Immediately, most of the students and teachers began shooting glares at the two black-haired student who were currently trying (and failing) to contain their laughter. Dumbledore continued smiling.

"I must say, well done boys. I award 50 points to Gryffindor, for a new record, and an amazing show of spell work throughout the day."

Suddenly, it was only the teachers and three of the house tables glaring at the boys. The Gryffindor table had erupted into cheers, suddenly not minding the prank filled day so much…

* * *

"Well, needless to say I think you'll be remembered for quite some time."

"Seriously! We should have done this a long time ago! We're naturals!"

The four friends laughed as they discussed the events of the day, every now and then shooting glances at the new addition to their list.

40.) Breaking a record through pranking.

* * *

**And there you have it! Hope you enjoyed, but please let me know either way. Also, suggestions are always welcomed (as demonstrated with this chapter) as writer's block has apperantely become my new best friend. XP Actually, I think I have an idea for the next chapter, so we'll see how that works out. Regardless, I'm hoping new chapters wont be taking as long. So don't give up on me yet! Thanks again all! **


	28. Exclamation Point Question Mark?

**Hey all! So, all things considered, at least this chapter didn't take as long as some of the others, right? Hehe, well hope you enjoy!

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**

It was such an innocent question. So innocent, in fact, that even Remus Lupin, who knew full well just what his three counterparts were capable of, did not expect anything to come of it. And yet…

"Hey Sirius, what's today's date?"

"Uh, the 19th, question mark?"

...

And so it began…

James, Remus, and Peter all snapped their heads around to stare confusedly at the fourth marauder. Sirius continued zoning out until he noticed his friends' looks and raised an eyebrow.

"The 20th?"

James shook his head. "Wait, wait… What did you say before?"

"The 19th? Well sorry if I can't always get the date right-"

"No, I mean, did you…_say…_ 'question mark'?"

"Oh that. Yeah, why?"

"I don't know. Don't you find it a little strange to say 'question mark' when the question mark is kind of implied?"

Sirius grinned and shrugged. "I guess, question mark?"

The other three just shook their heads, not really wanting to delve into the inner workings of their friend's mind. So it was dropped. For the moment. For you see, the next day…

The marauders (minus Remus) were shaking in their seats as McGonagall made her way around the classroom, handing back the exams from the previous class. It had been challenging, and worth a lot of points, so most of the students were extremely nervous at the prospect of seeing their grade. The four snatched their papers up as soon as they were out of the professor's hands.

There was a moment of silence…

"WHOO!!" James leapt from his seat, soon followed by the others as well as the rest of the classroom (well, the ones who didn't fail). Peter hugged James.

"I got an 80! That's a B!"

"I got an 86!"

"83 for me!"

"I got a-"

"We know you did great, Remus. No one needs to hear the numbers."

"I can't believe we all passed!"

"I know! We were panicked for nothing!"

"Well I say tonight we CELEBRATE!"

"Definitely, exclamation point!"

No one else in the room noticed due to their own excitement, but James, Remus, and Peter found themselves suddenly staring dumbly at Sirius, who was still smiling widely at his score. Remus, being the diplomatic one, spoke first…

"The _heck _did you just say?"

Sirius looked up. "What? I was just agreeing!"

James hit him over the head. "Not that, Padfoot! You said 'exclamation point'."

"So. I though it was exciting enough to warrant an exclamation point."

"But why-"

"Eh hum."

The four Gryffindor turned at the sound of a throat being cleared to find McGonagall standing in front of them. Behind her was…no one.

"Don't you four have _other_ classes to attend?"

After a beat of silence, the Marauders rushed out of the classroom, hoping they weren't late.

* * *

Closing the door to their dorm room, James turned around to see Peter and Remus putting their books away while Sirius flopped down on his bed, leaving his things haphazardly on the floor. James shook his head.

"Ok, so we need to have a talk, Padfoot."

Sirius sat up so he was facing James. "Look, if this is about that spell I cast on Peter-"

"WHAT!?"

James shook his head, ignoring Peter. "No, not that. I'm talking about in McGonagall's class earlier."

"Wait, what spell did you cast?"

"Oh yeah, we were gonna celebrate our grades right, question mark?"

"That! Wait, I mean no! Well, yes, but that's not what I'm talking about!"

"It wasn't something dangerous right?" Peter still tried to get their attention.

Remus joined in as well. "Prongs is talking about how you've suddenly found it necessary to speak all of your grammatical symbols."

Sirius frowned. "I'm not speaking _all_ of them."

"Whatever spell you used will wear off, right?"

"Shut up Peter!" "Exclamation point!"

Peter jumped as his three friends spoke at the same time (with Sirius adding something extra). James turned back to Sirius.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, comma, if I was speaking _all _of my grammatical symbols, comma, it would probably sound something like this, period."

After thinking for a minute, James suddenly grinned. "Ah, comma, I think I get it, period. So it'd be something like this, comma, right, question mark?"

Sirius grinned back. "Exactly, exclamation point! See, question mark? It's fun, exclamation point!"

James giggled. "Yeah, exclamation point! I wonder how crazy Mcgonagall or the other teachers would get if we talked like this all the time, comma, even during class, exclamation point!"

Suddenly, Remus turned to James. "Wait, I think you mean, 'I wonder how crazy McGonagall, comma, or the other teachers, comma, would get if we talked like this all the time, period. Even during class, period.'"

James shook his head. "No, no, no, period. That's-"

" 'No, comma, no, comma, no, comma." Sirius interrupted. James glared at him before turning back to Remus and continuing.

"That's way to many commas, period. Plus, comma, I used it as a compound sentence, comma, so there would be no period in the middle, period."

Sirius piped up again. "I think if you used it as a compound sentence, comma, you'd need a conjunction, period. Like, comma, quote, 'I wonder how crazy McGonagall, comma, or the other teachers, comma, would get if we talked like this all the time, comma, such as during class, period. Un-quote'."

James shook his head. "That's still too many commas, exclamation point!"

"Well, comma, some sentences just have a lot of commas, exclamation point!"

"I also still think it's suppose to be a comma instead of a period separating the two ideas, period."

"No, comma, the way you worded it, comma, the two separate ideas would be distinguished by a period, period."

Peter, having finally decided that whatever spell had been cast on him couldn't be that bad, unfortunately spoke up.

"I'm pretty sure you could use a semicolon."

Peter flinched as the three boys groaned loudly. Sirius put a hand over his face.

"Why'd you have to go and bring semicolons into this, question mark?"

"They've got to be the most annoying mechanical symbol involved in grammar, exclamation point!"

Peter frowned at them. "Hey, comma, it's not my fault, exclamation point! You can't just exclude a grammatical symbol just because you don't like it, exclamation point!"

Sirius glared back. "They aren't even anything, exclamation point! I mean, comma, what, question mark? Are they a colon, comma, are they a comma, comma, make up your mind, exclamation point!"

"That doesn't make them any less real, exclamation point!"

"They're worthless symbols, exclamation point! Where ever you would use a semicolon you could just use a comma or a period, period."

"Well don't get mad at me for that, exclamation point!"

"Will you two stop yelling, exclamation point!"

"You forgot a question mark, exclamation point!"

"Stop correcting me, exclamation point!"

"You asked a question with no question mark, exclamation point! What was I suppose to do, question mark?"

"I was using it as a command, exclamation point!"

"Well I-"

"WHY ARE WE EVEN HAVING THIS ARGUMENT, QUESTION MARK EXCLAMATION POINT!?"

James, Peter, and Sirius all turned to stare at a panting Remus. For a few minutes there was silence, no one wanting to say anything. Finally, Remus sighed, picking up a quill and walking over to the back wall. Giggling, Sirius jumped off his bed, grabbing his own quill and following Remus. As soon as Remus stepped back from the parchment, Sirius reached down to add to it himself. As Remus looked on, he rolled his eyes before walking away.

41.) Speaking all grammatical symbols _(Period)._

* * *

**Guilty as charged. I do this _all _the time. (Well, I don't do the commas, but I do speak my exclamation points and question marks. XP ).**

**So, you know what's fun? Updates. Know what's not fun? College apps and English projects consisting of reading two 600 page books, two 5 page essays, an in-class essay, and a 12 page mega essay that's worth a couple hundred points. Hehe, yeah. So just a heads up for all you guys, unless I'm super inspired, the updates are going to be a bit slow for the next couple months. There will be updates, they'll just be a little more spread out. (Unless, like I said, I have/ one of you gives me an idea that I simply must post). But don't think I've abandoned the story or anything!**

**Well, hope you enjoyed and please let me know what you think/ any suggestions you have! Thanks a million!  
**


	29. Enter if you dare!

**I HATE HOMEWORK. **

**Nuff said. Enjoy the chapter.

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**

Silence rang through the room as the door was thrown open loudly as two panting figures stumbled in.

"It's ok!"

"We're here!"

"Call off the search parties!"

"You see,"

"We were diligently on our way to class,"

"When a disgruntled messenger owl reached us!"

"Attached was a letter saying that little Timmy was trapped in a well!"

"His fate rested in our hands!"

"We knew we could be late to our beloved class,"

"But we decided that it was a risk we had to take!"

"But everyone's fine now so no worries."

"…"

Sirius Black and James Potter wilted a bit under Professor McGonagall's glare.

"As happy as I am to know of… little Timmy's… safety, you still get detention."

The boys sighed as they mumbled "yes mam" and headed to their seats. McGonagall turned back to the board before speaking again.

"And next time, let's try to avoid the dramatic entrances."

Remus groaned as James and Sirius exchanged a look. He hated it when they exchanged looks. If he had his way, they'd both be blindfolded at all times. But alas, he could already see the wheels turning in his friends' heads…

* * *

Remus threw his bag onto his bed with a sigh before turning to face his two friends, placing his hands on his hips. "Just tell me now so I don't have to find out later."

James and Sirius tried to look innocent, although they were getting a little scared at how good Remus was getting at picking up on these things.

"We're sure we have no idea what you're talking about."

"Cut the crap, Prongs. I know you two are up to something, or will be very soon. So just tell me now so I can know how much aspirin to take."

The two in front of him exchanged a quick look. James rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"Well, it's just that…"

"McGonagall thought _that _was a dramatic entrance? Hah! That was nothing!"

Sirius, blunt as ever, finished his explanation with a wide, devious grin. Remus merely nodded before walking from the room.

"Right. Five aspirin then…"

* * *

If he was honest with himself, Remus wasn't really surprised at all by the way the day went.

First class of the day, Charms, saw Remus sitting beside Peter, with their two companions once again mysteriously absent. The professor was going down the list in front of him to call roll. As he finished, he frowned.

"Where are Mr. Potter and Mr. Black?"

At that exact moment, the entire class whipped their heads around as the door began to rattle and shake. After a few seconds of painful anticipation, the door burst open, revealing a massive shock of color in the form of several fireworks. As the colorful dust cleared, Sirius and James were revealed, standing in all their glory, grinning like the madmen they were.

While most of the class was confused, Remus put his head on his desk, fully expecting his two friends to receive some form of punishment that they would later complain to him about. However, he was surprised when Professor Flitwick laughed merrily and clapped his hands together.

"Wonderful! Simply wonderful! 15 points to Gryffindor for that splendid display of charms work!"

Half the class (the half that was not Gryffindor) was dismayed as the other half (Gryffindor) cheered while at the same time wondering how exactly the Marauders always seemed to get points for their mischief…

* * *

Next class, Defense Against the Dark Arts. This years teacher was a relatively young man, most likely in his thirties, who seemed convinced that evil was everywhere.**(1)** His lessons often went something along the lines of, "Pay attention because there could be a vampire right outside the door! Walk around corners carefully because someone could be waiting to curse you! It's not paranoia if they're really after you!" Most of the class was convinced he was on the run from something or another. Regardless, when the lights suddenly went out and smoke came out of the floor, he began to panic. The students didn't know whether to be more concerned about whatever was going on or their teacher's mental state. Suddenly, two figures seemed to rise from our of the floor. The professor began to shriek, flailing his arms around.

"DARK THINGS! DARK THINGS! DEFEND YOURSELVES!!!"

Of course, he himself was too panicked to grab his own wand. Luckily, before anyone else could think to throw a spell or two, the lights returned, revealing James and Sirius, once more standing triumphantly.

The rest of the students were once again appalled at the boys' ability to get away with what seemed like anything. Sure, they didn't gain any points this time, but they didn't loose any either.

The professor had passed out.

* * *

Remus sighed. Final class of the day: Potions. He put his head in his hands, preparing for the next entrance.

He didn't have to wait long. Just as the lesson was about to start, the class looked up as music began to play. It sounded familiar, and Remus racked his brains as to where he had heard it before. He turned as Peter nudged him.

"Hey, isn't this the "Mission Impossible" theme song?"

Remus blinked. Ah, so that's what it was. Suddenly, there was crash from above. Everyone looked up to see James and Sirius bursting through the ceiling, suspended from cables and looking like characters from some cliché muggle spy film.

However, just as the two were grinning, there was a small snapping sound. Looking up, Padfoot and Prongs were faced with the sight of the cord holding Sirius up slowly tearing. Just as the rope snapped, Sirius let out a shrill cry and threw himself at James, wrapping his arms around his friend to keep from falling. James cried out in surprise at the sudden added weight.

"Ah! Sirius, I don't think-" His statement was cut off as his cord snapped as well, unable to hold both of the boys. They both screamed as they plummeted to the ground. Luckily, there was something there to break their fall…A large cauldron filled with a thick, orange substance.

Unable to hold both students, the cauldron tipped over, covering the two Marauders and the floor with the bright liquid. Coughing and sputtering, the friends used each other as supports to shakily stand. Sirius wiped the potion from his eyes and face.

"Ugh, Professor Slughorn, what is this stuff!?"

The man look at the scene in front of him, hand on his chin contemplatively. After a moment, he let out a chuckle and shrugged.

"You know, I'm not entirely sure!"

"WHAT!?"

"Oh, calm down boys. I'm sure any effects would have occurred by now."

James opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly closed it, a quizzical look on his face. Finally, he turned to Sirius, confused.

"It tastes like pumpkin."

Sirius looked at him like he was crazy. "What?" But after licking his own lips, he realized that his friend was correct. It did taste like pumpkin. Professor Slughorn snapped his fingers in realization.

"Ah, that's right! I remember now! Dumbledore is hosting a little potluck for the teachers later and I was going to bring some of my famous pumpkin pudding!"

"Oh. Well, it's delicious!"

"Thank you, Mr. Black. Now if you would please clean yourselves up, I believe I'm still required to teach you all something."

The Gryffindor side of the room heaved a sigh. It seemed that once again, no points had been lost. Only a large batch of strange pudding…

* * *

Remus groaned as Padfoot and Prongs exited their dorm room, laughing. He had no doubt that they were planning another entrance for dinner that night. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. He sighed and sat up. He turned to the only other person in the room.

"Peter, would you mind helping me with something?"

Desperate times call for desperate measures…

* * *

Sirius and James were smiling as they ate their dinner. They had successfully levitated each other into the Great Hall, floating above the startled students as they threw confetti over their heads. They were surprised, however, to find Remus and Peter missing, but shrugged it off as they tucked into their own meals.

But before they could get very far, they were halted by the sound of blaring trumpets. They, along with everyone else in the school, turned as the doors to the Great hall were thrown open. A long red carpet rolled down the center aisle, framed by shimmering gold glitter that hovered along the edges and covered the entrance. After a moment, the glitter parted, revealing peter, dressed in a deep red, royal looking robe, leading a group of eight Gryffindor first years who were carrying an elaborate gold and red throne.**(2)** Upon the seat, sat none other than Remus Lupin, looking calm and collected as usual in his ornate crown and robe and holding a powerful looking scepter. As they walked down the carpet, the glitter popped in golden fireworks, and the trumpets continued to sound from no where. Meanwhile, the student looked up as the banners in the hall changed, becoming deep red with the words "ALL HAIL REMUS LUPIN, KING OF HOGWARTS" in gold writing. The magic sky also changed, turning to pure white clouds with a single beam of light shining through, illuminating Remus as he was carried to his seat. When he was finally lowered to the ground, he gracefully stood and sat across from his two shocked companions while the wizards behind him transfigured his chair into a throne matching the one he had just exited. Peter then pulled out a long piece of official looking parchment before addressing the people of the school.

"The king has arrived! You may all resume your meal!" And with that, he too took a seat, followed by the other accomplices. There was silence in the hall as Remus casually ate his food, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Sirius and James just sat there, eyes wide and mouths hanging open. Finally, as the rest of the students seemed to snap out of it, the two Marauders shook their heads in amazement.

"I don't think we can beat that."

Remus grinned, not even looking at them.

"That's the point."

* * *

Remus laughed as he looked at the newest item on the list. He knew he shouldn't have let James and Sirius be the ones to write it. He shook his head, still smiling as he made his way to bed, glancing back one last time at the words, decorated with a myriad of pen strokes.

* * *

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

42.) -!!!*{[( **DRAMATIC ENTRANCES!!!**)]}*!!!-

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

* * *

**Ok, so I haven't done these _exactly, _but my friends and I do enjoy going a bit over the top when entering a room. XD Oh, and a couple little notes:**

**(1) Obviously, I don't know who the DADA teacher was during the Marauders' fourth year, so he is entirely made up to suit the situation. **

**(2) In case you were wondering how Remus got eight first-years to join in this, they owed him a favor. He tutored them and saved their grades. Or so says the author. DON'T QUESTION ME!**

**Well, I hope you all enjoyed! Sorry about the long waits, but it really can't be helped. Next chapter will probably be my Christmas one unless I'm either struck by inspiration or given a particularly good suggestion. Well, thanks for reading! ~BFMS  
**


	30. Twas that Time of the Year Again: pt 1

**Hey Y'all! I'm so sorry this is late, but I've been super swamped with both family, and school stuff. But better late then never right? *cricket chirps* Hehe, yeah... *dodges rotten fruit*  
**

** Well, I once again have two Christmas chapters (I can't help it if it works out that way! I don't see any of you complaining... *shifty eyes*) This first one is relatively short, but the next one is pretty decent. Hope you all enjoy!**

**

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**

James released a sigh of relief as he finished carefully tying the bright red bow onto the box wrapped in shiny green paper. _Finally, _he had finished wrapping all his Christmas presents. And just in time too, as tomorrow was the designated gift exchange between the Marauders, seeing as the day after would be James, Sirius, and Peter's departure from school. He leaned back to gaze proudly at the colorful packages in front of him, happy with his work.

A moment later, friend and fellow marauder, Peter Pettigrew, burst into the dorm room, smiling and holding his own newly-wrapped gifts. However, his were not quite as impressive looking as James'. James raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Um, Wormtail? What the heck happened to your gifts?"

Peter's smile fell as he blinked quizzically. "What are you talking about?"

James' eyebrows just rose further as he looked pointedly at the bundles in Peters hands. The wrapping paper looked like it had been torn and re-taped in several places, and many of the packages appeared to have multiple colors of wrapping paper used like patches to cover spots. The ribbons were all either too long or too short and eventually had to be taped down. The paper also appeared wrinkled as it wrapped around the oddly shaped gifts.

Wormtail blushed slightly as he looked from his gifts to James' before stuttering out a reply. "Y-yeah, well… m-my gifts are more difficult shapes to wrap! Yours are all boxes!"

James rolled his eyes at the excuse. "Oh please, I could wrap better then that no matter what the shape!"

Peter glared. "Fine, prove it!"

Slightly surprised at the challenge, the messy-haired boy thought for a moment. Suddenly, his eyes lit up as a brilliant idea came to him. Standing suddenly, he ran to the door, throwing it open and glancing down the stairs into the common room. Peter curiously glanced over his shoulder to see what he was looking for. James scanned the room until he found what he was looking for. An evil grin spread on his face as he pointed at a poor innocent first-year and shouted, "YOU!"

The boy jumped and whipped his head around, startled. Blinking at the two Marauders, he dumbly pointed to himself in question. James nodded, evil smile still in place.

"Yeah, you! Come 'ere for a sec…"

* * *

Remus sighed as he sluggishly made his way up the stairs to his dorm. He was exhausted from working all afternoon. Unlike his friends, he had finished his gift wrapping days ago. However, he wanted to finish all homework assignments early so he wouldn't have to work on them during the break. Sure, he was going to be alone for two weeks, and had taken into consideration leaving it just so he'd have something to do, but he wanted to spend the break relaxing. Besides, he was sure his friends would be giving him books for Christmas anyways, so he would have plenty to keep busy.

Opening the door leading to the dorm room, he found himself immediately stopped in his tracks. He did not respond, or react, in any way. He just stood there, trying to decide whether or not he was really surprised.

What he had found, was James, meticulously placing a bow on the top of some wide-eyed first year's head. The kid's entire body from his eyes down, had been wrapped up tight with red and green paper, taped carefully at every crease so as to keep the paper smooth. While James was completing the final touches of this…work, Peter was standing, holding up one of his shoddily wrapped gifts, eyes snapping back and forth between it and the first-year, and appearing deep in thought as he compared them.

James stepped back to join Peter in the comparison. After a moment, Peter finally noticed Remus and sighed, dropping the hand with the present.

"I think he's got me beat, mate."

Slowly bringing his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, the resident werewolf tried to tune out James' victorious cheering as he made his way to the back of the room

43.) Wrapping people.

And with that, he went to bed. Not even bothering to change his clothes, and ignoring the desperate stares and muffled cries of the gift-wrapped student standing in the middle of the room.

* * *

**We do this every year at my church Christmas party... insane, but you do get really good at wrapping weird shapes. XD**


	31. Twas that Time of the Year Again: pt 2

Remus was just drifting off into blissful sleep, when he was roughly shaken back into the world of the living.

"Hey! Hey Moony! Are you awake?"

Swatting James away, he sat up. "I am _now."_

The stag grinned. "Good! Cause we need your help!"

"With what?"

"Finding the fourth member of the Marauders."

Remus blinked before looking around the room. Sure enough, only three were present. Himself, Prongs, and Wormtail(the first-year having been sent staggering back to his own room). So where was the infamous Padfoot?

"Sirius hasn't come back yet?"

James and Peter shook their heads. Suddenly, Remus groaned and rolled back over onto his bed, pulling his pillow over his head, fully prepared to go back to sleep. Surprised, James immediately began shaking him again.

"Moony! What are you doing? Wake up! You gotta help us find him!"

Pulling the pillow back to reveal one glaring eye, Remus responded in an annoyed tone. "Use the map, idiots!"

The two remaining Marauders exchanged glances. Oh, right. The Marauder's Map, that thing that reveals anyone's location, thus saving them the hassle of having to scour the entire school forever looking for someone and allowing Remus to continue sleeping. They knew that…

Blushing slightly, James immediately pulled the map out of his bag, tapping it with his wand.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good!"

Immediately, ink seemed to spring from beneath his wand, spreading to form an intricate map of the entire castle. Tiny dots moved on the paper, representing every person within the school. Scanning the paper, James quickly spotted the speck labeled "Sirius Black".

"It says he's downstairs in the common room."

"_Seriously!?_"

Both James and Peter jumped at the sudden voice as Remus sat up in bed, staring at his friend's incredulously.

"You guys didn't even bother to check the _common room_ before waking me up!?"

James rubbed the back of his head nervously as the werewolf continued glaring. "I, uh… guess it didn't occur to us?"

Remus groaned before falling back onto the mattress, waving his hand in a way that very clearly communicated "I give up". Slightly afraid of disturbing their friend more, the two quietly made their way out of the room and down the stairs. As they made their way to the bottom, a strange sound, not quite singing, reached their ears…

"Everyone knows the best time of year,

Is quickly approaching, yeah, almost here!

It's Christmas time now in Hogwarts,

Wish I didn't have to do those school reports!

I thought break would be more fun,

Between work and parents I'll soon be done!

But let's not think about that right now,

Let's think about tomorrow's chow!

I can't wait for that Christmas feast,

It never disappoints in the least!"

As they reached the bottom of the stairs, James and Peter were met with an even stranger sight that made them suddenly realize how Remus must have felt earlier. Sirius was alone in the common room, dancing slightly as he stood in front of a mirror. He had his wand pointed at his hair, which currently was red on one side and green on the other. With a flick of his wrist, it became red with green highlights. Another flick, green with red highlights. Another flick, horizontal stripes. All the while, he was…rapping.

"I wonder which way to do my hair,

I have to choose one? Now that ain't fair!

Perhaps I'll change it every class?

Or every hour! My style will far surpass

Any Slytherins', they'll stand in awe

Of my holiday looks,

And then I'll hex them…dang, that doesn't rhyme…"

"Um, Sirius?"

Pausing in his activities, the fourth Marauder turned to his friends. Breaking out into a grin, he waved enthusiastically. "Hey guys! What's up?"

James appeared to be having trouble forming sentences, so Peter took over for him. Well, as best he could.

"What…are you…doing?"

Sirius cocked his head to the side, his hair (currently red with green tips) fell over his shoulder. Taking a strand between his fingers, he lifted it slightly.

"What, you mean this?"

"N-well, yes that too. But also, what were you…?"

Understanding, Sirius once again broke into a grin. "Well, I wanted to be festive, and I did the whole tinsel-in-my-hair thing last year, so I wanted to try something different. And I finished all my gift wrapping earlier, so I started…"

"…rapping." James finished, finally finding his tongue. The boy across from him nodded, seeming very happy with himself. Shaking his head, the Potter stared at his friend.

"Are you serious?!"

This only caused the boy to grin wider, leaning his head against his wand. "Yes. I am. I've always been one for puns, now haven't I?"

Ignoring the gapping mouths of his friends, Sirius dragged his wand down his hair, leaving a white streak behind.

"Maybe I'll do my hair like a candy cane,

My friends must think I'm insane!"

At the last line, he turned, sticking out his tongue and winking as his still frozen comrades.

* * *

**THE NEXT DAY!**

"Well, Sirius, do you want your first gift?"

"Yes please!" The boy (hair now white with alternating green and red tips) jumped up and down excitedly. James grinned, always amused by his friend's antics.

"Your first gift is two new additions to our list!"

Whipping his head around, Sirius found that there were indeed two new symptoms.

44.) Making your hair holiday themed.

45.) Rapping.

The messy haired boy smiled smugly, fully expecting his friend to be indignant at that being considered a gift. However, he merely found himself in a bone crushing hug, a happy and hyped-up-on-sugar-from-eating-too-many-candy-canes Sirius squealing in his ears.

"Thank you!! I love it!!!"

"Ok! Ok! You're Welcome! Now get off!!"

Sirius laughed as he removed himself from James, who was gasping for breath. The rest of the gift exchange went normally (well, normal for them). Remus, as expected, received many thick books that would be sure to keep him occupied over the break. James was given a Few quidditch books, a jersey from his favorite team, and a miniature, animated figurine of his favorite seeker. Peter got candy, sweets, and a new chess set, as his had been getting rather old and tattered. Sirius received a book of hexes and pranks, and a hollowed out book of Dark Arts to hide things from his family. All in all, the four friends were very pleased and were all smiling and laughing by the end of the night. As they were all getting ready to go to bed, James approached Sirius once more.

"Hey Padfoot!"

"What's up Prongs?"

Hazel eyes sparkled as James smiled. "I've got one more gift for you."

Sirius immediately began bouncing up and down. "Really?!"

"Yes, really!" James laughed as he handed his friend a small parcel. Sirius quickly tore it open, revealing a small mirror. He looked up, confused. James smiled again.

"It's a two-way mirror, mate. I have one too, so now you can call me up any time you want!"

There was a moment of silence as Sirius went from staring wide-eyed, mouth open at James, to staring wide-eyed, mouth open at the mirror, and back. Suddenly, he threw his arms around the boy in front of him, nearly knocking the wind out of him. The hug was similar to the one earlier, but at the same time different.

"Thanks, Prongs."

James smiled as he returned the embrace. He knew Sirius hadn't been looking forward to returning home, and was glad he could help cheer him up. A moment later, the two broke apart, Sirius still beaming with joy. Finally, all four friends went to bed, Remus smiling at his crazy, insane friends, sad that they would be gone, but knowing that they would keep their promise to write constantly and be back before he knew it. Falling back into bed, he said his final goodnight, and they all replied.

"Merry Christmas guys."

"Merry Christmas!"

* * *

**WARNING! LONG A/N!!**

**Anyone else notice that my Christmas chapters tend to be Sirius-focused? I can't help it! He's my favorite and I want to make him happy during the holidays! T_T  
**

**Now, about the symptoms...**

**The hair one: I really wanted to do, but my mom wouldn't let me! Apparently she gets enough of my crazy hair during the summer, and she wont let me during the school year. XP **

**The rapping one: Hehe, yeeeah, me and my siblings do that. Every time someone mentions wrapping, we start...rapping. Oh, and sorry it Sirius' rap kind of sucks, but... It's _Sirius_ rapping. Oh, and I also apologize it I offended any rap fans out there. I have nothing against you, I swear! It was just for the story!**

**And one more apology. It occurred to me... sorry if you don't celebrate Christmas. I hope you're able to enjoy the chapters anyway!**

**Next, because people seemed to be requesting it, you can now find the complete list of current symptoms on my profile under "SYMPTOMS OF INSANITY". It will be updated along with each chapter.**

**Also, in the process of looking up all the current symptoms, I found a lot of silly little typos. So over the course of the next week or so, I will be going through and fixing those.  
**

**Now, my final note: I have a few more chapters planned, and after that I may do a time warp on you guys and start the Marauders' fifth year. There some stuff in that year that I want to cover (you can probably guess what it is). However, let me know if this a) bugs you in some way, or b) you seriously can't believe I want to continue this story more, seriously put you out of your misery and just end it. (I personally really hope it's not b, but I do want to know, so be honest!)**

**Oh, and one last thing. Does anyone know what year Sirius was when he ran away? I know he was 16, but what year was he in? Or am I allowed to take liberties? I do want to try to be as accurate as possible.**

**Well, I hope you all enjoyed! **

**HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!**

**~BFMS  
**


	32. STRESSED is DESSERTS spelled backwards

**Hello all! I think, all things considered, it didn't take me nearly as long to post this as usual! And it's a pretty decent length! So, I hope you all enjoy! (Oh, and beware long AN at the end of this. XP )

* * *

**

Sirius had to admit, he was mildly impressed. Although, this was a bit outweighed by his pure amusement at the situation.

It was History of Magic, boring to the extreme. He was sitting to the left of Remus, while James and Peter sat behind them. To Remus' right, was a petit Ravenclaw girl, Rebecca Wearing. While she wasn't exactly Sirius' type, he could still tell that she was very pretty. She had dark, almost black hair that fell in perfect ringlets onto her shoulders. Her eyes, a deep, clear blue, were accented by just a touch of make-up, but very subtle. Her skin was fair and smooth, with soft pink lips that were almost always curved in a friendly smile. She was a bit shy and quiet, but a sweet girl in general.

Now, Remus usually kept two quills with him during class: one which he wrote with, and one in case the other broke. Near the end of class, Sirius had noticed the normally unassuming girl, stealthily pilfer the second quill off the edge of the werewolf's desk. She seemed pretty skilled and Sirius briefly wondered if she was a pickpocket. In fact, at first he just chalked-up the whole situation to Rebecca being a kleptomaniac. However, he was intrigued so he decided not to point it out to anyone just yet.

This proved to be a wise decision, for it was when the class ended that our story begins…

The entire class was unanimously excited for class to be over. The marauders all began packing there things, when Remus noticed his missing item. He looked around, questioning his friends.

"Hey, have any of you seen my quill?" He received four head shakes.

"Oh!"

Remus turned around at the soft exclamation. Rebecca was leaning down to the ground, Moony's quill in her hands, seemingly having just picked it up off the ground. She smiled and handed it back to its owner.

"Here, it must have fallen off your desk!"

Sirius raised an eyebrow, but remained silent, wanting to see where this was going. Remus took his pen, smiling in thanks.

"Thank you, Rebecca."

The girl nodded back, turning as though to look through her bag. She waited a moment until Remus began to leave before speaking again.

"Oh wait, Remus!" She spoke as though she had _just_ remembered something. Remus turned back, looking at her expectantly.

"Um…" Rebecca hesitated and took a moment to regain her courage. "Um, so there's a Hogsmeade trip coming up this weekend and… uh…I-I was just wondering if you would, if you didn't already have plans…um…" She had practiced saying this at least thirty times in her mirror, so why did she have to start rambling and stuttering now!? She took a deep breath and just spit it out. "If you wanted to go out to lunch with me?"

There was a moment of silence. The poor girl was practically tearing the hem of her sleeve apart, while Remus just stood there with his mouth gaping. Meanwhile, his fellow marauders were wide-eyed and giggling at the awkwardness in front of them. Rebecca, in her nervousness, began rambling again.

"But I mean, if you didn't want to, or, or if you already had plans or something it's fine I just-"

Sirius finally took pity on the pair and gave Remus a very 'motivational' kick in the shin.

"OW! I mean-yeah, yes. I can. I mean, I'd love to. Sure, of course."

Rebecca broke into a wide grin, beaming in happiness.

"Really?"

Remus nodded, apparently having swallowed his tongue again.

"Great! So, I'll meet up with you on Saturday before we leave and we can decide where to go. Ok?"

Another nod, accompanied by a sort of strangled, whining sound. Rebecca chose to ignore it, smiling again and practically skipping out of the room. She was barely out of the room when the werewolf's ever so loving friends immediately began hassling him.

"Ooo, Moony has a Daaate!"

"She's cute, can we trust you to keep your hands to yourself?"

"Do I hear wedding bells?"

"Aw, they'd make an adorable couple!"

"Remus and Rebecca, sittin' in a tree! K-I-"

"Shut up!" Remus suddenly exclaimed, having finally broken out of his reverie. James grinned at his madly blushing friend.

"Aw, come on mate, we're just teasing!"

Remus just huffed, still blushing. "Yeah, well, you should be studying! We have a test in Charms today, remember?"

"Bloody-!"

And with that, Remus' love life was promptly forgotten in the three marauders' frenzied studying…

* * *

However, that night, Remus was not at dinner. Sirius turned to James.

"Hey Prongs, where's Moony?"

"I dunno." James shrugged. "After Charms, he just ran off without a word. I assumed he had to go to the library, or forgot something in our room or something."

"That's weird. And Remus never misses meals unless it's full moon related."

"Yeah, but the next one's not for a good three weeks!"

They were just about to discuss going to look for him, when dessert appeared on the long tables. However, tonight's dessert was different than usual. For one thing, there was a lot more. And it was more random. There were heaping piles of cookies, cakes, pastries, muffins, all thrown hastily onto the gold plates, as opposed to placed elegantly as they usually were. It wasn't a holiday of any kind, so this was quite bizarre. However, the three didn't think much of it at the time.

After the meal, the remaining marauders began their search for their missing werewolf.

"Well, where should we start?"

"I guess the common room and dorm first. Maybe he just wasn't feeling well?"

"I guess…"

However, before they could get very far, a small, high-pitched voice cried out behind them.

"Masters Marauders! Masters Marauders!"

The boys turned to find Trilly, a tiny female house-elf whom the Marauders had befriended during their frequent midnight trips to the kitchens. Trilly was panting when she skidded to a halt in front of the three students.

"Come quick! Master Remus is…is…"

James, Sirius, and Peter immediately felt panicked, fearing for their friend's well-being. Sirius spoke, alarmed.

"Is what? Is WHAT!?"

The house-elf paused, suddenly seeming quite perplexed.

"Well, Trilly isn't exactly sure what he is. But she's pretty sure he needs one of you!"

Now the Marauders were confused as well.

"Wait…Is Remus in trouble?"

"No, but us house-elves will be if you don't come soon!"

Exchanging glances, the boys decided it would probably be easier to see what was going on themselves. The four quickly sprinted down to the painting behind which the Hogwarts kitchen was hidden. Tickling the pear, Trilly opened the door, revealing the problem to the shocked Marauders.

There in the kitchen, Remus, Remus Lupin…was baking like a madman. Surrounding him was many of the baked goods that had been present at dinner. It was now clear that the house-elves had tried to clear the area of as many of the treats they could by sending them to the students as dessert. Regardless, the elves where now in a frenzy trying to figure out what to do with all the excess food, which was still increasing. Meanwhile, Remus seemed oblivious to it all, feverishly stirring a large bowl of batter, not even bothering to use magic.

James, still in shock, managed to question Trilly. "How long has he been like this?"

"Hours! We tried to get him to sit down or rest, but he told us not to bother him!" The house-elf sounded quite distressed. James stroked his chin in thought. He was still pondering the situation when he noticed his two currently sane friends staring at him expectantly. He narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Er, what?"

"Well?" Sirius questioned. This just made James more confused.

"Well what!?"

"Well go in there and fix him!"

"Why me?"

"You're the emotionally stable one of the group."

"WHAT!? Since when!?"

"Since _always_. Where have you been?"

James stared open-mouthed at Sirius. Finally, he shook his head.

"You…oh never mind. Fine, I'll go and find out what's up."

Sirius gave a large grin and a thumbs up as James rolled his eyes and entered the kitchen, closing the portrait behind him. He approached the werewolf cautiously, which would normally be a rational action except for the fact that the boy was not currently a werewolf.

"..Remus?" James spoke softly, afraid of startling his friend who had now moved on to rolling out the dough. Whipping his head up, Remus spoke in a rushed, clipped tone.

"Hello Prongs. I'm a bit busy. I'll help you with whatever academic assignment you've forgotten later."

"No, no. I don't need anything. I just…wanted to see if everything was ok."

Remus looked up again. He paused in his baking before giving a slightly hysterical laugh.

"What, you mean this?" He gestured to the confections covering the room. James nodded as Remus continued.

"This is nothing. Just…nothing. Really, no need for concern."

"Oh, I beg to differ."

"Really, James. I'm fine."

"Remus, you're baking. You are _not_ fine." He paused. "Just talk to me Moony. What's going on?"

The rolling pin paused in its merciless flattening as the boy seemed to weigh his options in his mind. Finally, Remus sighed before turning to James, looking both forlorn and slightly embarrassed.

"I'm… nervous."

The stag raised an eyebrow. "About what?"

"About this date with Rebecca…"

"_That's_ what this is about?"

Remus blushed. "I'm stressed ok! And this is what I do when I'm stressed." He gestured once again to their surrounding. James sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"So, you really like her, huh?"

Turning away, Remus considered his answer. "It's not that. I mean… I do like her, but, that's not... _exactly_ what has me so stressed."

Confused as ever, James tried to think of what his friend could be talking about. "So, what is the problem?"

"It's-It's the whole situation!"

"What are you talking about? It's just a date!" He blinked as Remus continued avoiding his gaze, blushing just a bit harder. Suddenly, James' eyes widened.

"_No_." The only response he received was his friend's blush increasing as he crossed his arms, still apparently finding the wall incredibly interesting. James glanced around the room, as though to be sure they were really alone. The house-elves where still huddled on the other side of the room trying to figure out what to do with all the baked goods, completely ignoring the two boys. As such, James turned back, suddenly crying out in amazement.

"YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ON A DATE BEFORE!?"

Finally, Remus faced him, arms flailing in embarrassment and frustration.

"SHUT UP! I'M A WEREWOLF, I HAVE ISSUES!!"

The two stared at each other for a few moment, before James finally managed to at least semi recover from his shock. Shaking his head, he began speaking again.

"Wow, Moony. I mean, I know we never saw you go on any dates, but I always assumed you just never told us so we wouldn't bug you!"

Remus sighed, suddenly feeling very exhausted. He placed his hands on the counter, leaning forward slightly.

"So what do I do?"

James blinked. "How am I suppose to know?"

"You're the emotionally stable one of the group!"

"Why does everyone keep saying that!?"

"Where have you been?"

James shook his head. "You know what, forget it. We're discussing _you_ here. You and your complete inexperience with dating."

Remus groaned, falling into a chair, leaning back with one hand over his eyes while the other hung limp at his side. For a moment, the other boy simply stared, not use to seeing his friend in such a state. Finally, James moved and sat next to the distraught teenager, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Cheer up, mate. It's not as scary as you think!"

Remus uncovered one glaring eye. "Even under normal circumstances, I could make a complete fool of myself. PLUS, I've got the added worries that if this somehow manages to not go up in smoke, she could find out about my furry little problem and freak on me. Or I could-"

"Alright! Alright! So maybe it is a bit scary. But, with the possibility of bad things, comes the possibility of great things!" James smiled and squeezed his friend's shoulder. "You've got to give yourself a chance sometime."

Remus took a deep breath. As he exhaled, he removed his hand from his face, smiling at the messy-haired boy beside him.

"Thanks, mate."

"Any time! Now, let's say we get out of here so these poor house-elves can clean up!"

Remus glanced at the room sheepishly before turning to the elves, who seemed to have noticed that their conversation was complete. "Er, sorry 'bout all this."

One of the elves smiled. "It's alright, Master Remus! We's just glad you're ok!"

After gathering up a few baskets of the goods to take back to their dorm and another quick apology, the two Marauders exited the kitchen to finally rejoin their counterparts. Sirius and Peter were sitting against the wall with Trilly when their friends entered the hallway. Sirius jumped up.

"Hey! You're back!"

"Yes. I'm sorry about worrying all of you."

"No worries, Moony. But what was that all about anyways?"

"Eh, it's a long story…"

"Good thing we got all night and a basket of cookies then, huh?"

Remus merely smiled as the marauders made their way up to their room for a night of stories, advice, emotional stability, and a new list addition…

46.) Stress Baking

* * *

**My older sister just recently moved cross country (From SoCal to Washington DC) and we learned that when she stresses, she bakes. I think I gained ten pounds in a week. XP So this chapter is for her. :)**

**Also, I don't know about everyone else, but I personally feel like James would be the emotionally stable one of the group (Sirius has a messed up family, Remus is a werewolf, and Peter has an inferiority complex and eventually betrays everyone). If I find the time, I may do a separate one-shot of James getting made fun of for being the emotionally stable one. We'll see...  
**

**Alright, now long AN time.**

**Surprisingly, I have been struck by much inspiration lately. So my current plans for the next batch of chapters is as such**

**1) Remus' date, 2) End of year prank/ insanity, 3) Summer chapter, 4) 2nd Summer chapter/ diagon alley, and 5) beginning of 5th year.**

**And then I'll go from there. But that's the current plan. (#5 is NOT the end of the story. I'm just giving an outline for upcoming chapters. There will be more after.)**

**Now, as for Rebecca Wearing. I am once again giving you the readers, a ridiculous amount of power. She is, similar to Marcus Anderson, a character I came up with for the sake of this chapter and the next. After next chapter, please let me know if you would like to see more of her, have her appear occasionally, or never be seen again. I honestly have no attatchments to her should you chose the latter.**

**Finally, although I have the next chapter outlined, it might take me a week or two to post it. I've got that wonderful thing called FINALS next week. XP Although, I may get it out sooner if I feel the need to procrastinate. ;P Either way, just keep that in mind when checking your inboxes. **

**Well, long AN over now. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter and thanks for reading! ~BFMS  
**


	33. Don't Look Behind You

"Hey Remus."

"Hello Rebecca."

The two teens smiled shyly at each other before following the large group of students being led into Hogsmeade. After spending a good portion of the week freaking out (although the baking had been kept to a minimum), Remus was finally on his first date. It was now five minutes into it and... so far, so good! While he had gotten his fair share of teasing, his Marauder comrades had actually been very helpful in keeping him calm and giving him advice. As such, he felt fully prepared to make it through a simple afternoon making conversation with the pretty Ravenclaw girl.

"So, did you have any place in mind for lunch?"

Rebecca smiled shyly. "Well, I heard there's a new diner that's just opened. Would you be alright with that?"

Remus smiled in return. "Of course!"

The girl nodded. "Great! Here, I show you where it is…" Rebecca slipped her hand into Remus' and began pulling him in the direction of the restaurant. Remus blushed slightly, but tried to cover it up with small talk.

"So, lovely weather today, huh?"

Rebecca giggled before answering. "Yes, indeed it is. We got lucky, I heard it was suppose to be cold today."

"I heard that too. I guess-" Remus was cut off when the two student noticed a strange whistling noise. Turning around, the werewolf's eyes widened at the sight of a mass of red light heading straight for them.

"Get down!" He quickly grabbed Rebecca and pulled her to the ground just as what they now saw to be a rogue firework flew over their heads. Hesitantly looking up, the pair watched as the projectile exploded in a burst of light a few feet ahead of them. Shakily, Remus helped Rebecca get to her feet. Dusting themselves off, Rebecca beamed.

"Remus, you saved me!" She exclaimed as she threw her arms around him.

Remus blushed a little, but smiled as he hugged her back. "Oh, it was nothing, really…"

"Well, thank you any ways. Now, I believe we were on our way to lunch?"

After receiving a small nod, the girl once again began leading the way to the diner. As he was being dragged, though, Remus cast a quick glance in the direction the firework had come from, a thoughtful look on his face…

* * *

The diner was a pleasant little place. Remus was surprised to learn that the name of the diner was…The Diner. Easy enough to remember, at least. Newly opened, it was freshly painted a pale yellow on the outside and a warm beige on the inside. The booth cushions were soft and comfortable and overall the place just had a very welcoming feel.

While the place had a good number of people there, most coming to see it for the first time like our couple, Remus and Rebecca still managed to be seated within ten minutes. The first half of their meal was uneventful. They chatted as they looked over their menus and eventually ordered. However, after awhile, Remus got the strangest feeling. It was like a prickling in the back of his neck…like he was being watched. He turned his head around, scanning the rest of the diner, but saw nothing.

"Remus?"

The boy in question turned back to find Rebecca giving him a quizzical look. He quickly smiled reassuringly. "Oh, it's nothing! Don't worry about it." They were then graced with a few more minutes of peacefulness, before it happened.

"It", was a large burst of flame coming from the door leading to the kitchen. Several customers screamed and leapt away from the door in case of any more explosions. Luckily, no one was hurt and no more fire was seen. However, the diner was now quickly filling with smoke that poured from the kitchen. Coughing and covering their mouths, Remus grabbed Rebecca and lead her quickly out of the restaurant. Quickly moving away from the door so that others could exit as well, the pair took in deep gulps of fresh air. Rebecca turned to her date, confusion clearly written on her face.

"What was that!?"

Remus shook his head. "I don't know." He looked back at the diner, eyes narrowed in suspicion. However, he was shaken from his reverie when Rebecca spoke again.

"Well, what would you like to do now?"

"Um, would you like to just, I don't know, walk around?"

Rebecca smiled. "Sure!" Taking the boy's hand again, the two began to wander through Hogsmeade, leaving the smoking building behind them.

* * *

The couple drifted aimlessly through the magic town, occasionally pausing to look into the window of a shop or display. They soon found themselves in front of the small shop which sold pets. Rebecca tugged Remus' sleeve in the direction of the entrance.

"Oh, Remus! Could we take a look in here?" The girl seemed so enthusiastic, the werewolf merely laughed and nodded as they entered.

A small bell rang above their heads, alerting the owner of their arrival. Remus stated that they were simply taking a look around while Rebecca stared into the cages of the cats and owls. For a second, the werewolf could have sworn he heard the door to the store open, but the bell never rang and when he turned to look there was no one there. He shook his head, convincing himself it was nothing. Joining Rebecca, the two wandered through the store, weaving through cages and commenting on all the different animals.

After awhile though, Remus frowned as he noticed one of the cats growling slightly. Taking a look, he noticed that the cat seemed to be staring at something in the corner. Turning to check, he saw nothing. However, a moment later, almost all the cats were growling. Soon, the animals were hissing and yowling, jumping at the bars of their cages. Remus pulled Rebbeca back while the manager tried to calm them.

Before anything could be done though, one of the cats on the top shelf jumped up the side of its cage, causing it to topple over. As it fell, it caught on a few other cages as well, bringing them down like a house of cards. Hitting the floor, many of the cage doors opened, releasing the frenzied animals. To make matters worse, a few bags of sawdust, usually used as bedding for rodent cages, also fell, causing a cloud of dust to blind all of them.

Coughing and tearing up from the dust, the group could only listen to the sounds of angry cats, disgruntled owls and frightened rodents. Once again grabbing Rebecca, Remus bolted for where he thought the exit was. Sure enough, after a minute of feeling along the wall for the door, the two made their way outside, coughing and hacking to clear their lungs for the second time that day.

"I just don't understand what is going on today!" Rebecca exclaimed, though she was laughing slightly.

Remus glanced back into the store, the wheels in his head turning. "Seriously…" Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he gave the Ravenclaw a sheepish grin. "Well, would you like to continue on then?"

The two laughed and began walking down the street again, both still wondering if they were being followed by ill-fortune…

* * *

Eventually, the two found themselves standing in front of Honeydukes, the magical sweets shop. Remus smiled and turned to his date.

"Well, since we never got to have dessert at the restaurant, would you like something here?"

The girl eagerly agreed and they stepped into the store. Both stared wide-eyed at the wide array of sweets and candies, bright colors and scents assaulting their senses. As they looked around, Remus glanced up front and was surprised to see that the shop owner was not there. However, after about five minutes of looking around, a large man stumbled through the doorway leading to the back. In his hands, was a huge heart-shaped bar of chocolate, decorated with pink and red hard candies. The man looked slightly confused, but quickly tried to act natural once he saw the pair. He gave a slight cough before approaching them. The couple looked at the man expectantly. The manager was looking up, as though he was trying to remember something. When he spoke, it was as though he was reciting a script…

"Good afternoon. You two are such a cute couple. You also happen to be my 50th customer today. As such, please enjoy this complementary chocolate as a prize. Thank you and have a nice day."

Remus stood open mouthed as the chocolate was held out for him to take. Rebecca squealed and clapped her hands as the boy finally took it.

"Oh, Remus! Isn't this wonderful! We've finally had some good luck!"

The pale boy smiled. "Yeah, I guess we have…" As they went to leave, he couldn't help but cast one last glance at the door leading to the back room…

* * *

The two students were laughing as they finally reached the Hogwarts grounds. Rebecca was just licking the last of the chocolate off her fingers when they passed through the school gates. Heading inside, Remus had no trouble slipping his hand into Rebecca's. When it came time for them to part ways, they turned to each other, semi-awkwardly. The petit girl smiled shyly.

"I had a lovely time today, Remus."

"Me too, Rebecca."

Just as they prepared to depart, the Ravenclaw mustered up some courage and gave the boy a quick peck on the lips. Both blushing, but smiling all the same, they said their goodbyes and finally returned to their own room. Remus smiled widely as he brought a hand up to his lips. However, the mood was quickly killed when…

"MOONY!!!"

…he was tackled from all sides by his overenthusiastic friends. Suddenly, everything fell into place.

"**YOU!!!**" Throwing the boys off him. He glared at them, pointing an accusing finger in their faces.

"You… I know you three did something today."

Sirius pouted while James gave him his best innocent look. "Who, us? Whatever are you talking about?"

All three were quickly hit over the head. "You know what I'm talking about! All that stuff that kept happening today! The firework…"

"That was an accident!"

James and Sirius glared daggers at Peter, who instantly realized his mistake and covered his mouth. Remus narrowed his eyes.

"Explain. Now."

Sirius rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Well you see…"

* * *

"_Are you guys sure this is a good idea?"_

_Sirius rolled his eyes. "Honestly, Wormtail, we're not doing to __**do **__anything! We're just going to keep an eye on them!"_

"_You mean spying?"_

"_No…"_

"_Stalking?"_

"_No!"_

"_We're simply looking out for our good friend's wellbeing."_

"_Thank you James. Now come one, we don't want to lose them!"_

_The three boys trailed behind the couple as they made their way through the magic town. They were careful to keep a good distance so as not to be seen. However, as they were going, Peter happened to notice a small stand set up outside of Zonko's Joke Shop._

"_Hey look! Fireworks!"_

_James turned around just in time to see Peter reaching for one of the colorful tubes. His eyes widened._

"_Peter, NO!"_

_But it was too late, the clumsy boy knocked one of the explosives onto the ground, immediately setting it off. Sirius and James leapt to the side to avoid being hit. Both look back and watched as Remus pulled Rebecca to the ground to protect her. Sirius pulled James up and grabbed Peter, pulling them into the closest shop just as Remus turned around…_

_

* * *

_

"See! Total accident."

Remus nodded, a thoughtful look on his face. "Alright, and what about the fire at the diner?"

All three boys winced. "Well…"

* * *

_Once the couple was seated, the three Marauders made their way inside. They were sitting in the waiting area, looking over the dividing wall to watch their friend and his date eat. They were staring intensly, trying to decipher how the date was going. After a few minutes, all three ducked just as Remus turned around to look in their direction. They let out a sigh of relief at having avoided being caught, when they were suddenly approached by the hostess of the restaurant._

"_May I help you three with something?"_

"_Er, no we're just, uh, sitting."_

_The woman glared. "Well, I suggest you go 'sit' somewhere else. This area is for paying customers only."_

_The three nodded as the woman stalked off. Glancing around, Sirius quickly pulled his two friends behind a nearby doorway which he saw had a small window through which they could continue their spying. Once through, they found themselves in the kitchen. Not quite sure what to do with themselves, the boys stood for a moment before a disgruntled cook came and stared at them wildly._

"_What are you doing in here!? This is for employees only!!"_

_Sirius immediately took over, the lie coming naturally. "I'm a new employee. The manager sent me to be trained."_

_The chef looked him up and down. "You don't look old enough to work here…"_

"_I'm 22." Sirius deadpanned. _

"_Oh… well, what about them then?"_

"_Shadowing program. They're students who want to be chefs. Didn't you get the memo?"_

"_Well, I…"_

"_Look, you seem like a nice guy, so I wont pass it on to the boss, k?"_

"_Gee, thanks!"_

"_No problem. No where's the oven?"_

_A few minutes later, the three boys were standing in front of a large pot of bubbling something as Sirius added ingredients at random. James seemed a bit nervous._

"_Are you sure you know what you're doing, Padfoot?" _

"_Of course, Prongs. It's easy! Just like potions!"_

"_What's that you're adding now?"_

"_No idea, but it doesn't look too bad-"_

**_BOOM!_**

_The marauders were thrown back into a wall, hitting it with a thud. The boys coughed, their eyebrows singed and smoking. The kitchen was immediately sent into chaos as smoke filled the room and panicked employees searched for fire extinguishers. James coughed and sputtered as he stood up, shaking. _

"_What the heck did you do, Padfoot!?"_

_Sirius rubbed at his eyes, which were watering from the smoke. "I don't know!"_

_Peter cried out through the smoke, "Who cares! Let's get out of here!" _

_Nodding in agreement, they began stumbling through the kitchen. Feeling along the wall, they eventually came to a door. Sirius turned to the others._

"_Is this the back door or the fridge?"_

"_Let's find out!"_

_Shoving themselves through the door, they found that it was in fact, the back door. Taking a few minutes to catch their breaths, James, Sirius, and Peter sat on the ground panting. Finally, James stood once more._

"_Well, we better go and see where the lovebirds ran off to."_

_Peter groaned, suggesting they just quit while they were ahead, but he was promptly pulled from the ground and dragged off into the town…_

_

* * *

_

Remus pinched the bridged of his nose.

"Alright, so… at least it wasn't intentional." He sighed, looking up again. "And the pet store?"

At this, James and Sirius whipped their heads around to glare daggers at Peter, who was blushing furiously.

"I-I…I guess I got caught up in the moment…"

* * *

_James, Sirius, and Peter stuck their heads out of the bushes where they had been hiding, watching as Remus and Rebecca stepped into the store. Stealthily, the boys exited the plants and headed for the door. James stopped them just outside, noticing the bell over the door. He quickly brought out his wand and cast a quick silencing spell on the instrument before they ran inside. As soon as they had entered, they ducked behind a counter, getting themselves out of sight just as Remus turned around. James and Sirius watched the couple from their spots, while Peter looked in a different direction. _

"_Hey." Peter tugged at James' sleeve, trying to get his attention._

"_What?"_

"_Look over there!" The two boys followed Peter's eyes to a row of cages holding different colored rats. _

"_So?"_

_Peter looked indignant and began whispering furiously. "So! I know what it's like to be a rat, they must be miserable in there!"_

"_Oh please, Wormtail, I'm sure their very happy. I mean, they've got food and toys and everything!"_

"_Hm… Do you think I can talk to rats when I'm in my animagus form?"_

"_How should we know?"_

"_I know! I'll try and ask them if they're happy or not!"_

"_Peter, NO!" _

_But it was too late. The boy quickly transformed and scurried off towards the cages as his two friends tried to crawl after him. As he darted from behind the counter, he noticed for the first time the long row of cages with cats inside them. He squeaked slightly in fear as the cats began to growl at him. Animal instincts overriding human logic, he dashed into a corner, curling up behind a box. However, the cats still knew he was there and could tell something wasn't right about him. James and Sirius watched with growing horror as the cats grew more restless. Finally, the cages toppled to the ground, bring with them a cloud of sawdust. Realizing that they had been given the perfect cover, the boys immediately rushed to the corner they had seen Peter run to. Right along with them, were multiple cats who had been released in the crash. Reaching the corner, Sirius tried to push the animals back while James grabbed Peter. Finally having their rodent friend in his hands, the marauders once again found themselves running out the back door, coughing, under a cloud of dust…_

_

* * *

_

Remus held his head in his hands as he sat on his bed.

"Really, Peter?"

"I said I was sorry!"

Sighing again, Remus shook his head. "Honestly, you three…"

"Well, we at least tried to make it up to you!"

"Huh?"

"You see…"

* * *

_Peter sighed, despairingly. "I'm sorry guys. I wasn't thinking."_

"_It's alright Wormtail, we know you didn't mean it."_

"_Maybe we should just get out of here. we've done nothing but cause Remus trouble all day!"_

_Suddenly, Sirius nudged James in the ribs. "Hey, they're heading towards Honeydukes!"_

_James stroked his chin, thinking. After a moment, he snapped his fingers in excitement. "I got it!" Huddling up, James quickly relayed his idea to his companions. Soon, all three were smiling and, for the first time that day, _entering_ through the back door of a shop. _

_A few minutes later found the three boys cornering the store owner in the back room. James sighed as he counted out his money._

"_I can't believe how much we messed up today."_

_Sirius shrugged and mumbled under his breath. "I can't believe we're actually paying for Honeydukes…"_

_James promptly stepped on his friend's foot, not wanting the manager to overhear and get suspicious about the boys' secret passage into the store. _

_Peter spoke next, "I can't believe it's not-"_

"_NO!"_

_Effectively silencing his friend, James returned to the matter at hand and gave the older man the money he had been counting. The man took it and placed it in his pocket as he picked up a large candy infused bar of chocolate. He turned back to the boys in front of him, raising an eye brow._

"_Now, what do you want he to do again?"_

_Sirius sighed and stepped forward. "It's simple. Our friend is in there with a date." He said as he pointed at the door leading to the main shop. "All we need you to do, is come up with some excuse to give them that chocolate." _

_The man furrowed his brow. "Like what?"_

"_Ugh! Like… Okay, repeat after me," Sirius waited for the man to nod before continuing. "Good afternoon. You two are such a cute couple. You also happen to be my 50__th__ customer today. As such, please enjoy this complementary chocolate as a prize. Thank you and have a nice day." _

_The boys watched as the man mumbled the words under his breath, trying to memorize them. _

"_You got all that?"_

"_Uh, yeah I think so…"_

"_Good! Now get out there and make us proud!" and with that, Sirius grabbed the man's shoulder, spun him around, and shoved him roughly through the door where he stumbled into the store…_

_

* * *

_

Remus sat, staring blankly at the people he called 'friends'. There were a few moments of silence before he sighed and stood from his spot on the bed. Silently, he dug a pen out of is bag and walked to the side of the room. He stood motionless for a minute, mumbling to himself.

"So…many…options…"

Finally, he settled on a single word and scrawled in onto the parchment.

47.) Stalking.

With that, he crawled into his bed, pulling the covers over his head. Sirius chuckled as he looked at the list.

"Of all the things, that's what you chose?"

"I figured it was what sparked the whole ordeal."

James, Sirius and Peter sat on Remus' bed, surrounding the bundle that was currently their friend.

"So… have a good date Moony?"

Lightly running a finger over his lips, Remus pulled the sheets down and smiled.

"Wonderful…"

* * *

**From now on, I'm putting all AN's at the end. That way you can go straight to the story and skip my ramblings if you so desire.**

**Oh. My. Gosh. Let me tell you, this chapter did NOT want to be written! I seriously rewrote it THREE TIMES! It was also frustrating, cause the symptom was different than the one I wanted to use. My friends and I will sometimes get into a "chain of stalking". Where one person stalks another person who stalks another person who stalks the first person. However, that wouldn't make sense with this chapter cause, they all wanted to stalk Remus! XD Oh well. I'm still quasi-happy with this. But be sure to let me know what you think regardless! **

**Also, my original plan that I stated in the AN of last chapter? It's been mildly changed. I'm just putting another chapter before I finish the Marauders' fourth year. Why? Because unlike this chapter, I had a different chapter that REALLY wanted to be written. So it has been written. **

**Oh, and after reading everyone's comments, I think Rebecca is just going to be an occasional character who will be seen from time to time, but wont really be focused on. Unless you all change your mind. Whatever.**

**Hope you enjoyed and please review! Thanks all! ~BFMS  
**


	34. Freud's Got Nothing On Me!

James Potter was whistling a nameless tune to himself, not a care in the world as he wandered the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He was just on his way to his dorm room to look up a bubble-blowing hex he and Sirius wanted to try out later. However as he turned a corner, he nearly jumped out of his skin as he saw Lily Evans leaning against the wall, as if she was waiting for him. This thought was strengthened when the girl let out a small sigh.

"James, may I speak to you?"

"Uh…" For a moment, the boy was a bit confused, but decided to just go with it. "Sure. What is it?"

Another sigh. "Oh, I've just been having a terrible week and needed someone to talk to. You marauders can usually cheer me up…when you're not torturing people…"

"Then… why are you only talking to me?"

The red-head gave him a look. "Everyone knows you're the emotionally stable one of the group."

James actually had to lean against the wall to steady himself as he stuttered out a reply. "W-what!?"

Lily just shrugged, obviously not thinking much of it. "Well? Will you help me or not?"

For a moment, the wizard could only stand and stare. Finally, he hung his head in defeat. "Of course I will…"

* * *

Roughly an hour later, James was finally back on his path to his room. Man, he had no idea how much pent up anger the fiery red-head had! And her sister seemed like a bit of a jerk, but he hoped they could work it out. Either way, he was feeling a bit worn out after having spent so much time counseling the object of his affection, and was ready to at least sit down for a bit. He managed to make it all the way into the common room before he was stopped once more.

"Oy! James!"

The boy in question turned and was greeted by Mathew Pell, a Gryffindor who was a year older than him.

"Hey Matt. What's up?"

"Well, I needed some advice and the marauders usually seem to know what their doing so..."

"Wait, I thought Sirius was in here earlier? Why didn't you talk to him?"

"Everyone knows you're the emotionally stable one of the group."

_THUD!_

"Woah! Are you alright!?" Mathew cried out as James fell to the floor. After a moment with no sign of movement, he began to shake the younger boy. Groaning, the messy-haired boy batted him away as he finally sat up. He took a deep breath and sighed in an accepting manner.

"Fine, what did you need help with…?"

* * *

"Prongs said he'd be gone fifteen minutes. It's been three HOURS!" Sirius exclaimed in frustration.

Remus sighed beside him. "Well why didn't you go looking for him earlier?"

"I dunno, didn't occur to me?"

The werewolf shook his head and smiled as they made their way up the stairs. However, both boys frowned as they reached the door to the Gryffindor common room. The painting of the fat lady was open and there was a long line of people leading from the stairs into the common room. The two friends exchanged confused glances before squeezing their way past the crowd and into the large room. One there, they found the line occupied by students from all four houses as well as the occasional professor. All were winding through the couches and leading up the stairs to…the marauders' dorm room? Remus sputtered in bewilderment.

"Wha-what on earth is going on?"

"PETER!?

Hearing Sirius' exclamation, Remus followed his gaze to find that sure enough, Peter Pettigrew was among the people waiting in line to enter the boys' room. Quickly making their way over, the two confronted their friend who, upon being sighted, looked much like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Wormtail, what in the world are you doing waiting in_ line_ to get into your own room!?"

"Well I-I…You s-see…" But no mater how hard he tried, the poor boy could not string a sentence together. Fed up, Sirius threw his arms in the air and made his way to the front of the line.

"I'm gonna get to the bottom of this…"

Remus quickly fell behind him as they pushed past the crowd up the stairs. A few shot indignant glances at the two.

"Hey! No cutting!"

Sirius sent a glare which made the student shrink into himself.

"It's **our** room, git." Turning back, Sirius threw the door leading to their room open…

* * *

Meanwhile…

* * *

Inside the room, the Hogwarts Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, was lying on his back on top of James' bed. Beside him, James was sitting in a chair with a quill and parchment, taking notes as the man spoke.

"…Everyone thinks my job is easy, but it's really not! There's a lot of pressure from parents, and the ministry of magic…Not to mention members of my own staff." He sighed. "And no one understands the significance of my candy passwords! They keep the office more light-spirited... but the other professors just think I'm childish."

James nodded thoughtfully. "I see. And how does that make you feel?"

"Well, I sometimes feel a bit underappreciated. And-"

"**PRONGS!**"

Startled, the two in the room jumped at the shriek that had come from both Remus and Sirius simultaneously. Both boys were standing in the doorway, staring at the scene in front of them incredulously.

"What. Are. You. Doing!?" Remus hollered. James immediately chucked the pen and paper away and threw himself at his two friends, hugging their feet and crying.

"I don't want to be the emotionally stable one anymore! I can have issues too! And I know way too much about Dumbledore, just MAKE IT STOP!!!"

Moony could do nothing more than stare as James wailed while Sirius kicked him in the head trying to get him to let go. When they were finally released, Remus calmly picked up James' quill and made his way across the room. For a moment, his hand hovered over the infamous list. Finally, he settled in his mind and wrote the newest symptom.

48.) Therapy

Sirius looked over, ignoring the still sobbing James, and Dumbledore who was still sitting on the bed. Cocking his head to the side, he questioned Remus.

"Wouldn't that be more like, a cure for insanity?"

Remus looked at him and shook his head vigorously. "Not this time, Padfoot."

Meanwhile, Dumbledore looked over the side of the bed at a still sobbing James. "Does this mean my session's over?" His only response was a long wail. The headmaster smiled cheerily as he stood up. He leaned down and pat the boy on the head.

"Right, same time next week then!"

* * *

**James stood between Voldemort and his family. He raised his wand as he questioned the dark wizard.**

**"Tell me, Voldemort, why my son? Why!?"**

**The madman threw his head back and laughed. "James, everyone knows you're the emotionally stable one of the group!"**

**"NOOOOO!!!!!"

* * *

**

**...And _that's _why Harry's "The chosen one". XD **

***is shot* **

**Sorry, I couldn't resist... **

**Anywho, yes. Therapy is now a symptom of insanity. Don't you love the irony? Well, I was going to make this into a separate one shot where James counsels everyone, but it actually fit pretty well into the story, so...here you are! Next chapter will be the final prank of the Marauders' fourth year.**

**Please review and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading! ~BFMS  
**


	35. Joke's On Who?

"It's really very simple. All it takes is a simple levitation spell!"

"That's not the part I'm worried about. It the maneuvering through the castle part that has me concerned."

"Hm, I see what you mean… could we lower them through the window?"

"Are you kidding! One stupid move and they're falling twenty stories to the ground! We want to prank them, not kill them."

"Hmmmm…." The pretty red-headed Gryffindor stroked her chin in thought. She was currently holding a meeting with several other Gryffindors along with one Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin student. It was two days before the last day of school, and this year, it was the _Marauders _who would be pranked. She'd make sure of it.

One of the younger Gryffindors raised their hand. "Could we make a portkey of some kind?"

Lily shook her head. "No, I'm pretty sure that's illegal or something…"

This time the Hufflepuff spoke up. "Well, we could just do it after lunch. You know, we could slip a sleeping potion into their drinks or something. Then we only have to move them from the great hall."

There was a general buzz of agreement at this plan. Lily nodded and began speaking again. "Alright, that will work. So we'll need to work out the number of students needed to do the actual moving, I'd prefer higher year students be put on that job. I'll take care of acquiring a sleeping potion. Everyone else will be assigned to place locking charms on all doors and windows."

"How are we even going to do that? Do you have any idea how many windows this place has!"

"I know. But with the number of students we'll have it shouldn't be too bad. We'll just start from the ground up. If we miss a few near the top it wont matter because they wont be able to reach them anyway."

This seemed to satisfy the group. They were just getting ready to disperse when someone spoke up.

"What about Filch?"

A mild panic spread quickly, most ready to call off the whole thing. However, Lily quickly raised her hands for silence. "Don't worry, I've already taken care of it. He's given us the okay."

"What!" Apparently most of the room had trouble believing her.

Lily nodded. "Uh huh. I just said it was to prank the Marauders and he was all for it. Even offered to help if we needed it."

There were a few shrugs as people began filtering out of the room. The Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff representatives headed out to begin relaying the plan to their respective houses. Soon, the classroom they had gathered in was empty once more. As she made her way back to her room, a certain red-head smiled evilly…

* * *

**Two days later, at lunch...**

If Dumbledore had know that revenge against the Marauders would be the thing that united the students of Hogwarts, he would have told the staff not to give them detention as much. It was really quite amazing to watch them work. The seats next to Lily Evans were left open, knowing that one James Potter would not be able to resist sitting next to the object of his affections. The sleeping potion, which had been stealthily added to the drinks before the Marauders' arrival, were consumed without question. Judging by the amount of potion added to the drinks, Dumbledore would guess it would last roughly two hours.

After a few minutes, all four boys were face down on the table. Immediately, the students of the school set to work. Eight seventh year students, two from each house, were assigned to moving the Marauders. For each Marauder, there would be one student to move them using a levitation spell, and one to supervise in case they needed help opening doors or anything. The rest of the school set out to charm as many doors and windows as they could. The four troublemakers would be trapped outside and unable to wreak havoc on the people of Hogwarts for their annual "end of the year prank".

The old headmaster chuckled as the Great Hall quickly emptied. Well, if this prank managed to to bring together four feuding houses, who was he to stop it?

* * *

Lily sighed in happiness as the students around her cheered, the sound of butterbeer glasses clinking together filling her ears. They had done it! Soon, the Marauders would awaken to find themselves trapped outside of the castle with no way of attending the feast or pranking their classmates. Everywhere in the school people were celebrating. The Marauders had finally been defeated!

...

…Or so they thought…

* * *

The time had finally come for the end of the year feast. The Lily chatted with her friends as they made their way down to the Great Hall. However, when they arrived, they found half the school in angry confusion. One student shouted to the incoming students.

"Everything's GONE!"

"What?"

Running into the room, the entire school found that the room was indeed, empty. There was nothing, no feast, no plates, heck no _tables. _Teachers and students alike glanced around, as if the contents of the room were simply hidden.

"Hey, what's this?"

A Hufflepuff first year had noticed a single plate in the center of the room with a small piece of paper placed on it. The girl reached down to pick it up. Lily's eyes widened.

"NO!"

But it was too late. As soon as the girl's fingers brushed the paper, every person in the room was sent flying into the air. It was a peculiar sensation, Lily decided. After a certain height, it was as if gravity had shifted. All of a sudden, they weren't flying up, they were falling _down._

There were many groans as the people of Hogwarts landed harshly, some on top of each other. Lily rubbed her head as she sat up and looked up. Or, down. Or, well, she wasn't quiet sure what direction it was at the moment. All she knew was that she was looking _up _at the _floor. _She didn't understand. What just happened?

"Lily!"

The red-head looked over and saw one of her friend gesturing her over to one of the windows. She noticed that many students were standing and glaring out the windows. Making her way over, she soon found out why.

Though it was strange due to everything being upside-down, she could still see, outside on the lawn in clear view of the Great Hall windows, the Marauders. But not just the Marauders, oh no. All four tables, the entire feast, and even Gryffindor banners (held up by some spell) were outside. The four boys were laughing madly as they ate their food (and everyone else's).

Lily screeched in indignation as she pounded at the windows. James shouted back at her, voice slightly muffled from distance and the window, but still clearly. "Find a better place for your meetings, love!"

If it hadn't been the last day of school, McGonagall might have had to give Lily a detention for some of the words leaving her mouth.

"What the heck does this even mean?"

Lily turned and saw the young girl from earlier still holding the paper that had caused all their trouble. Apparently there was something written on it. Rushing over, Lily snatched the paper from the girl, reading the small message.

49.) Trying to prank the MASTERS!

"So what does it mean?" Another student asked.

Lily narrowed her eyes. "I don't know…" She glanced back out at the laughing Marauders. "…but I may have to kill them before I find out!"

* * *

***stands before chirping crickets* Hello. I would like to take this moment to express my deepest apologies and explain myself. First, I am _extremely _sorry for the lack of updates. However, I do have my reasons. In the last *cringes at sight of calander* two months since the last chapter, my best friend was injured and ended up needed surgery, I had a relative pass away, I had to turn in an 11 page documented critical essay and a 17 page psychology research paper in the same week, I had some issues with college applications, and then to top it all off, I was hit with the dreaded writer's block. **

**And so, I want to thank all of you who are still willing to read this story despite my inconsistancy, and I hope that you are still able to find it enjoyable. And please believe me when I say I am _trying _to update more often. **

**You're all amazing and thank you _sooo _much for reading! ~BFMS  
**


	36. Sweet Dreams

"Prongs! Stop hogging the quaffle!"

"But I have a shot!"

"Yeah, now that you've flown all the way across the field!"

Remus laughed as he watched his two friends bicker. It was the middle of August now, and in keep with tradition, the Marauders would be spending the remainder of the summer in the Potter home. At the moment he, along with his three friends, were currently flying above a mini Quidditch field behind James Potter's house. Their game mostly consisted of the boys randomly passing the ball until one of them made the mistake of passing it to James, who would then fly off to score.

"Hey Remus?"

The werewolf turned. "Yeah Peter?"

"Should we be concerned?"

"About them? Come on, Wormtail, they fight all the time! And this isn't even-"

"No, not them. _That."_

Remus looked in the distance to where the boy was pointing. His eyes widened. There looming over the hills, were thunderheads, rolling in fast. Realizing that it would not be very long before they were caught in a summer storm, Remus turned to the still arguing boys.

"Hey! Guys! I think we might want to go inside soon."

Sirius turned, looking confused. "Huh? Why?"

Just as Peter had done earlier, Moony pointed. Soon, three of the boys were flying quickly towards the house, while Sirius flew lazily behind them.

"Wusses!"

* * *

The Marauders were now gathered in James' room, which had been expanded to allow for the accommodation of three extra people. Outside, rain pounded on the window, with the occasional flashes of thunder and lightning shining through.

Sirius spoke up from his place on the floor. "I still say we could have kept playing."

Remus sighed. "Padfoot, we'd all prefer not to get stuck by _lighting _by flying in a storm like this."

Sirius pouted, but remained silent. At that moment, there was a particularly loud crash of thunder accompanied by a flash of lighting, causing Peter to jump in the air. James laughed.

"What, you're not afraid of a little lightning, are you Wormtail?"

The rat-like boy blushed as he narrowed his eyes. "Of course no-" Another crash of thunder had Peter jumping yet again. He glared at James and Sirius as they laughed. "I can't help it! It's so loud and…It's bolts of electricity shooting from the sky! Give me a break!"

James got up and put his arm around Peter's shoulders. "Don't worry, Peter. We understand."

"Oh. Well, that's goo-"

"I mean, you have every reason to be afraid."

"I do?"

Being freakishly similar, it didn't take long for Sirius to catch on to what James was doing. He quickly stood and put his arm over Peter's other shoulder, so that he was sandwiched between the two Marauders.

"Oh yeah. I mean, it was a night just like this, wasn't it James?"

Remus soon realized what was happening as well. "Guys…"

James grinned. "Oh yes. It was storming the night Inigo Madley…well, you know."

Peter's eyes widened. "What!? What happened!?"

"You don't know? Inigo Madley was a student at Hogwarts years ago."

"Before any of us were even born."

"They say he sold his soul to the Devil-"

"to become impervious to any curse-"

"but he was driven mad with power."

"He tried to kill the Devil himself-"

"but he was horribly burned by the flames of Hell!"

"Enraged by the attempt on his life, the Devil cursed him-"

"to live forever wandering the Earth-"

"finding more souls for the Devil."

"They say Madley loves stormy nights-"

"because the thunder and lightning-"

"mask the flashes from his wand-"

"as he steals your SOUL!" Just as James spoke the last word, there was a crash of thunder and lightning, causing Peter to shriek in fear and fall to the ground, covering his head in fear.

Remus frowned as James and Sirius laughed. "That was mean, guys." The werewolf leaned down to help Peter stand again. Sirius wiped a few tears of laughter from his eyes.

"Oh, lighten up Moony. We were just kidding around!"

"Yeah, it's all in good fun!" James added.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Yeah well, don't. It's only fun for you two. Besides, it's getting late."

The boys looked and found that it was indeed well past time for them to go to bed. After a few more jokes and getting themselves ready, the four friends said goodnight and turned off the nights. Exhausted from the games of the day, they were all asleep within moments.

* * *

_Peter was walking outside, struggling against the force of the storm raging around him. Rain whipped at his face as he pressed forward. Looking around, he called out for his friends, unsure as to why he was alone. To his right, he noticed a forest of tall trees, casting dark shadows beyond them. _

"_H-hello?"_

_There was no response, only crackling laughter muffled by the rain. "W-who's there?" Suddenly, out from the shadows, a tall man, thin and skeletal with yellow eyes crept towards him. Instinctively, Peter knew who it was._

"_Inigo Madley!"_

_The figure only laughed harder, raising his wand. Peter tried to run, but his feet seemed to be caught in the mud, stopping him from moving. Thunder crashed and a bright flash of light flew from Madley's wand, aimed for the boy's soul…_

_

* * *

_

Peter shot upright with a gasp. His eyes darted around the dark room. After a few moments, he realized where he was. He was at James'. It was summer. He was with his friends. Inigo Madley didn't exist. He was safe.

However, no matter how many times he told himself this, the young boy simply could not fall asleep. Every shadow was a hiding space for evil, every bolt of lighting a spell to steal his soul. Shivering slightly, he sucked up what little pride he had left and stood up. Fumbling around in the darkness, his hands soon found the bed closest to him. He couldn't remember who it was that was sleeping there, but began shaking them awake regardless.

"Hmmf…Wormtail?" The dazed voice asked.

Peter blinked as his eyes adjusted to the darkness more.

"Sirius?"

The boy groaned as he buried his face in his pillow. "Peter do you have any idea what time it is?"

"No."

Sirius blinked up at him before shaking his head. "Well what do you want?"

Peter shifted nervously. "I had a nightmare."

"And?"

"…can I stay with you?"

"…are you serious?"

"…"

The dark haired boy blinked in surprise. He even shook his head a few times, as if to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Finally, he sighed, rubbing his face.

"Go back to bed, Peter."

The boy's heart sank, but he merely lowered his head and began to make his way back to his own bed. Still fearful from the nightmare, he sank into the mattress and pulled the covers all the way up to his chin, closing his eyes and hoping to simply block out the storm. However, he had only been lying there a moment when a sudden weight caused him to shriek in surprise.

Bolting upright for the second time that night, he found himself face to face with Padfoot. But it wasn't the Padfoot he was expecting. He was in his animagus form, a large black dog sitting on his bed. Still in shock, Peter simply gawked at the creature. But, apparently not appreciating the staring, the dog playfully licked the side of his face.

"Ew, yuk!" The boy cried, even though he was holding back laughter. He smiled and gave the dog a pat on the head. Feeling his previous feeling of fear and rejection begin to melt away, Peter put his head back down on his pillow. As he did so, Sirius moved to lie down beside him, his head resting on Peter's stomach.

Once they had both gotten comfortable, they prepared to sleep again. Suddenly, there was a large crash of thunder, causing Peter to jump slightly. Feeling this, Sirius growled. However, for some reason he couldn't explain, Peter knew that the dog wasn't growling at him. It was almost as though he was growling at the weather. At his fears.

Peter giggled when the next boom of thunder was significantly softer. He turned and smiled at his companion. "You scared 'em off, didn't ya?"

The dog wagged his tail and looked at him. Peter could almost hear his friend's voice despite his current form. _No one will hurt you while I'm here. _

Feeling a cliché warm feeling within him, it did not take Peter long to fall asleep with his hand on the dog's back and a smile on his face.

The next morning, neither James nor Remus questioned why Sirius had been in dog form or why he had been with Peter. They merely attacked them both with pillows, effectually waking both up. Effortlessly, Sirius shifted back to human form and began retaliating. Peter laughed and joined in as well. After they were all worn out and covered in feathers, they made their way down to breakfast. James didn't question why Sirius wanted to see the list, nor did he question the new addition to it.

50.) Nightmares

* * *

**Wooh! 50th symptom! *throws confetti***

**Hope you enjoyed! I know this wasn't a particularly funny one, but here's the thing... I hate Peter Pettigrew. Seriously, I don't like him. He betrayed the Marauders and got my favorite character locked up in Azkaban! Uncool man... However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized, he _was_ a Marauder. And his friends _did _care about him and vice versa. Sirius said it himself, they would have died for him. And they obviously trusted him to make him secret keeper for the Potters. So, I wanted to do a chapter that showed this a bit more, as a challenge for myself. I'm okay with the main body of the chapter, I don't particularly care for the symptom, but I couldn't really think of much else (so if anyone had a better idea, let me know and I can edit it!). I'm also going to try to include Peter a bit more, or at least acknowledge him more. But I don't know. How have I been doing so far?  
**

**Well, I hope you liked it, but either way swing me a review and let me know what you think! I'm going to try really hard to get the next chapter out faster. Thank you all for your patience! You're awesome! ~BFMS  
**


	37. Huggles From Snuggles

"I can't believe school is a mere week away!"

"Sirius…"

"I haven't done a single summer assignment! Which, admittedly, I am a little proud of."

"Sirius!"

"But still! McGonagall's probably going to have a fit! Oh, woe is me!"

"SIRIUS!"

The black-haired boy blinked at his messy-haired companion.

"What?"

James' eyebrow twitched as he managed to grind out, "Let. Go."

Sirius giggled as he released the choke hold he'd had on the other wizard's neck, causing James to stagger forward a few steps. He smiled at his friend's glare.

"What? Don't tell me I had holding too hard?"

James narrowed his eyes. "No, but we're in the middle of the SIDEWALK!"

Indeed, the two boys, along with their other friends Remus and Peter, were currently occupying a portion of a busy sidewalk in Diagon Alley. James crossed his arms as he glared at Sirius.

"Padfoot, I know I've told you this every other day since we met in first year, but I shall tell you again… COOL IT WITH THE PDA!"

Remus and Peter giggled as Sirius pouted at James' outburst. The werewolf shook his head and began walking ahead of his friends.

"Come on guys, we are in fact here for a reason." It was true, the four had traveled to the magic alley in order to buy the necessary supplies for the upcoming school year. Still glaring at his friend, James nodded while Sirius merely giggled and skipped after them, Peter lagging a bit behind as usual.

Remus glanced around the street, trying to decide which store to enter first. His eyes darted between the supplies list in his hand to the line of shops. However, it wasn't long before he got a strange sense of déjà vu…

"Sirius!" James shouted, trying to pry the black-haired menace known as Padfoot from around his waist. "We JUST went through this!" James sighed in exasperation as Sirius continued to smile and hug him. "Remus, how come he never does this to you?"

Moony merely grinned. He had long ago learned that complaining only strengthened Sirius' resolve. Remus never made a big deal when Sirius clung to him, and the other boy soon left.

"Just ignore him, Prongs."

"HOW?" The hazel-eyes boy cried, as Sirius had begun rubbing his face in his friend's hair.

Despite his best efforts (well, maybe not his _best)_, Remus burst out laughing, thoroughly amused by his friend's predicament. Shaking his head, he ducked into a book shop, quickly followed by his friends.

Luckily, once inside the shop Sirius was distracted enough searching for the proper books that James was temporarily safe. Remus scanned the inside of the building. There were only a few other customers within the store, none of which he recognized. Returning to his search, he made his way towards the front of the shop. Hearing the quiet chime of the bell above the door, alerting him to the entrance of more customers, the werewolf looked up. And quickly ran to find his friends. He found James first.

"Prongs! Where's Sirius?"

"I dunno, why?"

"I highly suggest we leave. Right now."

"Again, why?"

"Because-"

"Well, well, well…"

Both boys cringed at the voice. They ran towards the source, running into Peter along the way, and found their fourth friend glaring heatedly at two familiar faces.

"If it isn't my dear old cousin."

Bellatrix and Narcissa Black.

Sirius crossed his arms. "What are you doing here, Bella? You graduated last year."

The witch merely smirked. "I was simply assisting my dear little sister with her school shopping. After all," She glared, "family's important."

"Is that so? Oh by the way, how's your _other _sister doing?"

"Blood-traitors don't count!"

The three marauders exchanged looks, not sure what to do. The argument was starting to attract the attention of the other customers.

Sirius rolled his eyes at his cousin. "I sometimes wonder what you would have been like without all the inbreeding."

Bellatrix's eyes burned, but she had also noticed the attention they were gathering. Lifting her chin in a proud manner, she spoke. "Come now, Sirius, don't make a scene!"

James, Remus and Peter all flinched. Telling Sirius not to make a scene, was like…something bad. The three exchanged looks and smiled. They almost pitied Bellatrix for not having the intelligence to know her enemy. Almost.

Slowly, Sirius broke into a wide, devious grin. He took a breath. The marauders sat back and watched.

"OH YOU POOR, DEAR GIRL!"

The dark haired witch had only a moment to be shocked by the outburst before she was engulfed in a spine-crushing embrace from her hated relative. Despite being his senior by several years, Sirius was quite a bit taller, and with her arms pinned to her sides, she had no way of reaching her wand.

"BEING RAISED IN SUCH A DISFUNCTIONAL FAMILY SITUATION! OH WOE! IF ONLY YOU'D BEEN HUGGED MORE GROWING UP! YOU UNFORTUNATE, AFFECTION-STARVED GIRL! IT'S BECAUSE YOUR MARRYING YOUR FIRST COUSIN, ISN'T IT? YOU FEEL THE NEED TO ACT OUT! YOU POOR CHILD! YOU DEPRIVED YOUTH! ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE!"

By this point, Bella was screeching in fury, the marauders were howling with laughter, and the people of the store were staring in confusion. Bella noted with horror that one of the families watching was a friend of her parents. If they found out about this little occurrence, she'd never heard the end of it.

Unfortunately, just as the manager was asking them to leave, Sirius noticed the family too, recognizing them for one of the many family functions he was dragged to. Gripping his cousin tighter in his arms, he smirked evilly before turning to the manager.

"You must excuse us, sir! My dearest cousin is quite distraught about her upcoming marriage. She use to have a thing for me, but I turned her down and my rejection has tormented her soul!"

The witch was mortified as she noticed the pure-blood family whisper to each other, no doubt preparing to relay this new information to her parents. She struggled harder against the boy who was now crushing her ribs and rubbing his face in her hair.

Finally, she broke free. Fully prepared to strangle the young Gryffindor, she prepared to leap forward. But she then realized, the damage was done. The family had grabbed their child and were now heading out the door, preparing to hastily spread some juicy gossip about the Black's eldest daughter. Glaring back at the four laughing boys, Bellatrix grabbed her sister and sprinted after the family, hoping to catch them before they reached her parents.

"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS SIRIUS!"

The boys merely continued laughing, rolling on the floor and clutching their ribs. The manager eventually gave up trying to kick them out, instead opting to get some fire whiskey from the back room. James was the first to speak up, forcing out words between laughs.

"Oh-oh Padfoot, that was bloody amazing! Good thing you're coming home with me or you'd be toast!"

"I know, right? Totally worth it though!"

"Definitely. I never realized how much fun that could be when you do it to someone else!"

Remus spoke next. "Yeah, now you now how we feel watching him do that to you, Prongs!"

"Aw, don't worry! There's enough love for everyone!" Sirius exclaimed as he leapt onto all three of his friends simultaneously.

"Agh!"

"Sirius, what have you been eating?"

"Get off!"

"Aw, you guys loved me a second ago!"

"Yeah, but now you're smothering us!"

"With LOVE!"

As always seemed to be the case for the poor boy, all but James managed to escape Sirius' grasp.

"Padfoot! Let me go!"

"Not until you say you love me!"

"Get off!"

"Come on, Jamesie."

"No!"

"What, you don't love me?"

"Not right now, I don't."

"You're making this so much more difficult…" Sirius gripped his ribs harder. A bell chimed in the background.

"ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! FINE! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE YOU! 'MY HEART BLEEDS ONLY FOR YOU' KIND OF LOVE! HAPPY?"

"Hehe…"

All four boys whipped their heads up. There, standing in the doorway, was none other than Lily Evans. In front of her, was Remus and Peter, standing next to a bookshelf, while Sirius was lying on top of James on the floor, arms wrapped tight around him, while James professed his love. Lily giggled again.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to…interrupt…" She burst out into giggles again and ran back out of the store.

"Wait! Lily! COME BACK!"

Remus, Peter, and Sirius once again found themselves howling on the floor with laughter. James on the other hand, was sobbing and hitting his head repeatedly against the floor. Peter gave him a pat on the shoulder.

"You've got great timing, don't you mate?"

James let out a wail of despair. Meanwhile, Remus moved to James' other side and maneuvered a roll of paper out of the unresponsive boys' pocket. After a few seconds of yanking the lengthy parchment from the pocked, Remus pulled out a quill and began to write.

51.) Overly Dramatic Public Displays of Affection.

Peter glanced over his shoulder, cocking his head to the side.

"…How did this not end up on the list sooner?"

* * *

**Peter's ending line? That was my reaction after finishing this chapter. I was suffering from writer's block, and decided to look at the last Diagon Alley chapter, because I couldn't remember what I had done. The I read the one scene mentioning Sirius' "overly dramatic public displays of affection", and I was all, "how did I not make this, like, one of the first ten symptoms!" Oh well. Better late than never I suppose. (And by the way, I am totally guilty of this symptom. XP )  
**

**Two chapters at once! And the next update will be a pair, too and is already half written, so it should be up this week!**

**And now... to the next chapter!  
**


	38. And You Are?

Sirius sighed as his head hit his desk.

"Back at school. Ugh…"

Resident werewolf and bookworm, Remus Lupin, gave him a pat on the shoulder sympathetically.

"Cheer up, mate. Only three more years!"

The only response was a long groan. Soon enough, Professor McGonagall walked into the room, ready to begin another year of transfiguration lessons. This year, they got the added bonus of a half hour lecture on the importance of fifth year, and grades and OWLs and blah blah blah… Sirius began absentmindedly running his quill across his desk, leaving little lines of ink in front of him.

Suddenly, McGonagall cried out, "Mr. Potter! I would appreciate it if you would cease defacing school property."

Sirius immediately looked over at James, amused that they had both been messing with the desk,, only the find the messy-haired boy looking at the professor in confusion. Sirius soon realized that McGonagall was looking at _him. _But that meant…

"Wait… professor, did you just call me 'Mr. Potter'?"

The woman blinked, suddenly realizing her error. "Oh. My apologizes, Mr. Potter, I meant to address Mr. _Black." _She raised an eyebrow as she looked between the two boys. "Although you are practically interchangeable." The two marauders exchanged a glance before turning back to their professor.

"I don't see it." James said nonchalantly.

McGonagall shook her head in exasperation. "Never mind. Please do not draw on the desks Mr. _Black._"

The marauders chuckled, and class returned to normal, the four friends temporarily forgetting the slip-up.

Until the next day…

* * *

THE NEXT DAY

"So, who do you think the new DADA teacher will be?" Peter asked innocently.

James shrugged. "Who knows, Wormtail. Does anyone else find it weird that no teacher lasts longer than a year in that class?"

"Maybe the position's cursed." Sirius suggested. After a moment, all four burst out laughing.

"Haha, yeah like that could ever happen…"

Walking into the classroom, they finally saw the new teacher. He was most likely in his early forties, had long brown hair with a tie-dye bandanna over his forehead, a peace sign necklace around his neck, and round purple sunglasses on. The marauders stood for a moment, gaping. Remus spoke first, saying what they all were thinking.

"Sweet Merlin, he's a hippie!"

Quickly finding seats in the back of the classroom, the four waited to see exactly what they were dealing with. As soon as all of the students had arrived, the teacher stood.

He spoke to the class with a laid-back, airy tone. "Hello. My name is Professor Silverstein, but you may call me…Apollo." He began walking through the desk aisles, occasionally placing his hand on an unsuspecting student's head. "In this class, we will all be on a first name basis. It will help us to bond, and to move forward together. I will teach you the ways of protecting yourself, without bringing harm to others."

"Killjoy." Sirius mumbled.

"VIOLENCE IS NEVER THE ANSWER!" The entire class jumped at his sudden exclamation. But it only lasted a moment and the strange teacher then began going around to learn names. This went on fine until he reached the marauders' table.

"And what are your names?"

"I'm Remus Lupin."

"P-peter Pettigrew."

"James."

"I'm Sirius."

The teacher suddenly bent down and put a hand on Sirius' head. "It's okay, you don't need to be serious in this class. I want everyone to feel comfortable and relaxed."

James and the other stifled laughs as they watched their friend's eye twitch irritably. "No, _sir_," he ground out, "my _name _is Sirius. S-I-R-I-U-S."

Apollo blinked. "Oh." He released the boy's head. "Right on, man." As he walked away, Sirius made strangling motions behind his back.

Roughly half an hour later, the students of the class were practicing shield charms, trying to create larger and stronger barriers to protect themselves with. And this was when things began to get a bit out of control.

You see, at one point, our very own James Potter cast an excellent spell, his shield covering himself and several students around him. Seeing the magnificent spell-work, Apollo walked over and gave him a pat on the back.

"Totally awesome, Sirius!"

At this, all four marauders gave him a look.

"Uh, I'm James."

Blinking slightly, the man quickly corrected himself. "Woah, sorry man! Got a bit mixed up I guess."

James and Sirius exchanged a look, thinking it a bit odd for this to happen to them again, but let it go and returned to their spells. However, a few minutes late, Sirius accidentally cast his barrier a bit too wide, almost knocking another student off their feet. Mr. Silverstein called over.

"Careful over there, James!"

"I'm Sirius!" came the indignant reply.

And then a few minutes later…

"Try to wave your wand a little gentler, Sirius."

"James!"

And later…

"Woah! Radical shield, James!"

"It's Sirius!"

Soon, the whole class was getting confused.

"Wait, which one's James?"

"That one?"

"No, James is the shorter one."

"NO I'M NOT!"

"Sirius?"

"Wormtail, I swear to Merlin if you're not joking I'm gonna…"

"Yeah, and I'll help."

"Come on, James, violence doesn't solve anything."

"HOLY !%*$*&^ I'M SIRIUS!"

"Woah man, there was no need for that."

By the end of class, James was standing in a corner, banging his head against a wall, and Sirius was fuming and holding his wand out in front of him threateningly, just daring anyone to call him the wrong name. The tripped out teacher looked between the two, opening his mouth to say something, before thinking better of it and remaining silent. Finally, he returned to the front desk sitting on top of it before announcing,

"Class dismissed."

* * *

Unfortunately, by dinner word had gotten out that Potter and Black were now apparently interchangeable. Remus and Peter sat across from their two friends, who had been discussing something when they came in.

"What's going on?" Remus asked.

James answered, "We're trying to decide the best way to handle this whole name situation."

"We're torn between switching names, or simply sharing." Sirius piped up.

"What do you mean by 'sharing'?" Peter asked.

At that moment, the current Gryffindor Quidditch captain approached them.

"Oye, Potter!"

"**Yes**?" James and Sirius answered simultaneously. The captain looked between them, confused.

"Uh, just letting you know we're going to wait till next week to start announcing tryouts.

"**Okay**." The two again spoke together. After a moment of staring, the captain finally shook his head and walked away. James and Sirius looked back to Remus and Peter, smiling and speaking together.

"**See**?" They were so synchronized it was almost kind of creepy. Remus decided to tell them as much.

"That's creepy." Dear Gosh, they even pout together…

"Fine," James spoke, thankfully alone this time. "Then we'll just switch names entirely!"

Remus just smiled and shook his head at his friends' antics. They really were quite amusing sometimes. Later that evening, as they were heading up to their dorms, none other than Severus "Snivillus" Snape crossed their path.

"Potter!"

Sirius turned around. "Yes?"

The Slytherin student blinked in surprised, glancing between the boy who responded and the boy he wanted to talk to. "Uh…"

"Did you have something to say, Snivillus?"

Snape glared in anger. "Slughorn wanted me to tell _Potter,"_ He stressed, "that he left his book in class and to come pick it up after breakfast tomorrow."

Sirius nodded. "Alright then. Thanks Snivillus!"

"Don't call me that! And I wasn't even talking to you!"

"Or were you?" Sirius whispered mysteriously.

"What?" Snape was suddenly very confused.

Sirius gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Just think about it." And then he turned and followed after his companions, leaving a thoroughly perplexed Slytherin in his wake.

* * *

Entering their dorm, it didn't take long for someone to approach the infamous list and begin scrawling on it.

52.) Switching names

James chuckled. "What, but sharing names isn't insane?"

"Or mixing ours up all day?"

"No, those are too, I was just too lazy to write all of that and figured this sort of covered everything."

"Ah, good point."

Peter suddenly spoke up from his bed. "Oh yeah, Sirius, someone said they saw your jacket on the couch downstairs."

"I completely forgot about that! Thanks Remus!"

And the other marauders could only stare open-mouthed as they watched him run out of the room, and the door close behind him.

* * *

**Ah, poor Padfoot and Prongs... My English teacher is apparently incapable of calling me or this other girl our correct names, he mixes us up ALL THE TIME! We've sort of gotten use to responding to eachother's names. I figured it wouldn't be surprising for something similar to happen to those two.**

**Also, just like their fourth year, I don't know who the DADA teacher was in their fifth year, so I have taken creative liberties. Heck yeah. Word. Peace out.**

**And just a little warning for those of you who care, the next two chapters will not be humorous (twenty bucks says you know what's going down) so just giving you a heads up. **

**Hope you enjoyed these chapters! And thanks again to all who read and review, I super appreciate it! ~BFMS  
**


	39. Willow, Willow, Willow: pt 1

**~Willow, Willow, Willow...Weeping For Me**~

**Part 1**

* * *

Sirius was tired. He was exhausted because he hadn't slept well and he'd gotten another letter from his family that bit into his heart and Remus was howling somewhere while he wandered the hallways until it was time to meet him. He was tired.

And the last person he wanted to see, was Severus Snape.

The Slytherin saw him coming, and quickly stepped into the middle of his path, stopping him from moving.

"Out of my way, Snivillus. I'm not in the mood to deal with you."

The other boy glared. "Where are your friends, Black? Breaking rules again?"

"No, but I might break your nose if you don't get out of my way."

"Haha, your so clever, Black." Snape cocked his head to the side. "But I _am _curious as to were that Lupin boy was. He missed dinner tonight."

"So?"

"So, it seems to me that he's absent a lot."

"What, you stalk us now, too?"

"I'm not the only one who's noticed." He said angrily. "And I know that you and your friends sneak out at night too. So where do you go?"

"Why are our lives suddenly so interesting to you?"

Snape shrugged. "You never know when information could come in handy."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and that's exactly why we go around broadcasting our escapades to the whole school." He said sarcastically. "Now leave me alone."

Just as he was preparing to walk away, the Slytherin turned and called out. "Talked to Regulus lately?"

Sirius was stopped in his tracks. He slowly turned back to his enemy. "What's that suppose to mean?"

Severus smirked. "Oh nothing. Just that he's become pretty popular in Slytherin. He and I have even become quite close. What was it he told me the other day? Oh right! That I was like the 'brother he never had'."

Fire erupted behind Sirius' eyes. Snape didn't know anything. Not about him, his family, his brother, anything. Sirius' mind was frozen in anger. His mouth was in overdrive.

"You know what, Snivillus? If you really want to know where we sneak off to, all you have to do is go to the willow."

The other boy frowned in confusion, not expecting this turn of events. "The Whomping Willow? That thing would kill anyone who gets too close."

"Hah! And you boast about being so smart. All you have to do is press one of the knots at the base of the trunk. Find out yourself."

Sirius turned and began to walk away, listening as Snape scurried off to test his theory. It took about five steps for Sirius' mind to catch up to him.

_I just sent Snape to the willow… I just sent Snape to the Willow… Were Remus will be… Where __**it **__will be…_

Sirius spun around.

"WAIT!"

But it was too late. Severus was already gone, on his way to a danger he could not even imagine. His chest felt tight. He felt dizzy, lightheaded. He couldn't breath. Was this what a panic attack felt like?

_Who cares! Breath later, call James NOW!_

He didn't know why he thought calling James was a solution, but he just needed someone to know, to help him. He dug desperately through his pocket until his fingers finally found the small mirror he was looking for. Sirius felt tears sting his eyes, his breathing become more erratic as he shouted out,

"James Potter!"

It couldn't have taken more than a heartbeat for the other boy's face to appear, but his heart was pounding so furiously against his ribs that even it could not be trusted as a measure of time.

"Padfoot?"

Sirius felt his knees weaken, and he had to reach out to grab the wall to keep himself from toppling over then and there.

"Sirius? Sirius what's wrong?"

The tears escaped now. Overflowed as he finally managed to form words.

"Prongs, James, I told him."

"Told who? What?"

"Snape. I told him how to get past the Willow."

Another heartbeat. How long this time?

"You WHAT!" James' voice was panicked, confused. "Did you tell him about Remus?"

Sirius shook his head. "No. No, just about the Willow. But he's heading there… heading there now." He wasn't getting enough oxygen. He could feel the corners of his vision darkening. His breathing sped up, but if anything he felt as if he was receiving less air.

"I'm near the entrance. I'll try to catch him." James spoke more to himself than to Sirius, and within a moment his face disappeared from the mirror. Sirius let the object fall from his hand, clattering on the floor so loudly his ears ached. Or perhaps that was just the blood pulsing in his ears. He wasn't sure, and he didn't bother thinking about it as he finally collapsed on the floor.

And screamed.

* * *

Sirius could hear nothing. He could see James' mouth moving, could see the violent gestures and the horrible, angry eyes. But no words were reaching his ears. For a second he though that he was having another panic attack, but that couldn't be it. After Dumbledore had found him, hysterical and struggling to breath in the hallway, he had been given a healthy dose of calming draught. Dumbledore had then found Snape and James, who had managed to catch the Slytherin before any serious harm had befallen him. Now, he was standing receiving the punishment he deserved.

But the words rushed past him, through him. All he knew was pain. The gut retching feeling of his friends, his family, being torn away from him and it was his own fault. He wanted to say something, to apologize again, like he had so many times already, but nothing could be enough. Nothing could ever be enough.

He felt the door slam shut, and suddenly he was jerked back into reality. Like being doused in cold water. He was suddenly aware of being alone in the office with the old headmaster, former friend and enemy both gone. It took him a moment to bring his eyes to the old wizard's. He looked for anger, for disappointment, rage, anything like he had seen in James' eyes. But he found only sympathy. It felt wrong.

"…so now what?" Sirius asked, voice cracking a bit, sore from crying.

Dumbledore seemed thoughtful for a moment. "We all must bear the consequences of our actions. The ones effected by your decisions will be the ones to decide your punishment, Mr. Black."

Sirius blinked in surprise. He thought for sure he would be expelled or, or something. Although he already knew, what he was going through right now was worse than expulsion. Letting his head drop, Sirius stared at the floor, lost in the thoughts of his own self-deprecation. He was startled when he felt a warm hand fall gently on his shoulder. He looked up and faced his headmaster, who was smiling kindly.

"Sirius, this is a bad thing you have done," The boy moved to look down, only to find Dumbldore's hand keeping his chin in place. "but," he continued "that does not mean you are a bad person."

And with that, Sirius was sent out, to draw comfort and doubt from the wise wizards words.

* * *

James stormed into his dorm room, the door slamming violently behind him. But he didn't care. He was seeing red. He couldn't even think straight. Grabbing the first thing he could find, a thick Charms text book, he let out a strangled cry and hurled it with all his might against the wall. As he stood in the center of the room, panting, he noticed the list. More hot, anger filled him. Rushing to the parchment, he angrily grabbed it from the wall. He gripped it in his hands, positioned to tear it to shreds. He stood there for a minute, staring at the paper. He gripped it harder and…. He released it. For whatever reason, some deep intuition he couldn't understand yet, he could not bring himself to destroy it. However, after a moment, he picked it back up off the ground and grabbed a quill. He wrote furiously, his strokes sharp and angry, somehow darker than normal.

53.) **BETRAYING YOUR FRIENDS**

Breathing heavily, the boy placed the list back on the wall. He then turned and sat down on the edge of his bed, where he could stare at the words he had just written. The words, born from his own hand, seemed to burn his eyes. Slowly, he put his head in his hands.

And cried.

* * *

SIX YEARS LATER

Sirius stood, breathing heavily in rage, pain, despair, betrayal. Before him stood Peter Pettigrew, his friend. And murderer.

"Peter…" He couldn't comprehend this. How, how could this have happened? "Peter what have you done?"

The other looked at him, eyes wide. "I did what I had to." He stated, softly.

"You betrayed them. Us! You _killed_ them." And even as he said it his eyes filled with tears, his heart with pure pain. He still couldn't believe it. He searched the eyes of the man in front of him, looking for any resemblance of the boy he had known. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a memory resurfaced. He laughed, but there was no humor in it. Only brokenness and disbelief.

One single, hollow laugh.

"You're insane."

And as Peter raised his wand, Sirius looked into his eyes and saw the last of his friend die.

The stranger's lips twitched in an almost-smile.

"Yes… I suppose I am."

And everything went white.


	40. Willow, Willow, Willow: pt 2

**~Willow, Willow, Willow...Weeping For Me**~

**Part 2**

* * *

No one knew what had happened. The whole school just couldn't understand.

There were three marauders.

Sirius Black, at least the Sirius Black they all knew, was MIA. The only time he was even seen was during class, where he sat in the back far away from his three friends. He didn't come to meals, he didn't go in the common room, he wasn't even seen in his own dorm. They could only assume that he entered after the others fell asleep and left before they woke up. He didn't talk, laugh, smile. Slowly but surely, Sirius Black was fading away.

But that wasn't all. James Potter wasn't acting like himself either. He was angry, irritable. He snapped at anyone and anything. The laughter seemed stolen from him, too.

Meanwhile, Remus and Peter could only watch from the background, unsure of what to do about either of their friends. After the first week, Peter noticed Remus pull James aside to talk a few times, but each conversation only ended with James storming away furiously.

It was almost three weeks after the whole situation had begun, that things finally changed. It was during dinner in the Great Hall. Once again, Sirius was mysteriously missing. People were beginning to wonder if the boy ate at all. Remus sat, watching through narrowed eyes as James stabbed at his food viciously. His hands clenched, until he couldn't take it anymore. He threw his fork onto the table.

"That's it."

The students of Hogwarts looked up in surprise as the usually calm and quiet boy stood up angrily. Their surprise was only increased as Remus roughly grabbed James by the collar of his shirt and began dragging him out of the room, not caring that they were being watched. James stumbled behind his friend, trying to keep up as Remus forcefully pulled him along.

"Moony! What are you-"

"**This has gone on long enough!"**

James was immediately silenced. He had never heard his friend this angry. Even after what happened with Sirius, he had just been silent, upset, hurt. But not now. Now, he was angry.

The Hall was silent as the two boys exited the room, the door closing loudly behind them. After a moment, Peter returned to eating his food. Lily Evans, unable to contain herself anymore, stood and walked over to him, asking what was on everyone's minds.

"Peter…What's going on?"

He looked at her for a moment, glanced around at the rest of the hall, and then shook his head. "That's between us. "

Lily stood there a moment longer before turning her gaze to the door where the two boys had left. As much as she claimed to hate them, there was a part of her that desperately hoped the Marauders could survive this.

Whatever _this _was.

* * *

Remus pulled James into an empty class room, closing the door behind them before casting a quick locking and silencing spell. Finally, the werewolf released his drip on the other boy, causing him to stagger forward.

"Remus, what's going on?"

"You need to stop this."

"Stop what?"

"This!" Remus gestured wildly at James. "This, anger and resentment that you can't let go of. I've known you since first year, and I know you can't stay mad at him forever."

James glared. "Oh yeah? Why not?"

"You need him James. _We _need him. And he needs us. It's stupid to destroy ourselves over something like this."

" 'Something like this'? Remus, he betrayed us!"

"No. He made a mistake, James. There's a difference. It was stupid and foolish and he definitely wasn't thinking, but the last thing he wanted to do was hurt us."

"Well he did."

Remus groaned with frustration. "Merlin, James, he's 16! Everyone makes stupid decisions. And he's been punished for it! We've been punishing him for three weeks, and he's accepted it! Have you noticed that he hasn't once tried to come back? To ask for forgiveness? He thinks he deserves our hate, but he doesn't! He's been punished, he's learned his lesson, but at this point you have to forgive him or your only going to hurt yourself!"

"Why should I?" James began to raise his voice. "Why should I forgive him after what he did? I can't believe you just want to let this go! Maybe I think he shouldn't come back! Maybe I'm still angry! Just because you can't stay mad at anyone doesn't mean I-"

**SMACK!**

The sound rang through the room, causing both boys to freeze. James, with his head snapped to the side from the force of Remus' slap. Remus, with his hand still in the air in front of him, panting with rage.

Slowly, James turned back to face his friend, and was surprised that see, despite his eyes being narrowed in a glare, Moony's eyes were shining with unshed tears.

"No." Remus spoke slowly and dangerously. "Don't you dare. You're not allowed to be more angry than me. _I'm _the one who almost killed someone. _I'm _the one who had to wake up and find out that my best friend used _my _secret, _my_ insecurity as a weapon against someone. _I'm _the one whose whole life could have been over in a second because of something that wasn't my fault, that _isn't my fault." _

James was silent. This was the first time Remus had really talked about how the incident had affected him. James had been the one to get angry and upset initially, the one to scream and yell and pitch a fit. His friend had just quietly dealt with it, almost forgotten despite being the real victim. He listened as Remus continued.

"But I _forgave him._ Because losing any of you, the first people to really accept me and be my friend, would kill me more than some stupid prank."

The teenager sighed, and suddenly seemed very weary. He closed his eyes and brought a hand to his face, almost hiding the tear that escaped. Almost.

"I know you miss him too." Remus whispered. "Just…let it go."

And before James could say anything, the werewolf turned and left. Leaving the other boy alone with his thoughts.

* * *

The next time Remus saw James was a hour later. James walked into their dorm, grabbed the Marauders' Map, and walked back out.

* * *

Scanning the map, it didn't take James long to find the lost marauder. Since it was after dinner, most students were in their common rooms, leaving the hallways clear. Finally, he spotted the little dot labeled _Sirius Black _sitting unmoving in one of the secret caverns the marauders had discovered under the castle. It surprised James that after all these weeks of wondering were the boy had gone, it had not occurred to him that he would be in one of the passages. Regardless, the messy-haired boy quickly located the statue on the first floor, behind which was a dark and winding tunnel.

The path was not menacing, mostly due to having made many trips below the castle before. Nonetheless, James said a quick spell to light the tip of his wand. It was about a five minute walk, and by the time he reached the large room, he no longer needed the light from his wand.

The room was circular, with torches along the wall keeping it well lit. There were many couches, pillows, and blankets which the four boys had brought to make the room more comfortable. Taking a quick glance around, James almost didn't see Sirius. He was in his animagus form, curled up on a dark blanket on the floor. His eyes seemed unfocused, oblivious to his surroundings. Everything about him screamed 'lonely'.

"Padfoot…" James said slowly. The dog's head bolted up, startled by the intrusion. Upon seeing who it was, his ears drooped, and he lowered his head back to the ground with a soft whine.

James looked at him for a moment and sighed. He felt tired all of a sudden, and wondered if this was what Remus felt like earlier. He moved and sat on one of the overstuffed chairs in the corner.

"Padfoot… come here."

The dog hesitated, but after a moment stood and walked slowly over before sitting about a foot in front of his friend.

It took James a few moment to sort his thoughts, trying to decide how to say what he was feeling. He never had been very good at stuff like this, but there was no avoiding it now. Taking a shaky breath, the boy spoke.

"The reason I was so angry… was because… You _scared _me, Sirius. Scared me out of my mind because I thought I had lost you. I though I lost Remus because of what you did, but at the same time I thought that maybe... I thought you had betrayed us. I thought you weren't you anymore. I thought I lost you to something I couldn't save you from and it _hurt._ And I guess… it didn't take me long to realize that that wasn't the case… so then I was just angry because you did something stupid." James sighed, trying to make what he was saying make sense. "But... it's hard to be angry at friends. But at the same time, I thought you deserved my anger. So… I tried to hate you. Because it's easy to be mad at someone you hate. Then after awhile I was just… just angry because I couldn't…_can't _hate you."

Sirius let out a low whine and move forward a bit to put his head in James' lap. The other boy put his hand on the dog's head.

"I mean that, you know. I don't hate you. Never have. Probably never will. I _miss _you. And… I'm sorry… that I pushed you away for so long…for too long..."

James felt a slight ripple under his hand, and course fur became long hair beneath his fingers. Sirius lifted his hand to grip his friend's knee. James could feel Sirius' tears as his body trembled.

"_I'm sorry." _Sirius whispered, his grip on James' knee tightening, his voice thick with tears. "_I'm so, so sorry…"_

"I know." James replied, keeping his hand on his friend's head. "I forgive you."

* * *

That night, for the first time in three weeks, Sirius returned to the Gryffindor common room with his friend. And for the first time in three weeks, all four marauders were reunited. They stayed up late into the night, talking, apologizing, and forgiving. The next morning, as the four were leaving for breakfast together (for the first time in three weeks), James noticed something new on their wall.

54.) Forgiveness

James shook his head. "Hey Padfoot!"

The other boy stuck his head in the door he had just gone through. James grinned.

"We're not insane."

Sirius merely smiled, and left the room to follow his friends.

* * *

**Wooh, these last two chapters were kind of hard to write. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about them. Mostly I think I could have done better on the scene with James explaining stuff and forgiving Sirius. But let me know what you guys think! **

**Also, I have this entire week off school, so hopefully I'll be able to get at least a few more chapters up this week. So until then!**

**~BFMS  
**


	41. Breaking the Ice, and Everything Else!

James Potter _should _have been doing his transfiguration homework. He had his book open to the right page, he had practiced the spell he was to write about, he had a clean sheet of parchment in front of him, his quill poised and ready in his hand… and he was getting no where.

Glancing around at his friends, he saw that for the most part, they weren't doing much better. Remus was exhausted from his most resent transformation and was writing his essay much slower than he normally would. Peter looked a bit panicked, his frenzied writing barely legible. Sirius just looked bored, writing a word or two every couple of minutes. Sirius had been a lot quieter lately, still walking on eggshells a bit since the whole Willow incident, and it was honestly starting to get to James.

All four were stressed, and James decided it was time to do something about. That… and he really didn't want to do his homework. He stood up and threw down his quill.

"Alright guys, that's it. Let's go."

Three heads jerked up to look at him. Peter spoke first.

"Uh…go where?"

"You'll see."

Normally the other boys would have put up more of a fight than that, but like James, they didn't want to do homework either. So, the marauders all stood and exited the common room. They had been walking for a few minutes before James actually made up his mind as to where they were going (that had been the real reason he didn't tell the others… he hadn't known himself). Soon, they were standing in front of a blank wall. Remus raised an eyebrow.

"The Room of Requirement?"

"Yes!" James exclaimed, happily. "It will have exactly what we need!" With that, James began to pace in front of the wall, waiting for the magical door to appear. However, after a few moments, the boys stood perplexed as nothing happened.

"That's strange…" Sirius commented.

James looked up and down the wall. "This is the right place, right?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm…" Remus considered something for a moment. "James, do you know what you need?"

"Huh?"

"Well, maybe the room only gives you what you need if you actually _know _what you need."

James groaned in frustration, beginning to pace again. "Ugh, I just need… I need…"

Suddenly, a large door appeared on the wall out of nowhere, looking as though it had been there the whole time. The four boys exchanged glances, before hesitantly approaching the door. After a moment, James stepped forward and pulled the door open.

The room was a long rectangle shape, the back wall opposite the door completely bare. However, once the door was closed, the marauders turned to find the wall behind them lined with shelves filled with… plates, and glasses, and vases, and all manner of assorted glassware. Remus spoke first, a hint of concern in his voice.

"James… what do you need?"

Said boy was staring open mouthed at the room just as the rest of them were. Then, all of a sudden, a light bulb went off in his head. Rushing forward, he grabbed one of the many plates off the wall, turning quickly and chucking it against the wall where it shattered loudly. Remus, Peter and Sirius all jumped in surprise.

"James! What the heck are you doing?" Sirius cried out.

James laughed and turned back to his friends. "Don't you see? This is _exactly _what we need!"

"What, to break things?"

"Yes!"

"…" There was a moment of silence as James' friends processed his answer. Seeing their confusion, James continued.

"We've all been stressed out lately, right? With all that stupid homework and tests and Slytherins and transformations and stuff. This is the perfect way to release all that tension!"

James was again met with silence. Finally, Sirius shrugged and picked up a vase. "Hey, makes sense to me!" And with that, he hurled it away where it crashed next to James' plate. Laughing, he and James exchanged high-fives before grabbing more things to throw.

Peter could only look on in shock, flinching slightly with each crash. "Remus, maybe we should get out of he-" However, as the boy turned to look at his other friend, he was met with the werewolf's back as he walked to the shelves.

"Remus?" He cried.

The other boy merely shrugged. "What? I _am _stressed, so…" Remus grabbed a plate and pitched it at the wall, smiling as it shattered. James and Sirius cheered, handing Moony more china before all three threw their items together, the impact with the wall creating a resounding "crash"!

Meanwhile, the fourth Marauder fidgeted nervously. Peter was generally a clumsy boy, and tended to associate breaking things with getting into trouble, and found it hard to release these feelings as he watched expensive looking items fly through the air and splinter into a million pieces. His friends seemed to notice his apprehension, as they were soon at his side, pushing a tall glass goblet into his hands.

"Go on, Wormtail!" James encouraged.

"You wont get in trouble," Sirius added, "it's not like this stuff belongs to anyone. It's fun!"

Remus nodded in approval as Peter took a hesitant step forward. He timidly raised his arm, looking back once more as his friends smiled and gave him thumbs up. Finally, closing his eyes, he threw the glass hard. His eyes snapped open upon hearing the crash. After a moment, when he realized there really was no consequence attached to this activity, Peter let out a giggle. James clapped him on the back.

"See! What did we tell you? Feel better?"

Peter nodded vigorously, already grabbing another glass. The others laughed and joined back in. After a few minutes, Sirius suddenly jumped up and down.

"Oh! Oh!" He quickly pulled James over and began whispering in his ear. James broke out into a wide grin.

"Brilliant!" The messy-haired boy exclaimed. Unexpectedly, the two began ushering the others out of the room.

"What are you guys doing?" Remus questioned.

James simply smiled. "You'll see." He paced up and down in front of the door. For a second, it looked almost like the door had rippled, but they very easily could have imagined it. The four hastily threw open the door and re-entered the room. Remus looked around and began laughing, shaking his head in exasperation.

"Really, guys?"

Everything about the room was exactly the same, except all of the items along the shelves had changed to display Syltherin themes. Everything was green, silver, or decorated with snakes.

The boys laughed as they once again began hurling things at the far wall, cheering as they shattered. James and Sirius clutched each other for support as they doubled over with laughter, any previous awkwardness vanishing. Remus chucked whatever he could get his hands on, forgetting about his exhaustion, soreness, or need to feel normal. Peter also threw many items, for once not caring if his friends were better or stronger, because everything broke and fell into a single, indistinguishable pile on the floor.

Finally, the shelves were empty, and the four lay next to each other on the ground, carefully avoiding and stray shards of glass. They all smiled.

"Brilliant, mate." Sirius said to James.

The other boy smiled. "I thought it might help."

They all chuckled a bit more. Remus shook his head. "You do know that regardless of how much this helped, it definitely still falls under the insane category, right?"

"Oh of course, Moony."

They stayed there for a bit longer, forgetting all their troubles, until they finally stood and returned to their room, happily adding to the ever-lengthening parchment.

55.) Breaking things for fun.

* * *

**On the one hand, I'm pretty sure this many updates is a symptom of having no life. On the other hand, I'm actually updating for once. XD So I wont complain. :P**

**Ahh, unfortunately, I have never done this (wanted to... but haven't). But does anyone else ever get that feeling though? Like you just need to break something and then you'll feel soo much better? **

**Well, either way, I felt the Marauders needed a little stress relief so... yeah, here ya go! Not the best one, I know, but I like to think it's not the worst either! But, you all are the real judges of that, so please feel free to let me know!**

**Also, a little heads up, the next chapter is going to be a bit more serious (not nearly to the extent of the Willow chapters! But still...). Now normally, I would _never _put this many non-humorous chapters this close together, but I do have a reason for it. Although if it helps, I have the next chapter written, but I'm going to wait until I have the one after it written as well before posting it. That way I can post both at once, and you can at least have a humorous chapter as well.**

**Well, I hope you enjoyed! Please review with any comments, criticisms, flames, suggestions, and the like. Thanks for reading! ~BFMS  
**


	42. Run Hither, My dear

Most people associated Christmas with happy things. Brightly wrapped presents, drinking hot chocolate in front the fire, or spending time with family. Generally, Sirius Black did not share these associations.

This year, that would change.

Number 12 Grimmauld Place had always been a foreboding place. Dark in every sense of the word. On this particular night, just days after the sixteen-year-old's arrival from school and days before Christmas, one could hear most unpleasant things echoing through the house.

The night had begun with raised voices, a heated argument having been sparked from a careless comment at the dinner table. The seemingly-harmless debate escalated, until a woman's shrieks could be heard, the grating voice shouting profanities that no son should hear from his mother ever, let alone directed at him. The teenager met the screams with yells of his own, trying his hardest not to let his voice be drowned out by the two adults he unfortunately lived with. Soon the yells were accompanied by the sounds of thuds, crashes, and odd flashes of light.

Suddenly, Sirius Black burst through the front door, leaping over the stairs and landing on the street below, ducking quickly as an expensive looking vase flew over his head, shattering on the street in front of him. The boy laughed madly as he broke out into a run, disappearing into the darkness of night, ignoring the final flash of light behind him, no doubt the spell erasing him from his family forever.

He didn't look back.

* * *

Sirius waited for the adrenalin to wear off. It had to at some point. He couldn't stay jittery and hysterical like this forever, he was sure. Regardless, he had stopped running long ago, settling for a brisk walk, arms held tight around himself to protect himself from the cold night air.

He jumped when there was a sudden bolt of lightning, the light echoing the spells he had been dodging not an hour earlier. He looked up at the sky, sputtering as a fat rain drop landed square on his nose.

"Oh, you've _got _to be kidding me!" Sirius exclaimed as the rain began to fall harder and faster. He pulled the hood of his jacket over his head, although it didn't help much, as he was very quickly soaked through. He began walking faster, thinking through what he was going to do.

Luckily, the boy had managed to grab his belongings before escaping the house of Black, his school trunk having remained unpacked since his return. It had taken Sirius only a second to perform a quick shrinking spell before slipping the entirety of his possessions into the front pocket of his jacket.

Nevertheless, he had no money on him, and no way of getting to the bank to withdraw what little savings he had. He had inherited quite a bit from his uncle, but part of the old man's will had been that Sirius wait until he was of age to receive that money, meaning Sirius had no access to it until at least next year. Not to mention, who was going to rent an apartment to an unemployed, homeless sixteen-year-old?

Sirius sighed. As much as he didn't want to bother him, his only reasonable option at the moment was to go to his best friend, James Potter. He had always told Sirius he was welcome anytime. Taking a glance at his watch, Sirius flinched, hoping that James had meant it when he said "anytime", because at this rate, there was no way he'd make it to Godric's Hollow before one.

Time passed, and as he got closer and closer to his destination, Sirius could feel himself smiling more and more. He could tell he was probably still slightly hysterical, but he couldn't bring himself to care. _So what if I'm homeless? I'm free! Wandering in the rain at one in the morning, but heck, no more pureblood mania, right? _He laughed, but it wasn't a humorous laugh, it had a slightly desperate, frenzied sound to it. The adrenalin was rushing through his veins once more. And of course, it was at that moment that Sirius found himself standing before a large house in Godric's Hollow.

He wandered around the side of the house until he found what he was looking for. James' room was on the second story, but Sirius usually had no trouble climbing up the ivy covered wall. However, it occurred to him that knocking on his friend's window at (he checked his watch) 1:30 in the morning (oh, took a little longer than he thought) might give the other boy a heart attack. As such, he found himself pulling a small mirror out of his pocket that he hadn't been in the right mind to use earlier. For a moment he though the might not exactly be considered "in his right mind" right now, either, but shook his head and decided to think about it later.

"James Potter."

The mirror rippled slightly, but James did not pick up. Sirius thought he heard a soft snoring in the background.

"James?"

Nothing.

"James!"

There was a quick snort before the boy finally rolled over, blindly grasping for the mirror on his bedside table that was currently yelling at him. He glanced at the blurry object, put on his glasses, and then frowned in confusion.

"Padfoot?"

"Yup."

James groaned and ran a hand over his face. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Uh huh, 1:30 right?"

"In the morning!"

"Yup!"

James groaned again, rubbing at his eyes. Looking back at the mirror, he blinked a couple times, finally taking in the sight of his friend for the first time.

"Sirius, why are you all wet?" He glanced at his window, noticing the rain for the first time. "Are you outside?"

"Yes. Yes I am. And for once in my life I don't want to be. So please let me in." Sirius giggled in a way that made James slightly worried.

"Let you in? What are you…" James trailed off as he looked at his window again. Feeling suddenly very awake, scrambled out of bed, rushing to his window and throwing the curtains back. He looked down and was met with the sight of his best friend, soaking wet and smiling insanely, waving enthusiastically at him from the ground. James gaped.

"Bloody-"

Without a second thought, he ran from his room, taking the stares two at a time and hurrying to the front door. He hastily opened the door, looking around until he saw Sirius running from the other side of the house towards him. The messy-haired boy frantically gestured his friend inside, shutting the door behind them to keep the rain from getting in. Sirius laughed.

"Took you long enough!" James was sure it didn't him more than a minute, but before he could comment on it, he noticed Sirius shivering almost violently, his arms wrapped tightly around himself. James shook his head.

"My gosh, Padfoot, what the heck is going on?" Without waiting for an answer (an half suspecting he wouldn't get one) the boy quickly exited the room, returning a moment later with a tall pile of fluffy blue towels in his arms. Setting them down on the side table near the door, he promptly tossed one over Sirius' head, rubbing fiercely to get as much moisture out of his friend's hair as he could. Sirius laughed again.

"Prongs! It's okay, I can do that myself!" He pushed the other away and began drying his own hair, only to find James a moment later, pulling his jacket off and rubbing his arms with another towel.

"Prongs!"

"What? You're soaking! Let me help before you get pneumonia."

Sirius shook his head, but stopped complaining until eventually he was at least better than he was before and not shaking as much. He looked around the house.

"So where are your parents?"

"They're visiting my aunt. They said they'd be back some time tomorrow morning."

"You mean today?" Sirius smirked.

James didn't return it. "Yeah, today." He sighed, pulling his friend onto a couch in the living room. "Sirius, what's going on? Why did you feel the need to show up at 1:30 in the morning in the pouring rain?" The other boy's eyes darkened. "What happened?" He pressed carefully.

The darkness on Sirius' face lasted only a second. Suddenly, he burst into a wide, almost painful looking smile. Just thinking about the events of the night had the adrenalin racing back. He was practically high.

"I ran away."

James blinked. "What?"

Sirius laughed and stood up briskly, spinning in a quick circle. "I know, right? How bloody brilliant is that? I have barely a year before I'm of age and I run away _now_. Bloody comical!" He continued laughing, though James failed to see what was funny.

"Wait, Sirius, what happened?"

He shrugged. "Nothing particularly unusual, I suppose. I happened to bring up that this year we are discussing what we're going to do after Hogwarts. And mommy dearest just stuck he nose in the air and said," Sirius threw his head back, impersonating his mother's high-pitched voice, " 'Why, you'll join your cousins as a Death Eater, of course!'" He laughed again. "And of course I just _had _to disagree, which did _not_ sit well with either of my parental units. Some expensive things may have been broken, and some children may have been blasted off of tapestries, but it ultimately ended with me running out the door." He giggled again, and it didn't sound right.

James stared, open mouthed. His friend hadn't just run away, he had been _disowned_. As if reading his thoughts, Sirius began spinning in a circle absentmindedly.

"Brilliant, though, right? Bloody _$%*&^_-ing brilliant. I ran off, and now I have no money, no home, not even a place to stay, and more textbooks than resources." He giggled, running his hands through his hair as he stopped spinning.

"Merlin, James. Sweet _$%^&*_-ing MERLIN!" He began pacing, James following him with his head. "What the_ %*$^_ have I done? Lord knows it was totally worth it but _%*$^_! _$%*^_! What am I gonna do? I didn't even _*&$^%_-ing think this through before grabbing my things!_ $&%*_! _$&%*()_! This is insane! This deserves to be on the _$*%^_-ing list it's so insane! I _actually _ran away! People don't do that! People _talk _about that, _imagine _doing that! They don't actually go and _$&%!()_-ing do it! _$%^&_!"

"Padfoot." James finally rose, grabbing Sirius by the shoulders to halt his frantic movements. "Calm down, it's going to be alright."

"_$%&*_!"

"I know, but you'll be fine. You're not insane."

"Like _$*%&_ I am!"

"…Alright, so it's a _little _insane, but you said it yourself! It's worth it! We've all been wanting you out of that house for years!"

Sirius sighed, pulling his hair a bit in anxiety. "I know, I know. It's just…just…"

"_$%&*_ ?"

Sirius laughed. "Yes. _$%&*_."

James smiled back. "Alright, so how about we just talk this through alright." After receiving a nod, James smiled bigger. "I don't think you even realize that you biggest problem isn't even really a problem."

"Huh?" The other boy look thoroughly confused, which James found highly amusing.

He shook his head. "Padfoot, you _do_ have a place to stay."

"I do?"

James rolled his eyes and hit his friend upside the head. "Yes, you git! Here!"

"Here?"

"Yes!"

"…" Sirius gaped for a moment before falling forward to rest his head on James' shoulder. "_$%*^_, Prongs."

"Gee, thanks."

"You know what I mean."

"After all these years, yeah I do."

After a moment, Sirius pulled away suddenly. "What about your parents?"

"Oh please, they love you. Probably more than me." The two shared a laugh before becoming serious again.

"But really, James. Would they really let me stay here?"

"Oh course, Sirius. Your family."

They stared at each other for a moment before Sirius began tearing up, rubbing at his face to hide the tears.

"Bloody _%$&*_, James."

"Hey now, don't let mum hear you talking like that." He teased lightly before embracing the other.

Sirius laughed lightly. "Thanks."

"No problem."

"…I still think this is list-worthy."

* * *

Early that morning, the Potters returned to their home to find two boys, when there had most definitely only been one when they left. After some hasty explanations, Mrs. Potter embraced both boys, smiling happily before rushing off to make pancakes. Mr. Potter smiled as well, ruffling both boys' hair before joining his wife to help with breakfast. James smiled at his new brother.

"Still think it was insane?"

Sirius stroked his chin, as though deep in thought. "I suppose not. But it was at the time. And besides," He glanced at the parchment on the table. "it's too late now."

The two grinned before following the enticing scent of food being prepared, leaving the slightly longer list behind.

56.) Running away

* * *

**Hey all! Sorry this took a bit longer to get out than expected. I've actually had this chapter done for awhile, but I got caught in some writers block with the next one... ugh...**

**Any who, so now this major event is out of the way. If you were wondering about Sirius' excessive cussing in this chapter, I figured he was in a very stressful situation, and I felt the lovely curses could be his way of venting. (So no, he is not always a potty-mouth. XP) **

**Also, I had originally been planning to have this during summer, and I'm sure a lot of you probably think that would make more sense, but I do have a reason for doing things in this order!**

**Hope you enjoyed! And now... to the next chapter!  
**


	43. Hear you me?

"Woosh, wooosh…Vroom vroom! EEE! EEE! Ee-yow, woosh…"

"Prongs…"

"Yes, Remus?"

"…What are you doing?"

This was a good question. Hogwarts' resident Marauders (minus Sirius who had stayed in their room in a desperate attempt to finish some forgotten homework) were currently sitting in the Great Hall for breakfast when one James Potter began making the most interesting noises as he played with his food between the plate and his mouth. Said boy smiled at his friend.

"Food is much more exciting when you have fun sound effects to go with it!"

Remus chuckled and shook his head. "I'll admit it's a bit more intriguing, but it's still just breakfast."

"Aw, but it's fun! Woosh!" James enthusiastically shoved a forkful of eggs into his mouth. Remus and Peter began laughing when suddenly, the doors burst open and the final marauder, Sirius Black, came running in. Except, he didn't _just _run…

"WEE-OO! WEE-OO! WEE-OO! Outta my way! EEEEEEEEE-AAAAAAH!"

Coming to a sudden stop, the boy abruptly dropped into a seat next to James. He smiled at his friends. "Hey guys! So what have I missed?"

Remus raised an eye brow. "Padfoot, what was all that about?"

Sirius shrugged. "I dunno. Entrances are just more exciting when you have fun sound effects to go with them!"

Peter and Remus simply stared, open-mouthed, at the two marauders across from them. Finally, the werewolf shook his head.

"You two are creepily similar sometimes…"

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked.

James chuckled. "Right before you came, I was telling Remus how sound effects made breakfast more fun."

"Well really, sound effects make _everything _more fun."

"Everything, eh?" James grinned evilly.

Sirius returned the look. "Yes. Everything."

Remus put his head in his hands. "Dear Lord, shoot me now…"

* * *

The rest of the day was… interesting…

"Glub glub glub glub, psssssh, blublublublub…"

"Wow. I will admit, I am finding potions much more amusing." Peter stated as James stirred their caldron, including sounds intended to mimic the boiling and sizzling of the thick concoction.

In transfiguration, Sirius felt the need to make dramatic noises every time the object in front of him changed.

"Sheeeeeewoooooooh, zzzzzzzzmmmmm."

And of course, the walks in between classes were never silent.

"Click clack clickclick claaaaaaaackkkeh"

But the _real _fun, was in the boys' last class of the day. Charms.

"Nya nya nya nyaaaa…."

A year ago, Remus would have twitched. But he liked to think he had grown above that, and now merely re-read his notes before attempting the silent spells they were learning

It wasn't really that complicated, it just took a bit more focus than verbal spells. This being stated, it is quite obvious why the other three marauders might face a bit of trouble with this.

"Swishhhh, _flick!" _

"James! Focus!"

"Sorry…"

Soon, all the boys had their feathers floating. Sirius practiced the spell and cocked his head to the side.

"Hm… I wonder what would happen if you used sound effects with a spell."

James looked at him quizzically. "What do you mean?"

"You know, like, you do everything like a non-verbal spell, you just add a sound effect. Like…" Sirius began to demonstrate, moving his wand as instructed. "Whaaaa, _bli- _ACK!" Unfortunately, just as he flicked his wand, adding a "bling!", the feather in front of him promptly exploded, throwing him and his surrounding comrades to the ground, waving away the light smoke around them.

Remus coughed. "Well, now you know what happens, Padfoot."

"I guess so…"

Peter looked thoughtful for a moment. "I wonder if that's what happens with every sound effect?"

James and Sirius exchanged high-fives. Remus mouthed "_I'm going to kill you." _Peter wisely chose to hide the rest of the day…

"Swiiish!"

BOOM!

"Bwop!"

CRASH!

"Fawawaw!"

_Hisssssss._

"Crrrrrrr…"

FOOM!

"Yoooow!"

_Blub blub blub blub  
_

"ENOUGH!" After a good ten minutes, Professor Flitwick finally lost it. Remus was surprised he had lasted so long. Signing, the small man rubbed a hand over his face, unable to bare the sight of the destruction wrought upon his classroom.

"…Class dismissed…"

* * *

"Neee, Nyaaaah, Nrrrrrr…"

"Padfoot… Please?"

Sirius sighed. "Well, seeing as you have gone the whole day without stabbing James or I, I suppose I can cut you some slack."

Remus let out a breath of relief. "Thank you."

James chuckled. "It _is _getting kind of late."

"Yeah, I'm ready for bed."

"Me too. See you guys in the morning!"

"Night!"

Within minutes, the lights were out, and the four boys were in bed. All was silent.

Well…

"Sleeeeeeeep, sleeeeeeeeep."

"Prongs!"

"Sorry…"

"Sigh…"

* * *

57.) Sound effects.

* * *

**Yes. This chapter is short, and definitely not one of my best. But, the I think the next couple of chapters will be better, because I have a better idea of what I want to do with them. So I hope you still enjoy!**

**Next chapter will hopefully be out, at the lastest, by next week. So till then! ~BFMS  
**


	44. React! React!

OWLS.

Say this word to different people and you will receive different reactions. For example, if you asked a young first-year student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, you would probably receive an excited response about the pet they had recently acquired, or their friend had acquired, or something of the sort where the image in their mind was that of a nocturnal bird of prey. Now say the same word to a fifth-year student at the same school, and their reaction will be radically different.

And by different, I mean worse.

Much worse.

OWLS were important. They determined what classes you took in the years to come which by extension could effect your future career. Even the slackers, the trouble makers, the procrastinators, found themselves studying through the nights. Stress levels were at an all time high. And it showed.

"SHUT. UP!"

A group of second-year wizards ran screaming from, of all places, the library. Screaming at them was, of all people, Remus Lupin. Normally calm and level-headed, the boy had been studying furiously for weeks now. Being a werewolf and knowing that job opportunities would be limited, the boy was determined not to be further hindered by something as controllable as test scores. Sleep was a small sacrifice to securing his future. As such, he felt no remorse for clearing out the library after the younger students began playing cards and talking at above-whisper levels.

The remaining three marauders, who normally would have snickered or gasped at the scene before them, merely stuck their noses further into their textbooks. Having incited their friend's wrath before already, they felt no need to experience it again.

Remus stalked back to the table, breathing heavily, dark rings under his eyes from a lack of sleep. James looked up nervously.

"…Moony?"

Said boy's head snapped up, pinning his friend with a wild-eyed look. James proceeded with caution. "Um, maybe you should take a break or something? You seem kind of tired…"

"I can sleep after the OWLS." The answer was short and clipped, leaving no room for argument. James, Sirius, and Peter exchanged glances, already knowing their week would be interesting.

* * *

The marauders learned a fun fact about Remus that week. When peace and sleep are replaced with solid stress, and baking is declared forbidden, paranoia begins to set in.

"I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail…"

"You're _not _going to fail, Moony. Just calm down."

"Calm down? **Calm down?** Your just trying to sabotage me!"

"What? Why on Earth would I want to sabotage you?"

"I don't know. But whatever your reason, it's not going to work! I'm not going to stop studying till these tests are over and done with…"

James shook his head in dismay, not entirely sure of what to do. He was tempted to take back what he said and allow the boy to bake instead, but at that moment, fellow Gryffindor Lily Evans happened to appear.

A crease in her brow, the young girl questioned James. "What's going on with Remus?"

The boy shrugged. "Oh you know, OWLS got him a bit bonkers."

"Shouldn't you do something?"

"I've tried, but nothing works!"

"Have Sirius or Peter tried?"

James rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, Sirius is off trying to find scented candles. It's the last thing either of us could think of. And, well… Peter's missing."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Missing?"

Nodding in response, James explained. "Sirius and I just left for a little bit to try and think of something, so we left Peter to watch Remus. But when we got back, he was gone."

"Why don't you just ask?"

"Lily, NO!" James reached to stop the girl from approaching the frantically studying werewolf, but was too late.

"Remus?"

The boy's eyes snapped up for a moment before returning to his notes. "Yes Lily?"

"Um, I was just wondering if you'd seen Peter anywhere?"

"He sneezed earlier. I didn't want him getting me sick during the OWLS so I locked him in a closet."

James and Lily stared open mouthed at the nonchalant statement. Sputtering, the red-head began speaking again. "B-but, isn't he your friend?"

"So what if he is, huh? WHAT'S IT TO YOU!" Leaping from his seat, the wild-eyed teen shook Lily's shoulders. James cautiously pulled Lily away from his friend.

"O-kaaay… Remus, we're all stressed about these tests, but I think you might be overreacting just a bit."

"I am NOT overreacting! You're all UNDER-reacting! This is the OWLS we're talking about! They… they…" Remus blinked owlishly, as if just waking up. James and Lily watched in amazement as the other boy seemed to take a few deep breaths and calm down. Looking up at his two companions, Remus suddenly questioned. "Do you guys smell…chocolate?"

Exchanging glances, the two inhaled deeply and found that, sure enough, the smell of chocolate had suddenly filled the room.

"Eh hum."

The three figures all snapped their head towards the sound of someone clearing their throat. Their eyes landed on none other than Sirius Black, standing in front of the entrance to the common room. Behind him, was a pale looking Peter, who was shooting nervous glances at Remus. Sirius jerked his head towards his friend.

"I found him in a closet on my way back."

James gaped for a moment until his eyes landed on what Sirius was holding. The two boys shared a grin. For gripped gently in Sirius' hand, casting a soft light, was…

…a scented candle.

* * *

That night, things began to mellow out. With Remus properly calmed, the remaining marauders were finally able to properly stress. The four friends studied together, and when the OWLS finally rolled around, all four did well. They laughed about it later, about how they could have stressed out so much over what seemed now like such an easy test. Regardless, from that day forth, Remus slept with a small, chocolate-scented candle on his bed-side table, forever reminding him of yet another symptom he was responsible for.

58.) Overreacting to EVERYTHING

* * *

22 YEARS LATER

Remus lay on his back on his bed in his room, staring at the ceiling. Pregnant… Tonks, the love of his life, his wife… was pregnant…

He groaned and ran his hands over his face. He felt bad for blowing up at Harry like that. He knew he was only trying to help but, the boy couldn't possibly understand what this meant. If his child was born a werewolf, doomed to the same life as Remus… how could he live with himself?

He sighed, turning onto his side. Blinking a few times, he saw something in the corner of the room. He had been moving around a lot lately, and had hastily thrown many things into a small pack in case he needed to leave in a hurry again. Having been tossed carelessly to the side, the bag had come open, allowing a few items to fall to the floor.

Standing slowly, Remus moved to pick up one of the items. He smiled. Pulling out his wand, he chuckled as he lit the small candle, the scent of chocolate filling his senses. One of the plusses to magic, was the ability to charm things to last practically forever. Sitting once more, Remus began to think more clearly.

He thought of Harry's words. The boy was so much like James. And… he was completely right. If his child was a werewolf, than he had the opportunity to make sure his life was nothing like Remus'. He could make sure his child grew up happy, accepted, loved. He had been brash and scared. He had overreacted, he chuckled to himself. But he knew now. He knew what he had to do.

Taking one last deep inhalation, Remus gently blew the candle out, placing it carefully on his side table, where it belonged. Standing, the man straightened his clothes and smiled.

He had to go have a talk with Tonks.

* * *

**Aaaaand there you go. Eh, not much to say about this one. I guess I liked it? I dunno. Let me know what you think!**

**You're all gonna be getting a chunk of chapters pretty soon but they're...well...you'll see...*shifty eyes***

**Also, I'm sorry for not responding to reviews, but I wanted you all to know that I read all of them and they are greatly appreciated! Seriously, reading your comments makes my day. :)**

**Hope you enjoyed! Till next time... ~BFMS  
**


	45. A Failure to Communicate

James sighed in contentment.

"Ah… no more OWLs. Feels good, doesn't it guys?"

His three companions all nodded vigorously in agreement. The friends were currently sitting in the Great Hall, having just finished their dinner.

Sirius grinned widely. "And you know what makes it even better?"

"What?"

"Dessert!" Sirius gestured at the table which, at that moment, became covered with a variety of sweets. Remus looked at the other boy in confusion.

"How did you do that?"

Sirius winked. "Instinct!"

The others rolled there eyes and began tucking into the new food in front of them. James greedily piled cookies onto his plate, while Remus and Peter found a golden bowl filled with ice cream. Sirius, meanwhile, had found a plate covered with steaming pastries. Grabbing one, he thoughtlessly took a massive bite.

"UGGH!"

James, Remus, and Peter, all looked up at their friend's cry.

"What's wrong, Padfoot?" James questioned.

"Hmmfughmm!" Sirius exclaimed while gesturing wildly towards his mouth.

James nodded knowingly. "You bit into the pastry and the filling burst out and burned your mouth?"

Sirius nodded. "Mm! Mmhughmmhm?"

"I don't know how I was able to understand that…" The messy-haired boy responded.

The two bystanders merely gaped in amazement. Sirius took a gulp of cold water to cool his mouth before speaking.

"That was weird, mate."

Remus nodded. "Seriously, how did you know what he was trying to say?"

James shrugged. "I dunno. I just…did." He thought for a moment. "I guess the miming kind of helped."

"Helped?" Peter questioned incredulously. "It could hardly be called miming! He just sort of waved his arms in front of him."

"True…"

Suddenly, Peter giggle and elbowed Sirius lightly. "Hey Padfoot, mime something else!"

"Huh? Why?"

"To see if Prongs understands!"

"Ah, I see. Alright then!" After a moment of pondering, Sirius grinned. He ran both his hands through his hair, with a disgusted look on his face.

Within seconds, James cried out. "Snivillus!" The two boys laughed and exchanged high fives. Remus stroked his chin in thought.

"Well, that one seemed kind of obvious. Try another one, Sirius."

Nodding, Sirius began to think of something else. Getting another idea, Sirius once again began miming. This time, he stood up. He put one hand in front of him, positioned as if he was holding a broom stick and flipped his hair over his shoulder.

"Holyhead Harpies!"

Remus and Peter snapped their heads to stare at James as Sirius high-fived him. Remus shook his head. "Alright, I'm officially impressed."

But it didn't end there. For a moment later, James and Sirius exchanged a look and grinned.

"You don't think…"

"That we could…"

"But we could…"

"We just have to…"

"It is possible…"

"Likely, even, if we play our cards right…"

Peter finally could take it any more and blurted out. "What are you guys talking about?"

The two merely smiled evilly.

"Well you see…"

* * *

It was the last full day at Hogwarts. There were no classes, the students had one more free day before returning home the next morning. As such, the students were all happily chatting during breakfast, discussing the house cup, family reunions, next year's courses, and other such topics. It was just about halfway through the meal when James and Sirius rose from their seats and walked to the staff table. Most of the school was confused by this, but didn't pay it much mind. Standing in front of the headmaster, Dumbledore, James gestured for the man to lean forward. Complying, Sirius began whispering into the elderly wizard's ear. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled with amusement, and after a moment, he pulled back, smiling as he gave the boys a nod. Grinning wildly, the two boys ran back to their seats and quickly jumped to stand on the top of the table while Remus and Peter stood on the floor.

James spoke loudly. "Ladies and gentlemen!"

"And Slytherins!" Sirius added, earning him a glare from said table.

The other boy continued. "We know you've all been eagerly awaiting our final prank of the year,"

A number of students began screaming, while several ran for the door, only to find it locked.

Remus picked up where James had left off, "Don't worry! It's not as bad as you might think!"

"Yeah! If you embrace it, it can actually be quite fun!" Peter finished.

All four boys lifted their wands. Remus had helped them look up exactly what they needed, and they had even practiced a few times. Waving their wands, they said a few quick words which most students did not recognize before ending with a booming, "SILENCIO!"

Suddenly, the entire room was plunged into.. Silence. Students turned to each other, mouths moving furiously but with nothing coming out. Some tried screaming, but to no avail. Everything was quiet.

Giggling madly, James and Sirius jumped down from the table. All four marauders ran to the door, the people around them too dismayed to think to stop them. Just as the door was closing behind them, James called out,

"Enjoy yourselves!"

* * *

Lily was frustrated. She wanted nothing more than to screech at the top of her lungs at the bane of her existence (aka, the marauders) but alas, she could not. She had furiously tried to get the headmaster or one of the teachers to reverse the spell, but none would comply. Dumbledore told her he had promised the four Gryffindor boys that he wouldn't tamper with the spell until the end of the day. The other teachers had mostly had the same response,

"Of all the marauders' pranks, this has to be their best one yet! Peace and quiet all day long! Yipee!"

Well, the "yippee" part might have been absent, but regardless! Lily was in a bit of a predicament. After wandering the castle for a bit, she finally found the four boys in an empty hallway. Storming up to them, she temporarily forgot about the reason she was so angry and attempted to yell at the boys. When they merely chuckled, she flushed red.

James shook his head. "Come now, my dear, you'll have to do better than that! Now, what exactly are you trying to tell us?"

Eyes narrowed, the girl pointed to herself. Peter spoke up first. "You!"

Nodding, the girl began to walk in place. The boys pondered over the meaning.

"Walking?"

"Jogging?"

Remus snapped his fingers. "Going! She's going…"

Lily held up two fingers. "Two?" Peter questioned.

Sirius shook his head. "No, no. Not like the number, like t-o. Lily's going to…"

The red-head made a strangling motion with her hands. The four boys exchanged glances, speaking together. "Kill."

Lily them gestured to the group in front of her.

"Us!" Peter exclaimed. "Lily's going to kill us!" For a moment, the boy smiled, proud that he had finished the message. However, his face soon fell. "…Oh."

And with that, the four 'brave' Gryffindor turned tail and ran, the fiery red-head hot on their heels.

* * *

The rest of the day went similarly. Students miming messages to their friends, communicating through wild hand gestures. James' favorite was when they found a first-year trying to ask an older student what time the train was leaving the next morning by attempting to mimic a train. Remus, however, was amused by the lovey-dovey six-year couple who kept forming hearts with their hands while gazing lovingly into each others eyes. Peter found joy in the hufflepuff girl trying to explain to her friends that she had lost her hairbrush by wildly combing her hair with her finger. But Sirius preferred the group of third-years flapping their arms like birds (they never did figure out what they were trying to say).

This went on until finally, as the students entered the Great Hall for the final feast, they found their voices returned to them. There was much cheering, some cursing, but overall joy. Dumbledore stood, smiling at the students around him.

"Well, this has been a fine year. And I like to think we have all learned a little bit about communication." His twinkling eyes turned to the marauders, who raised their glasses at the man.

"But for now," the wise wizard continued, "let the feast begin!" And with that, the castle was once more bustling with noise.

* * *

The four boys entered their dorm room, laughing at the havoc they had caused all day. Sirius fell back onto his bed.

"That was awesome! Good to know if we ever play charades we're set!"

"Definitely!" Remus laughed. He then turned to James. "Hey Prongs, did you already-"

"Yup." He smiled. And sure enough, there on the list, was

59.) Miming

* * *

THE NEXT DAY

It was late morning, the sun was streaming in through the windows, lighting the space that had been cleaned the days before due to packing. The room was empty, until suddenly the door burst open, a distraught looking group of marauders rushing in. Remus cursed as he grabbed his trunk and other affects.

"Merlin, why do you two always take so long at breakfast!"

"It's not our fault! We lost track of time! You should have told us it was getting late!"

"That's not our responsibility!" Peter exclaimed.

"You know what? Who cares! Lets just get out of here before the train leaves without us!"

"Sirius is right, let's go!" Remus agreed.

"Do we have everything?" Peter questioned.

Sirius nodded vigorously as he and the others ushered each other out the door. "Yes, yes, we have everything, now get moving!"

And with that, they were gone. The door slammed shut, shaking the walls of the room and causing a small pin on the back wall to tremble and fall. With the pin no longer supporting it, the long parchment it had been holding in place fluttered to the ground, a slight breeze carrying it behind a dresser where it settled on the ground, hidden in the dusty shadows.

* * *

**Hehe, I mime stuff all the time. And that beginning scene with James and Sirius actually happened to me and my brother!**

**But alas, I'm stalling...  
**

**VERY LONG (but very important) AN!**

**Alright everyone, it's time I was straight with you. I hope you'll believe me when I say that this like, physically pains me to say… but I am ending this story.**

**Just hear me out. I've been writing this story for like, two years. In that time, a lot has changed for me, from personal things in my life to my writing style. And it's gotten to the point where I don't feel I can do this story justice anymore, because I'm just not in the same mindset I was in when I started it. The last few chapters just haven't felt up to par for me, and with my moving away to college in August, I know I wouldn't even be able to put in the time and effort it deserves. I would rather end this story when it's still on a high note than keep it going till it crashes and burns. Don't get me wrong, I love this story. It is, and always will be, my baby and I am very sad to see it end. But I've decided that this story has just run it's course. All stories have a natural life-span, and Symptoms of Insanity has reached its end. **

**(Oh gosh, I feel like crying. Is that pathetic? I can't decide...)  
**

**So, tomorrow morning, I will be posting three things:**

**1) The final symptom**

**2) An epilogue, and**

**3) The complete list of symptoms.**

**I am still going to continue writing fan fiction, both in other categories and for Harry Potter (perhaps even a few more marauders tales!) so I hope that you will keep an eye out for me as I have loved receiving all your opinions on my writing. **

**I would like to give one massive and very genuine thank you to all who have taken the time to read this, and a special thank you to all of my reviewers. I mean, over 500 reviews? That's more than I ever dreamed I could get. I know I wasn't very good at replying to them, but I read them all, and they meant the world to me. **

**(I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry...)  
**

**You haven't seen the last of me, so until next time!**

**~~~BFMS~~~**


	46. Some Things Never Change

The room was silent. To many, it would not be particularly special. A dorm room of a boarding school, it held four beds, each with a unique trunk placed in front of it. Each bed had a simple side table accompanying it, although all were currently bare, patterns in the dust suggesting they had only recently been cleared. There were two dressers, each with a mirror over the top, also empty. There was a small bookcase beside a window seat, which overlooked the school grounds. The room, situated in an extraordinary, magical place, was nothing special. But then, the door burst open, carrying life and energy into the formerly lifeless room, and it seems suddenly almost inexplicably brighter.

First to enter was a frail, sickly looking boy. His hair was fair and thin, already showing signs of graying. The robes of the boy are worn, patched in certain places, but seemingly well taken care of through the years. Lanky limbs disguised a hidden strength, a power within that lurked just beneath the surface. All this seemed to contrast the boys face, which seemed softer, yet more powerful. Amber eyes showed wisdom from years of struggle and pain, but also warmth from years of joy and acceptance. His smiled was honest, full of bliss and optimism. He seemed older than his body, but as he walked into the room, his display of true happiness and excitement made him look ten years younger.

Close behind him, a hand clasping the first's shoulder, was a boy who seemed to contradict the one in front of him. He was tall, his shoulders wide and strong. The years of athleticism had been kind to him, his arms and body muscular without being too bulky. He walked with a certain arrogance, head held high with a knowledge of his own power. His dark hair was messy, seeming to sprout from every direction, and yet it suited him, a symbol of his laid-back attitude. His face was undeniably handsome. A strong, chiseled jaw opened to release a booming laugh, framed by glistening teeth. Hazel eyes were partially obscured by round, wire framed glasses, yet still shined with loyalty, and kindness, and a boyish charm that he never quite grew out of.

Next to enter, throwing an arm around the messy-haired boy, was a different kind of strength. He was also tall, though not so much as his companion, and while muscular he was much leaner, his body lithe and exuding a graceful elegance. His walk was like water, gliding through the air. His long arms reached for his friends, holding them close for all he was worth before being playfully pushed away. Slender fingers ran through silky black hair, falling effortlessly to his shoulders. His features were sharper, more refined than the others. His eyes were bright, displaying a darkness that had long been buried by intelligence, joy, loyalty, and friendship.

The last boy was pulled into the room, linking arms with the one before him. He seemed different from the others. He was much shorter, and also stockier, heavier and more clumsy. His hair was shaggy and a mousy brown color. Looking up at his friends, his face seemed weaker. Mouth smiling shyly, as though unsure of himself. His eyes were watery and shone with admiration, but also with trust and hope.

They were the Marauders. They were all different, but had stuck together through years of school, good times and bad, ups and downs, they were friends. Best friends.

Sirius black laughed and fell onto his bed. "Oh Merlin, can you believe it's already been seven years?"

"I know." Remus Lupin shook his head in disbelief. "And now here we are. Hogwarts _Alumni_."

"Ooh, don't say that till we get off the train!" James Potter exclaimed.

Peter Pettigrew nodded in agreement. "Yeah, it is pretty weird."

Sirius looked around the room. "Can you believe this is our last time in here?"

"I can't believe any of this!" James replied.

"Of course not, Prongs." Remus said in a sarcastically sympathetic voice. "This is all too much for you little brain to handle, isn't it?"

James swatted Remus away as he tried to pat his head. "Oy, that was uncalled for!"

"No it wasn't." Sirius laughed.

Peter grinned too. "I'm gonna have to agree with Padfoot on this one, mate."

James smiled, and quickly grabbed the shorted boy in a headlock. "Why Peter! You traitor!" Peter began to laugh as his friend gave him a noogie. "Alright! Alright! I give! It was completely uncalled for!"

"That's better!" And with that, James released him, sending Pettigrew staggering forward a few steps until he was leaning against the wall.

The four boys laughed until Peter suddenly went silent. Remus looked over, seeing his friend still leaning against the wall but with his eyes squinting at something .

"Wormtail? What's up?" Remus followed his friend's gaze to the dresser behind him.

The other boy moved to kneel next to the dresser, reaching behind it. "There's something back here…"

"Oh! Is it that Herbology homework I lost?"

"Please, James, you never _did _your Herbology homework."

"Oh, right."

The two were pulled from they joking at the sound of a small gasp from Peter. They looked over to find him gazing at a rather long piece of parchment that he had pulled from behind the piece of furniture. Wordlessly, the boy turned the page around, revealing the paper to the other.

The parchment had yellowed with age, and had wrinkled from it's position behind the dresser. The corners were frayed, and the entire thing was covered in dust. But regardless, the writing was still legible. The Marauders gaped at the top of the page, at the big curly letters faded from time and dust and darkness.

SYMPTOMS OF INSANITY

"Merlin…" James whispered, recognizing his own handwriting, despite having changed over the last two years.

Remus gently took the list into his hands. "I'd completely forgotten about this…"

Sirius patted his mattress. "Well don't hog it over there! Let's all look!"

Nodding in agreement, the four friends gathered on Sirius' bed, looking over Remus' shoulder as he held the paper. Together, the Marauders read over the long forgotten testaments of their adventures. James snickered.

"I forgot how insane you were, Sirius."

Said boy raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Oh come on. 'Chasing your tail'? Or your ungodly wake up calls?"

"Please, your one to talk! Mr. I-laugh-for-no-reason!"

Remus laughed. "I think we established that your both insane. Especially considering all the times you almost killed yourselves." He stated, pointed to a symptom.

Peter giggled. "Hey, they aren't the only ones on there! Still reading books for girls, Moony?"

The werewolf blushed as the others laughed. "Oh yeah? Well you're the one who _wanted _to be on this list!"

Soon they were all laughing. "Man, I forgot about Sirius dressing up with the decorations!"

"Me too! And that time we tried to 'scare' that box for James?"

"Haha, how did he ever talk us into that?"

"I'm just that skilled."

"Sure you are. That's why you had to wear post-it notes on your arm to get anything done!"

"Remus had some good ones on here too."

"Don't remind me…"

"No really! I mean, the chat speak thing?"

"OMG, right?"

"Yeah, and then how he totally blew us away with his dramatic entrance?"

"We couldn't top that one."

The four spent awhile reminiscing, laughing at most, together through all. Finally, the parchment was carefully rolled up and set on the side table while the boys lay on the bed side by side.

"Seven years…" James shook his head.

Sirius grinned. "It's been insane."

"Yeah, it has."

There was a moment of silence, before Peter spoke up. "What happens now, guys?"

Remus shrugged. "We… go. Get jobs, live our lives… become adults."

James spoke in a surprisingly serious tone. "You know that war is coming."

"Yeah. We know..."

Sirius sat up abruptly. "So what! We're just going to have to do something about it!" He stood up, his friends sitting up to watch him. "We're going to be aurors, guys! We're actually going to be able to fight! To make a difference! To _end _the war." Placing his hands on his hips and sticking his nose in the air, Sirius tried to lighten the mood. "Someone might even name their kid after me!"

James leapt up to stand next to his friend. "Oh! Me too! I'll be a great hero, and someone will name their kid after me, too!"

Remus chuckled and shook his head, standing to ruffle his friends' hair. "Yeah, right. Like anyone'd name their kids after you maniacs!"

"We're not maniacs! In fact, I like to think we have matured over the years." As if on cue, at that moment there was a muffled explosion from downstairs, followed by several shrieks. Remus pinned the two boys with a look.

James immediately got defensive. "Hey! Don't look at us like that! This was completely different!"

"Yeah!" Sirius agreed. "I mean, what sort of second year leaves their luggage unattended on the last day of school? That's just asking for it."

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose, but you could still see he was smiling. "You two are impossible."

Peter stood beside the others. "You got to admit though, Remus, they really have mellowed out over the years."

The werewolf considered it for a moment. "I guess your right. The pranks have definitely been less frequent." He smiled sincerely at his friends. "And I know you guys are going to be ok out there."

"And you too, Moony!" James exclaimed, throwing an arm over the frail boy. "We've still got your back, and the end of school does not mean the end of the Marauders."

Sirius grinned, and had a sudden thought. Grabbing a quill out of his bag, he gently unrolled the list and added to it. The crisp ink stood out starkly against the faded words and yellowed paper.

60.) Growing up.

The four boys smiled at each other, all ready for the adventure that was adulthood as long as they were together. James noticed an earlier symptom out of the corner of his eyes and grinned.

"All of us… Aurors… fighting for the good guys… you know what this means?" And with that, he began…to sing.

"We are the champions! Of the Wooorld!"

Sirius laughed and continued the next line. "And weeee'll, keep on FIGHTING! Till the eeeend!"

Remus and Peter joined in as well, all four had their arms around each other and swayed with the song.

"We are the champions, we are the champions! No time for losers, cause we are the champions-"

The Marauders struck a pose-

"OF THE WORLD!"

After a moment, all four dissolved into giggles, hanging onto each other for support. When they had finally caught their breath, James smiled at his friends around him.

"You know what guys? I think we're gonna be okay."

"Yeah." Remus smiled softly. "I think so too."

* * *

**...~THE END~...**


	47. Epilogue: Our Children are Our Future

The doors to the Gryffindor dormitories had seen better days. As always, they were thrown open with gusto by eager first-years, anxious to begin their time at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Through those doors, stepped two boys. They practically skipped into the room, identical arms linked together in excitement.

"We're finally here! Can you believe it, George?" Said one mirror to the other.

"Why yes, Fred. I _can _believe it. I mean, we are amazing."

"Indeed, my brother." The two looked around their new room, having some time to themselves due to having sprinted there from the Great Hall.

"Wow. This is way bigger than our room at home!"

"Definitely. I have a feeling we're going to like it here."

"Seriously, just think of the havoc we can wreak!"

"We can finally use magic in our pranks!" The two twins exchanged high-fives, as George leaned his hand against the far wall.

Fred clapped his hands together happily. "This is going to be so AWESOME!"

George laughed. " 'Insane' is more like it!"

"Haha, that's tr-"

"ACK!"

Fred whipped his head around at the sound of his brother's cry. He raised an eyebrow. It appeared as though the space where George's hand had been on the wall had dissolved, leaving a rectangular compartment.

"George! What happened?"

The other boy, who had pulled away when he noticed the wall changing, stepped closer. "I don't know." He peered into the space. "Hey! There's something in here!"

"Oo, what is it?"

Cautiously, George pulled out a piece of parchment that had been carefully rolled up and tied up with a red and gold ribbon. The twins exchanged confused glances. Suddenly, Fred began jumping up and down in excitement.

"Oh! Oh! Maybe it's a treasure map!"

"Wicked!" With this new theory in mind, the ribbon was hastily untied, although they were still gentle due to the paper's obvious age. Together, the Weasley twins carefully began unrolling the parchment until a single phrase was revealed.

SYMPTOMS OF INSANITY

The writing was faded, but still legible. Fred and George once more looked at each other in confusion.

"Symptoms of Insanity?" George said in a perplexed voice.

Fred shrugged. "Let's see what it says."

Nodding in agreement, the rest of the list was revealed. Each boy held a corner of the paper as identical eyes scanned the list, running over every symptom. After a few moments, Fred spoke up.

"Hey George?"

"Yes Fred?"

"Is it just me, or do many of these apply to us?"

George nodded. "Indeed. And Fred?"

"Yes George?"

"Is it just me, or do many of these give me some _very _good ideas."

The Weasley twins looked at each other and grinned deviously.

Oh yes.

They were going to have _fun_ at Hogwarts.

* * *

.

* * *

**Just a quick note: I know a few people thought I should have Harry and Co. find the list, but I felt the Weasley twins were more fitting, cause they were pranksters and also inherited the map.**

**It's been fun all! I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have! Please keep an eye out for my future works!**

**Love for all!**

**~~~BFMS~~~  
**


	48. Symptoms of Insanity

**SYMPTOMS OF INSANITY**

1.) Playing with your food and calling it 'art'

2.) Making a list of symptoms that most likely apply to yourself as well.

3.) Basing your ingredients list off your obsession's favorite color.

4.) Eating dog food. For ANY reason!

5.) Chasing your tail.

6.) Laughing for absolutely no reason. None.

7.) Waking up at an Ungodly hour every. Single. Day.

8.) Reading a book CLEARLY meant for Girls. And then trying to defend it.

9.) Actually WANTING to be on a list of insane things.

10.) Treating your own son like dirt when he NEVER deserves it.

11.) Acting like the things your family says or does is your fault, when it's obviously not.

12.) Silence.

13.) Spontaniously bursting out into song at the most inappropriate/ inopportune/ awkward times.

14.) Accepting ANYTHING from Peeves! _Especially_ strange packages, and then handing them off to your FRIENDS!(because said friends may try to kill you).

15.) WEARING the Christmas decorations (even if they do look better that way).

16.) Almost getting yourself killed on a **regular basis** out of BOREDOME!

17.) **Dancing** in the _rain_.

18.) Befriending a werewolf.

19.) Befriending a Quidditch-obsessed, love-sick puppy who can't even keep his hair flat.

20.) Befriending a walking bully-magnet who can't even take a spelling test without hyperventilating.

21.) Befriending an egotistical, pranking-machine who seems to be in a constant state of sugar-high.

22.) Glaring at inanimate objects to "scare them".

23.) Yelling at someone right next to you.

24.) Walking into a room and forgetting what you're doing.

25.) Completely LOSING IT over a lack of organization.

26.) Having to wear post-its on your arm to remember anything.

27.) Obeying the commands of random post-its on your arm without question when they make NO sense and clearly weren't written by you.

28.) Falling in Love.

29.) Fighting with your own team.

30.) Creating an army of first-years to do your biding.

31.) Creating a chain of letters instead of just simply writing to each other directly like normal.

32.) Talking in Chat Speak.

33.) Switching personalities to scare the poor little first-years.

34.) Spending your class time drawing suicidal stick figures.

35.) Being convinced your friend is an imposter simply because he took notes.

36.) Referring to yourself in the third person.

37.) Braiding people's hair every time you get bored.

38.) Losing your wand when it's behind your ear the whole time.

39.) Becoming so tired, you actually become super hyper.

40.) Breaking a record through pranking.

41.) Speaking all grammatical symbols _(Period)._

42.) -!( **DRAMATIC ENTRANCES!**)!-

43.) Wrapping people.

44.) Making your hair holiday themed.

45.) Rapping.

46.) Stress Baking

47.) Stalking

48.) Therapy

49.) Trying to prank the MASTERS!

50.) Nightmares

51.) Overly dramatic public displays of affection

52.) Switching names

53.) **BETRAYING YOUR FRIENDS**

54.) Forgiveness

55.) Breaking things for fun.

56.) Running away

57.) Sound effects.

58.) Overreacting to everything

59.) Miming

60.) Growing Up


End file.
